si Page 928 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Boston Guys: This Woman Could Be Your Wife One Day
There's something so calming about this dimwitted lady's Sisyphean trudge up the down-side of the escalator, undeterred by science, or the thousands of annoyed Bruins fans in her path....

Massachusetts Girls Soccer Coach Resigns Over Hilarious, Possibly Insane Email
If George Patton had coached a girls soccer team, he probably would have run things this way; only without so many references to red meat. Meet Michael Kinahan, ex-coach of the Scituate, Mass. Green Death....

This Lucky Lady Might Be The Person Riding In Tim Tebow's Sidecar
But who knows! Is she just an amorous fan? A waitress? A cousin? A young woman in need of a circumcision? It's a mystery that's sure to cause Gainesville's single ladies to hyperventilate. [TheBigLead]...

Woman Somehow Resists Kurt Angle Love Sonnet
You're forgiven if you've forgotten that Kurt Angle was once a serious athlete. In addition to being a championship college grappler, he won a gold medal in freestyle wrestling at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics....

Well Why Even Bother Playing The Season Now?
Yankees installed as 9/2 favorites to win World Series, followed by Red Sox (11/2), Cubs (8/1) and, wait for it ... New York Mets (8/1). And your MVP is Mark Teixeira. [Bodog Life.com]...

Siena's Drunk, Rowdy Fans Are Not Welcome Back To Ohio
The Siena Saints pulled off one of the more memorable wins over Ohio State in the NCAA tournament this year, but the behavior of their fans didn't do anything to endear themselves to local Ohioans....

North Carolina Meets Oklahoma In A Test Of Round Ball Athletic Skill
And so it comes down to this: Your success in the office pool hinges on one man, as it always does. Time for Roy Williams, Destroyer of Dreams, Eater of $10 bills. [Sporting News]...

Findlay, Ohio Now The Nexus Of The Basketball Universe
Tyler Evans hits a 3-pointer at the buzzer, while falling down, to give Findlay a 56-53 win over Cal Poly Pomona for the Division II men's championship. Go Oilers!...

Your Yankee Superfandom Is Not Welcome
Interesting story about the paranoid corporate buffoonery of the Yankees who decided that novelist Jane Heller's "Confessions of a She-Fan" was "too controversial" to be a part of the Yankees' Opening Day commemorative program....

Get Away From Me, Alan Cutler
There are still reverberations from yesterday's Billy Gillispie firing, but there's nothing more telling about the misguided lunacy that is UK basketball than watching a television reporter chase Gillispie through the Joe Craft center....

More Sweet Sixteen Duan: Discuss Your Brackets, Make Out With An Avatar, Type Insulting Things About Your Mothers
Louisville/Arizona are starting...now! For those of you with Friday night plans to watch the games, tipple, rip, and sniff here's the spot for you. And stop leering — she's 16, for god sakes!...

More Thinking Outside The Box From The NFL Meetings
The NFL "is exploring the possibility of having sponsor logos worn unobtrusively on practice jerseys." For the Bengals I suggest Chico's Bail Bonds. [USA Today]...

And Here's Your Sweet Sixteen Duan: Talk About The Games, Life, Your Unemployment, The Sexual Inadequacy Of Your Current Girlfriend...
I typed in many variations of "sixteen" and "sweet sixteen" and either candles or Miley Cyrus popped up. Or some DJ entertainment companies. I went with Miley....

Use All Of These You Want, You're Not Going To Help Sabathia
As is befitting a team with a mascot named Thunder, the Lake Elsinore Storm (Class A, California League) is giving out free samples of Subtle Butt anti-fart shields at their weekly all-you-can-eat Tuesday home games....

Rumors Of Isiah Thomas To Clippers' Front Office Send NASDAQ Plummeting Record 230 Points
Isiah Thomas, seeking a front-office job, has talked with Clippers owner Donald Sterling several times; most recently last month. I see no way such a thing can possibly fail. [ESPN]...

Meanwhile, On The Kensington Expressway ...
Bills vandals fans welcome Terrell Owens in their unique way. He should be in town eight times this season, so hopefully he'll see this....

Schilling Finally Talks About His Retirement ... On A Video Game Site
Pitcher waited for Game Developers Conference in San Francisco to announce his decision, because he didn't want to deal with "the phone ringing off the hook. It was just a natural fit." [Sports Radio Interviews.com]...

Has There Ever Been Bulletin Board Material In College Tennis?
The Miami Hurricanes men's tennis program has a match against UVA this Friday and to commemorate it, they've decided to throw a happy hour party party for all their fans....

Volleyball Fainter Is Fine, Thanks For Asking
Watching Nikki Allen, USC's director of volleyball operations, talk...stagger...sway...timmm-ber!...is a vintage YouTubian moment which will undoubtedly follow her around for years. Thankfully, she's fine — she was just a little nervous and jet-lagged....

You Should See The Lingerie Department
Say that you're a low-level pro soccer player in Italy, and a fashion designer offers to let you live in a luxury apartment for free. One catch: It's in the storefront window of a boutique....