si Page 904 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Yet Another Reason Not To See <em>The Blind Side</em>
Michael Lewis, author of the book that is currently being butchered at a theater near you, reports that presidential-blowjob sleuth Ken Starr was so moved at a screening of the movie that he cried. [NYMag.com]...

Watch This, Then Go Check Your Water Supply For Drugs
No words...They should have sent a poet....

Whitlock: Mangino's Oozing Pumpkin The Root Of All His Coaching Woes
Jason Whitlock offers his funky-fresh perspective on the absurd Mark Mangino poking situation by positing that the beleaguered coach's problems could have all been avoided had he not weighed "450 to 500 pounds." Fat-on-fat crime ensues....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Body-Painted Mary Magdalene Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Last Night's Winner: Josh Pastner
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Memphis coach Josh Pastner, who didn't even win! Don't think that won't stop him from becoming college basketball's new golden boy....

Beat That, Dr. James Andrews
Arsenal striker Robin van Persie plans to treat his injured ankle by smothering it in placental fluid. Funny, because that description fairly well sums up Cristiano Ronaldo's fling with Paris Hilton. [Guardian]...

Silverdome Sold For The Price Of Two Practice Squad Players
The unused stadium went for $583,000 at auction, and could be the future home of an MLS team. That might sound cheap, but it's still 583,000 times more expensive than some other Detroit properties. [CNNMoney]...

Isiah Thomas Can't Even Lose Properly
You'd think that someone with as rich and variegated a history of failure as Isiah Thomas would have the etiquette of losing down pat. But we are speaking of Isiah Thomas here. The man is a failure even at failure....

This Guy Is Trying To Steal John Daly's Bit
And no, I'm not referring to Udorn Duangdecha getting his stomach stapled and surviving solely on Diet Coke and cigarettes - check out those slacks. Crap, they're so loud that Marlee Matlin heard him trying them on. [Devil Ball Golf]...

I Bet The Graphics Guy Who Cropped Indiana's Logo This Way Feels Like A Boob
Heh. Tit. And for those of you worried about this warping our young people, it has already been changed to a less-offensive image. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make "BOOBLESS" appear on my calculator. (Thanks, reader Josh)...

And Now A Selection From Tim McCarver's "Great American Songbook" Remixed
During the MLB playoffs, Fox baseball analyst extraordinaire Tim McCarver released a CD of him crooning through jaunty Cole Porter-style songs without a smidge of irony. We had grand plans for this. Some fell through, but one miraculously worked out....

The One Where The Texas Rangers Inform Us Their Six-Shooters Are Not Whores
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

LeBron James Pays Fitting Tribute To Jordan, Gives Fans New Overpriced Jersey To Buy
LeBron plans to surrender his No. 23 in MJ's honor. The real tribute here is less in the number change than in the shrewd business sense to introduce some No. 6 LeBron merch a month before Christmas....

You Are Not The Cosmos: A Review Of Bill Simmons's <em>Book Of Basketball</em>
You've read Will Leitch's essay about the Sports Guy. Now here's Charles P. Pierce, sportswriter and author, with a somewhat different take. UPDATE: A year later, Simmons responded to this review by scrubbing two mentions of Pierce from the paperback edition. More here....

NFL Mercifully Ends Stupidest Product Placement Ever
Philly's Brent Celek was fined 15 yards for an idiotic TD celebration Sunday, when he raised his right leg just like the doofuses in those Captain Morgan commercials. And yep, the awful rum maker was behind the whole thing....

IceGators Coach Defends His Stick Throwing Temper Tantrum
Brent Sapergia says throwing all his team's equipment on the ice wasn't a stunt. He was just really, really mad! (Says the refs weren't looking out for his players.) Tough, but fair. [Puck Daddy]...

You'd Lose Your Mind Too, If You Had To Coach Hockey In Louisiana
Brent Sapergia only lasted two games as coach of the Louisiana IceGators, but he made them count—getting thrown out of both and making himself internet famous with an epic, bench-clearing temper tantrum....

SEC Refs Are Afraid Of Technology. Like, 1990s Technology.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

He Got You, My Pretty
Former Wisconsin Badger Darin Schubring lost a bar fight was sucker-punched by a man wearing a Flying Monkey costume. That's slightly more embarrassing than being referred to, 25 years later, as "Baraboo local legend." But only slightly. [Baraboo News Republic]...

And Here's One Of The People Who Helped Establish Bill Simmons
Count Courtney Cummz as one of those of Us who've had their life altered by the plucky wit and sporty wisdom of Sports Fella through the years. Yes, Courtney works in the adult entertainment industry. How could you tell? (NSFW)...