side Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ohio Recovers Onside Kick Booted Off Opposing Receiver's Helmet
What’s that? You want some MACtion? Oh, I’ll give you MACtion. The Ohio Bobcats had just scored a touchdown in the final minute of the second quarter to tie it up 24-24 with Kent State. Ohio kicker Michael Farkas, schooled in the ways of physics, hit Kent State wide receiver Isaac Vance right in the...
Gross, Someone Let Their Cat Puke In The Stanley Cup
There’s a long and storied history of NHL players putting gross shit in the Stanley Cup in the offseason after they win it all. But whoever let their cat vomit up this hairy this mound of flesh-colored puke into the Cup yesterday owes everybody an apology. In the past, the trophy’s been filled with...
The Onside Kick Is Dead. Here’s How To Fix It.
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Let Me Explain This Hilarious Cycling Scandal To You
Let us now chronicle the rise and sort-of fall of British YouTuber and now-former national e-cycling champion Cameron Jeffers. Unfortunately, the nouns in this story do not become that much easier to understand as we proceed, but please bear with me....
Poor Rays Sideline Reporter Keeps Getting Absolutely Soaked In Celebratory Postgame Alcohol
I suppose this is one of those good problems, but it’s still a problem! Fox Sports Florida sideline reporter Tricia Whitaker keeps getting mercilessly drenched by celebrating Rays players, who seem to view live postgame interviews as opportunities to dump truly gargantuan quantities of beer and cham...
Down A Hole: The Missing Scenes Of <i>Donald J. Trump's Fabulous World Of Golf</i>
There are currently two cable news networks devoted to celebrating and defending Donald Trump. Both are widely watched by the most distraught elderly people in the United States, including the president himself, and Trump has made a point of involving various personalities from that network—haunted ...
This Guy Truly Has No Idea What He's Talking About
It is a problem for President Donald Trump that it’s often impossible to tell what the hell he’s talking about. This is not one of those signature Trump defects that can readily be spun into a secret strength or as a subtle bit of advanced dealcraft that only experts and initiates can appreciate. H...
Donald Trump: We Love Bill Belichick, Don't We, And Also Curing AIDS?
There are two versions of President Donald Trump that appear in public. They both inhabit the same body—the same Youppi-shaped torso pitched forward at the same implausible angles, same ghost-pale eyelids fluttering alarmingly, same resplendent candyfloss Kangol of hair stuck on top of it like a wei...
Donald Trump Is Not Going To Let This Hurricane Thing Go
It can be difficult to remember given that he routinely appears on television with toilet paper on the soles of both his shoes and at least one of his hands stuck in a big jug of peanut butter, but Donald Trump’s opening position in all things is that he has never been wrong. He has been wronged, an...
Check Out Tom Brady And His Stupid Hat
Check out Tom Brady’s stupid hat! He wore it last night after the Patriots’ 10-3 preseason win over the Panthers. It’s a nice big hat, one that might protect you from the sun’s harmful rays. Unfortunately for Tom, he wore the hat indoors at 10:30 at night. Tom Brady’s sold monorails to Brockway, Ogd...
Deadspin Up All Night: Nuclear Dicks With Dialect Drawls
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. The good news is we’re extremely hard to kill. ...
Look At This Weird Thing Donald Trump Just Belched Up<i></i>
In March, a young whale beached itself in Davao City, in the Philippines. When scientists from the local museum—it is, delightfully, called D’Bone Collector Natural History Museum—did a necropsy on the whale after its death, they discovered that it had starved to death because its stomach contained...
The Big President Is Now Wet
Donald Trump goes by many names, but none is more apt than “the Big Wet President,” coined by our David Roth. The second adjective gets at a spiritual if not literal truth: the leader of the free world is always just kind of limply flopping around, even if he rarely glistens in an actual coat of mo...
Outside The Lines has a stunning story about about Olympic hurdler and longtime track coach Conrad Mainwaring, who now stands accused of molesting 41 boys who he trained over the last 44 years. His alleged crimes were brought to light in part because some of his victims found each other in the comme...
A List Of Suggested Public Editors For Deadspin
Deadspin is currently in the process of reporting a story on its owners, an exercise that we’ve done in the past to varying degrees. In a total coincidence, the folks in charge have started pushing for a “public editor” to ensure that all future articles that may include reporting on ourselves would...
Yuli Gurriel Can't Stop Smashing Dingers
Astros first baseman Yuli Gurriel is on a remarkable run. Coming into Tuesday night he’d crushed 11 home runs in 17 games in July, including six over the course of five games* to open the month. That’s two more homers in three weeks than he’d hit in the other three whole months of the season. Tuesda...
Tommy La Stella's Blessed Season Continues With Leadoff Inside-The-Park Dinger
It is now late June, which means if you can’t at least feign excitement about a leadoff inside-the-park home run in an interleague baseball game, you are staring down a summer of relatively slim pickings, VAR-marred World Cup soccer notwithstanding. Please, before you reduce yourself to hunting for ...
Verizon Media Group CEO Praises Yahoo Sports' Important Coverage, Like This Syndicated Wire Story
Verizon Media Group CEO K. Guru Gowrappan began his memo to staff today by praising Yahoo Sports for writing a story on the theme of the Women’s World Cup: equity. It was a nice thought, but Yahoo Sports didn’t even write that story....
Donald Trump Wants This More Than Anything
Donald Trump’s taste is difficult to describe. You know it when you see it, but that’s not quite the same thing as knowing what it is. If you’re looking at a tufted velvet settee that looks like one of Michael Jackson’s bedazzled military-style blazers from the Dangerous tour, you are looking at So...