si Page 993 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
ESPN Anchors Feel The Burn
You know, we always imagined that Richard Simmons just hung out in Bristol all the time, sort of an unofficial mascot. We imagine him fetching Nachos for Van Pelt and really getting on Trey Wingo's nerves....
Dan Patrick Finds Place To Peddle His Wares
We know you've been dying to find out the next move for Dan Patrick. He's got his national radio show now, his Web site and, hopefully, more Applebee's commercials with barbecue sauce all over himself. (Or whatever crappy chain restaurant that was; they all blend into one for us.) Well, Patrick has ...
When Assimilation Goes Wrong: Negro NASCAR
You may remember The Assimilated Negro from his Negro Bowl I coverage for us last year. He returns to us to discuss NASCAR's odd decision to try to Negro-ize their sport....
Derek Jeter > Daniel LaRusso?
Yesterday's Derek Jeter post got me a little nostalgic for the greatest teenage karate movie ever made, and I wasn't really sure why. Until just now....
Witness Bill Simmons In Tight Tight Tights
The E-Ticket section on ESPN.com has always been one of the stronger elements of the site, and the show, while occasionally lapsing into the same soft-focus weeper segments that permeate Chris Connelly's "reports," trades off it well. Jeremy Schaap's Cecil Fielder story was fascinating; it was hard ...
David Boston Will Attack You With Comfortable Pillows
Poor David Boston. A Pro Bowl receiver with the Cardinals in 2001, he's dogged by injuries and bounces around to three other teams, tests positive for steroids, then is nabbed for DUI. And now the worst of all misdeeds: Domestic cushion assault....
The Journalists Is Smart And Diligent
How absurd has the the Kobe Bryant story become? There was a rather large media kerfuffle at Lakers practice yesterday revolving around whether or not Kobe had cleaned out his locker. It turned out that he hadn't cleaned out his locker; he had merely cleaned it. Say what you will about the status of...
It's True: The Red Sox Have Become The Yankees
The kewpie doll this morning goes to commenters Chad Sexington (who provided us with this wonderfully ironic photo (and this animated GIF) and, especially, Fiddling While Jim Rome Burns, who came up with a theory that just might explain what's happening to the Red Sox right now. He calls it The Keki...
About Last Night
What you missed while taking care of business, Scarlet Knights style ... • MLB: Manny flap helps Byrd, Indians to 3-1 ALCS lead. • NHL: No, Anze Kopitar is the real Purple Jesus! Kings 4, Wild 3. • NBA: Another day, another exhibition game flagrant foul ejection....
To Watch Tonight
Forget it, nothing will wipe this from your mind ... • MLB: American League Championship Series, Game 3, Boston at Cleveland [Fox]; National League Championship Series, Game 4, Arizona at Colorado [TBS]. Man, is Jesus going to be peeved when the Diamondbacks come back and win this thing. • NFL: N.Y....
Kelvin Sampson Is At It Again
Forgive us a moment of Illini "outrage" here, but Indiana coach Kelvin Sampson, the guy who bolted Oklahoma after making improper phone calls to recruits that ended up putting the school on probation, is at it again in Bloomington....
Quincy Carter Hits Bottom Again
Once again our Arena League II fantasy team has been thrown into disarray with the news that Quincy Carter has been arrested on drug-related charges. As you know, Carter most recently played for the AFL's minor league Bossier-Shreveport Battle Wings, but now resides in the Caddo Correctional Center ...
It's Scary Down There In Baton Rouge
Last weekend, the genius that is Orson Swindle at Every Day Should Be Saturday attended the Florida-LSU game in Baton Rouge. We've never been to an SEC football game, but, man, do we want to now. We've never heard a better description of the madness of college football Saturday in the South than thi...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trading hot dog recipes with Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) ... • NHL: Carolina at Toronto. Rooting for Jason Blake will not be hard at all. [Versus] • Boxing: Hasim (Chop!) Rahman vs. Taurus (Bill) Sykes, heavyweights, at Rochster, NY. Taped from previous bout. [Versus] • College fo...
The Los Angeles Angels of Sucktown
Well I was going to wait for this baseball game to end to call it a weekend, but I think it's safe to say that it's over. The Boston Red Sox have exploded with seven runs in the eighth inning to take a 9-0 lead. The only runs that really mattered were the back-to-back solo shots from Big Papi and C...
Gamblers Can Finally Take a Deep Breath
New England was up ten when they went for it on 4th and Goal late in the game. For someone like me, with fair amount of money invested in a 17 point spread (or 16.5 if you were lucky), this is where things got nutty. Just as it looked that Cleveland would run out the clock (if Romeo can't win he can...
Bob Ryan Is Drunk On Basebahol
I've always had a soft-spot for Bob Ryan. Oftentimes I disagree with the guy, but I love the way he puts himself out there (like with Juwanna Joumanna Kidd!). I want you to know that I respect Mr. Ryan and I wouldn't every want to unfairly malign the man. But either the Fenway press box was pouring...