si Page 899 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Super Bowl: Still The Most Important Thing Ever
There's gnashing of teeth in America and self-congratulations in Europe over a report that the Super Bowl is no longer the most popular sporting event on the planet. Not so fast. Let's not count our broadcast shares before they hatch....
Oregon Football Players Refuse To Lay Low For Awhile
Walk-on Matt Simms is charged with assaulting a man that he thought was responsible for stomping teammate Rob Beard last week. He was probably mistaken, but impulse control is not the Ducks' strong suit. [KVAL]...
The Holy Child Will Have To Wait A Little Longer To Begin Speaking Only In Cliches
Brilliant beacon of blinding light Bryce Harper picked up his first collegiate hit in only his second at-bat. Too bad no-one is allowed to discuss it! I haven't seen lips this tight since, like, an hour ago. [The Nationals Enquirer]...
How Gross Do You Think It Gets Inside Those Green Suits?
"I still don't know what it symbolizes, but I like it!" says the delightfully dopey announcer about these two fine fellows who have taken up residence next to the penalty box at Canucks games. I feel the same way about this website....
Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ron Borges, ladies and germs, on UZR: "I thought those were the initials of a former Russian state only to learn it means Ultimate Zone Rating." [Boston Herald]...
Dear Bill Simmons, Please Stop Feeling My Pain For Me
I know many of you find Simmons bashing a tiresome pursuit, so I will keep this as civil as I possibly can....
PRETTY BIRD! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: "Dr. Death" Steve Williams, who died of throat cancer on Dec. 29....
It's The Feud With A Combined ERA Over 5.00
Would a player intentionally suck to become a part of history? The pitcher who let Barry Bonds set the HR mark says no; his teammate says yes. Join us this week, on As The Nationals Turn....
The Backup Catcher, The NBA Journeyman's Wife, And The Gropey Grandpa
More details emerge in the arrest of Gerald Laird and his prospect brother after a drunken brawl at a Suns game. The whole thing was set off when their grandfather groped a Celtics wife. Isn't that how it always happens?...
Kentucky Back On Top...For About 36 Hours
As most of you know, Kentucky was toppled by unranked South Carolina last night, their first game as number one in the country. Some overzealous T-shirt makers look a little foolish today....
What <i>Jimmie Johnson 24/7</i> Doesn't Teach You About NASCAR (Hint: Everything)
Here's what I learned about stock car racing last night: It requires a lot of shuttle runs, garage floors are never dirty, and the people who do it live in gigantic stainless steel kitchens (which are also never dirty.)...
Just In Case There Was Any Doubt That It Was Greg Oden's Penis
The formal letters from Oden's management, BDA, have invaded the inboxes of websites across the country, including (surprise) ours. The letter is attached below. It is safe for work....
Athlete Dong: <em>Omnium-Gatherum</em> And Critical Analysis
Poor Greg Oden — his penis made him an unfortunate rising Google-trender. Of course, Oden isn't the first athlete to have his privates posted online. The Awl's Choire Sicha, Deadspin House Gay, provides commentary on sport's many peacocks....
A More Visceral, Profane Reaction To Favre's Interception
One Favre-jersey wearer, shows us what it's like to go into apoplectic shock, while his poor daughter just yelps. I get the sense he kicked something hard once the game mercifully ended. [TheScore]...
Russian 9-Year-Olds Are All Goons
An under-10 game ends in a bench-clearing brawl between the Northern Star and the Penguins (9-year-old Sidney Crosby probably had someone do his fighting for him). Per the YouTube description: "Truly a rare record the NHL not always witness."...
This Is A Thing That Happened: Digger Phelps Dancing With A Clemson Cheerleader, And Not Badly
H/T reader Joseph A. [YouTube]...
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Ascension Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Today In TMZish Sports: The Search For The Identity Of Saints Sideboob Lady Gets Serious
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....
Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Ludvig Borga
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Ludvig Borga, who died Jan. 8 of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound....