si Page 993 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What's Bill Simmons Working On?
At the end of another of his mammoth chats yesterday, prodigal Sports Guy Bill Simmons made an odd announcement....

Jared Allen Knows Why He's Famous
Kansas City Chiefs defensive end Jared Allen tends to have a little bit of trouble with the whole "drive, then drink, rather than the other way around" thing. He had three DUI arrests in the span of four years, and he'll miss the first four games this season thanks to an NFL suspension....

Tanner Boyle Says Fox Can Take Their Trophy And Stick It Up Their BLEEP
So you want to join in the discussion on the Fox message boards, but you're not sure if you'll be able to call someone a "dipshit" if it's warranted? Sure, it's a dilemma we all face. But now the mighty Fox Network gives you two choices with their blogs, story comments and message boards: Spicy, and...

When Fabricated Quotes Are Taken Out Of Context
Yesterday, I mentioned in the Blogdome about how a sports talk radio show made a crucial mistake none of us seasoned sports blog readers ever do: take an Every Day Should Be Saturday post seriously. Continuing this trend, Sports Illustrated appeared to have taken a satirical riff on the NBA Draft di...



Today, A Victory For America
We just returned from Joey Chestnut's world record breaking performance at the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championship, and, to be entirely honest with you, we're not sure when we've had more fun at a sporting event. Full report tomorrow ... but as for now ... USA! USA! USA! Nobody eats like us!...

Vote Neshek, Everybody!
Twins reliever Pat Neshek is having a rather outstanding year, with an ERA at 1.37 and pitching in that submarine way we always find charming. He's actually one of the five finalists for the last American League All-Star spot, voted on by fans on MLB.com. And he's unleashing his secret weapon to bri...

Les Miles Needs To Work On His Sarcastic Rants
If you're going to start ripping people, Les Miles, go all the way. That way Every Day Should Be Saturday wouldn't have to step in and pick up the slack with some writer's embellishment, turning what was some mildly interesting radio content into something truly memorable. The LSU football coach was...

Viva Le Patterson!
After visiting four doctors in four states to cure a problem that could be affecting his livelihood, a man, desperate, decides to head to Canada to receive treatment that the arcane American health care system can't provide for him....

Please Do Not Protest Bonds In Sign Form
Now that San Francisco Chronicle reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams aren't going to jail for their stories about Barry Bonds, they're getting awfully cocky: They're now exposing the Orwellian practice of shutting down anti-Bonds signs at baseball stadiums....


Hey, Aramis Ramirez Hit A Home—YeeeeeOW!
The high-five being replaced with the prostate-massage ... long, long, overdue. But if this Cubs winning streaks goes much longer, I shudder to think of what's going to start happening in that dugout. Bat boys are going to have to be replaced with jizzmoppers....

Seriously, Would It Kill You To Sexually Arouse Dick Bavetta?
Isiah Thomas, after stealing Zach Randolph and being complimented by Spike Lee on draft night, enjoyed one day of good publicity. Today, Anucha Browne Sanders, who is suing Isiah for sexual harassment, would like to remind us that Isiah is, in many ways, still a dick....

That's How You Note An Achievement
We have to say, it's pretty awesome that on the night each of them reached a career milestone that assured they will be in Hall of Fame, Frank Thomas and Craig Biggio did something stupid/embarrassing within a matter of minutes....

Happy Birthday To The Madmen At KSK
This graphic, whipped up by the great twoeightnine at With Leather, signifies a historic anniversary today: The folks at Kissing Suzy Kolber are celebrating their one-year birthday today. It's rather amazing to think it has just been a year since they spawned; they legitimately made last year's most...

Getting Drunk With The Draft And Simmons
As we watch Chad Ford do his absolute best Bill Simmons impression while mock-drafting with the Sports Fella — "Taking Oden is like marrying the girl you don't want to date, but the girl you want to spend the rest of your life with!" — we look forward to tomorrow night's NBA Draft. (Which will be li...

Arenas And Durant, Like Burns And Allen
You just know he insisted on that, and that he practiced in a mirror for months to get it exactly right....

The Exact Human Opposite Of Jim Nantz
Ron Jaworski? Please. This is your new MNF foil for Kornheiser....