si Page 984 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Parlay O' the Week
Amateur athletics and gambling go together like bacon and hot fudge. Each weekend I will share some of my valuable college football gambling wisdom with you, the reader. Just remember, most of said "wisdom" comes from years of losing ridiculously speculative bets; when you lose all your money don't ...

The One Day A Year I Wish I Was In Jacksonville
• 12:00 — Ponies: Breeders' Cup World Thoroughbred Championships [ESPN] • 12:00 — CFB: Michigan St. at Iowa [ESPN] • 12:00 — CFB: West Virginia at Rutgers[ABC] • 2:00 — Movie: The Fifth Element [TNT] • 2:30 — Movie: Psycho [AMC] • 3:00 — Movie: Bottle Rocket [HDNTM] • 3:30 — CFB: Clemson at Maryland...

Dennis Miller is Coming And It Seems There's Nothing We Can Do About It
Hey there kemosabe it's me, Dennis Miller. While it's true that I've had more shows than the original Broadway run of Cats, I really don't see how one more is going to hurt. Hair plugs aren't cheap, OK babe? So pull up a footstool and check out the promo for my latest offering, Sports Unfiltered wi...


Which City Has The Ugliest People?
It's a question which has tortured us since we first read it about an hour ago: Which city has the ugliest people? Actually, this survey conducted by CNN News and Travel & Leisure Magazine is not confined to sports fans; it lists the cities with the ugliest residents overall. There were several cate...

Put That Remote Down Right Now, Or So Help Me
Non Football TV 12 noon — Women's Volleyball: Ohio State at Wisconsin [ESPN2] 12 noon — F1 Racing: Brazilian Grand Prix [Speed] 12 noon — Movie: Monsters, Inc. [Disney] 1:00 p.m. — PBA Bowling: Dydo Japan Cup [ESPN] 1:30 p.m. — Nextel Cup: Subway 500, Martinsville, Virginia [ABC] 3:00 p.m. — AST Dew...

Steinbrenner and Isiah Share A Secret Gay Lover (Allegedly)
I was about to go on this long rant about how ESPN keeps discussing the New York Yankees throughout the ALCS, but as soon as I saw the latest Jonathan Lee Riches lawsuit on The Smoking Gun, I quickly retracted my sentiments. Riches, who you may remember from such frivolous lawsuits as "Bill Belichic...

ESPN Fills Badly Needed Smart-Alecky Middle-Aged White Guy Quota
A couple days ago, Boss casually wondered how Rick Reilly would handle working alongside Dan Patrick at Sports Illustrated. I suppose taking his old job is the logical reaction....

Isiah Thomas Remains A Genius
This is a few days old, but we can't let it pass unremarked. It appears Isiah Thomas has the same firm grasp of his roster as he always has....

Live Blogging The Torre Press Conference
In a perfect, imaginary universe, Joe Torre would just go off today. His press conference, which is starting any minute now, will most likely feature Torre looking bemused and tired, giving "his side" of the story....

Two Pair Not A Winning Hand In Kansas
Oh yes we've got trouble! Right here in Salina Kansas! With a capital T and that rhymes with B and that stands for boobs! Here are Salina Central High seniors Jessica Sheahon and Haley Wenthe, modeling salacious T-shirt designs which have been banned from their high school campus. The entire notion ...

Jerry Jones Can't Figure Out This Damn Spacebar
Via Touchdown.org comes one of the more amusing attempts by a professional sports franchise to master the series of tubes that is the Internets....

This Ain't Over
Don't be confused everyone, it's me, Unsilent Majority. I'm filling in tonight because Will was delayed in his travels or he just doesn't love you anymore...the text message wasn't entirely clear on that matter....

ESPN Anchors Feel The Burn
You know, we always imagined that Richard Simmons just hung out in Bristol all the time, sort of an unofficial mascot. We imagine him fetching Nachos for Van Pelt and really getting on Trey Wingo's nerves....

Dan Patrick Finds Place To Peddle His Wares
We know you've been dying to find out the next move for Dan Patrick. He's got his national radio show now, his Web site and, hopefully, more Applebee's commercials with barbecue sauce all over himself. (Or whatever crappy chain restaurant that was; they all blend into one for us.) Well, Patrick has ...

When Assimilation Goes Wrong: Negro NASCAR
You may remember The Assimilated Negro from his Negro Bowl I coverage for us last year. He returns to us to discuss NASCAR's odd decision to try to Negro-ize their sport....

Derek Jeter > Daniel LaRusso?
Yesterday's Derek Jeter post got me a little nostalgic for the greatest teenage karate movie ever made, and I wasn't really sure why. Until just now....

Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights
The E-Ticket section on ESPN.com has always been one of the stronger elements of the site, and the show, while occasionally lapsing into the same soft-focus weeper segments that permeate Chris Connelly's "reports," trades off it well. Jeremy Schaap's Cecil Fielder story was fascinating; it was hard ...