side Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Czar Of The Telestrator Has His Own Custom-Branded Chocolate Bars
The Inside The NBA hosts swapped holiday gifts at the end of last night's show, with a special gift to the show's staff from longtime coach and analyst Mike Fratello. Not only does the logo in these extra-large chocolate bars bear the Czar's moniker, but look closely and you'll see there's an actua...

Josh Brent Won't Be Allowed On The Cowboys' Sideline For The Rest Of The Season
Josh Brent is facing charges of intoxication manslaughter from the Dec. 8 car crash that killed teammate Jerry Brown. But on Sunday, there he was, standing on the sideline for the Cowboys' game against the Steelers. Brent's teammates wanted him there, and they had been encouraged by Brown's mother. ...

"Take That Nigger Off The TV, We Wanna Watch Football!": Idiots Respond To NBC Pre-Empting <em>Sunday Night Football</em>
NBC pre-empted the first quarter of tonight’s 49ers-Patriots game to show President Obama’s speech at the Newtown memorial for victims of the Sandy Hook shooting. As you might expect, many football fans didn’t take kindly to this. (So, too, some Bob’s Burgers fans.) Here are those idiots, led by so...

Ronjohn Dadd Was Robbed: <em>Inside Lacrosse's</em> All-Name Team Is Here
It's that time of year again. Inside Lacrosse has once again blessed us with its annual all-name team, compiling a list of the preppiest-named lax bros in the country. This year's list is an impressive one, and once again includes a collection of aristocratically named female players. We do have on...

How To Make A Thanksgiving Side Dish: A Guide For Slackers And Overgrown Children
So Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and if you're lucky, somebody the hell else is hosting it. Lost amid all the talk in recent years of various turkey-cooking methods—the relative merits of roasting versus deep-frying; whether to brine the bird or cook it upside down or baste it every few f...

Christian Ponder Says To Lay Off His ESPN Girlfriend, She's Not The Reason He's Struggling
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Leave Samantha Steele out of it....

The Grierson & Leitch Endorsements: Our Best Movie Presidents
In the spirit of Election Day, we here at Grierson & Leitch headquarters have decided to do our own formal endorsements. These are our full-throated endorsements of the cinematic candidates who have shown they have the fortitude and judgment to lead this great land....

A Brief History Of Sports In Political Cartoons
For generations, editorial cartoonists have been boiling down complicated political issues to visual gags—and perhaps more often than with any other field, have turned to sports metaphors to make their points....

Here Are The Highlights Of Chris Berman's Interviews With President Obama And Mitt Romney
Last night's Monday Night Football was no oasis from politics for sports fans, as ESPN repeated its performance from 2008 and had the major candidates for president appear during halftime for a conversation with Chris Berman. Berman, who continues to somehow blackmail Vince Doria into letting him...

Who Are The Computers Voting For? We Ask Siri And Others For Advice
I'm about to go vote, and I haven't read up much on the issues. I don't know which candidate loves America more or who has the bigger penis. So I asked the only objective sources I could find: computers. In case you're still on the fence, I've copied their advice below. ...

Jay Cutler's Press Conference Was The Chicago Fox Affiliate's Presidential Debate Highlight
It was a busy night last night for WFLD, the Chicago Fox affiliate. Just after the station finished airing Game 7 of the NLCS, there was the Bears game and the presidential debate to go over. But what better debate highlight was there than a live shot of Jay Cutler's press conference? Cutler was r...

Florida Gators Coach Will Muschamp Can't Control The VOLUME OF HIS VOICE
The Florida Gators put a beating on South Carolina yesterday in what many expected to be the marquee match-up of the day. At halftime, the Gators were up 21-6, so local radio might reasonably have expected a positive and mellow interview from a pleasantly surprised Florida coach....

Dolphins Center Mike Pouncey's Newest Tattoo: Teardrop Andrew Jackson, Trollface Ulysses S. Grant, And Old West Bank Robber Ben Franklin
You have to admire the commitment to civic-mindedness, history, and patriotism, but that is one ugly tattoo. We do like giving Andrew Jackson the teardrop tattoo—a tattoo within a tattoo, probably symbolic of Old Hickory's involvement with the Indian Removal Act of 1830 that set in motion the Trail ...

Gregg Popovich Can't Help Being A Jerk When Courtside Reporters Ask Him Stupid Questions
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Pop's wife gets on him for it, too....

How NHL Interference Forced One Of The Game's Best Reporters Out Of Hockey
Rich Hammond covered the Kings for the Los Angeles Daily News for nearly a decade, becoming known as one of the most respected writers in the sport—even in a town with Helene Elliott. But hockey being hockey, and dying newspapers being dying newspapers, the Daily News decided it was no longer cost-e...

"Team Obama Loses Early Wicket": The Romney-Obama Debate Was Like Every Sport Conceivable, According To Internet
The debate Wednesday could be compared to many things—a slow dance in which the partners are holding potato peelers to each other's throats, perhaps, or a restaurant in which you, the diner, get to watch a prep cook slow-spit on your burger before it's served—but of course everyone immediately turne...

No One Gives A Shit What The Coach Told You At Halftime, Michele Tafoya
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season....

Here's ESPN Sideline Reporter Lewis Johnson Interviewing A Statue Of A Pig
Only the latest entry in the recent tradition of sideline reporters "interviewing" animals or objects that, because they are not possessed of human intelligence, cannot respond to any questions. Background: that's a statue, and Lewis Johnson is a person, and he asks it questions, and it remains co...

Excerpts From The Recent <em>Outside</em> Magazine Story That Make Lance Armstrong Look Like An Asshole
Yesterday, the factions of the internet that have strong opinions about Lance Armstrong were aflutter after Outside magazine published an essay penned by Mike Anderson, a one-time member of Lance Armstrong's inner circle. It's a doozy, and we encourage you to read the whole thing. But in the interes...

Chelsea Beats Reading Thanks To Ludicrous Blown Offside Call
Chelsea dashed the dreams of an upset-minded Reading when a clearly offside Fernando Torres broke through to give the Blues a lead today at Stamford Bridge they wouldn't relinquish....