soccer Page 115 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Series Of Cascading Errors Gifts Panama A Nice Lil' Goal
Panama have a chance to knock Chile out of the Copa America and join their CONCACAF friends (USA and Mexico) in the quarterfinals if they beat Chile this evening. Thanks to a terrible pass by a center back and some fumbling goalkeeping work, they got an early lead against the Chileans....
Cristiano Ronaldo Is Not Mad. This Is Actually Funny To Him.
Underwear mogul/ab demon Cristiano Ronaldo and his Portuguese teammates opened their Euro 2016 campaign against Iceland today. It was the tiny island’s first European Championship game ever, and they managed to come from behind and tie Portugal, 1-1. Portugal had 27 shots, 10 on goal, and 66 percent...
No One Understands Soccer's Rules, And That's A Problem
In training last week I nicked a player from behind in an 8v8 game, he fell to the ground, and we scored off the turnover. Our coach, acting as referee from the sideline, asked if I fouled him. I always have the natural instinct to say no chance; there’s no asterisk next to a W in the results column...
Sepp Blatter Dishes On Hot Balls Scandal
Sepp Blatter’s FIFA was a world-historically corrupt organization that sold away World Cups and ran all sorts of illegal-ass schemes until the Justice Department shut them down and he got replaced by a new, not entirely different president. Even though he’s widely reviled (or held up, depending on h...
Venezuela Scissor Kick Their Way Ahead Of Mexico
Venezuela and Mexico are both going to advance to the quarterfinals of the Copa America, but the winner gets to avoid Argentina, so both teams have plenty to play for. The Venezuelans struck first and took a 1-0 lead thanks to José Velázquez going all upside down and smashing it past José Corona....
What Are Your Favorite Official Team Anthems?
Spain released their official Euro 2016 song, and it’s everything you could possibly hope for. It’s catchy as all hell—I’ve been singing España ey ey, cantamos gol gol to myself all day—features a verse sung by the heavily Andalusian-accented Sergio Ramos, and as a bonus both Pique and Juanfran look...
Gareth Bale's Gorgeous Free Kick Gives Wales 1-0 Lead
Wales are up 1-0 on Slovakia early in their first match of Euro 2016, thanks to this marvelous free kick goal by Gareth Bale. It’s not as good as Messi’s last night, but it’s close....
![UEFA Claim That The Euro 2016 Mascot Is Not A Sex Toy [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/ogfan7ptrxczlevnrfdk.jpg)
UEFA Claim That The Euro 2016 Mascot Is Not A Sex Toy [NSFW]
That’s Super Victor, the mascot of Euro 2016! Hi, buddy! He’s cute, huh? Kinda like Ness from Super Smash Bros. What a nice mascot, let’s Google him to find out more information!...
Luis Suárez Threw Himself A Temper Tantrum And I Can't Really Blame Him
Uruguay are in big trouble at the Copa America after dropping their opener to Mexico, 3-1 on Sunday, then falling 1-0 to Venezuela this evening. They only managed to out one shot on frame tonight, and striker Edinson Cavani was awful. He is Uruguay’s best healthy attacker (more on that in a second) ...
This Gyasi Zardes Lowlight Reel Is Very Rude And Very Funny
United States forward Gyasi Zardes has quickly established himself as one of Jürgen Klinsmann’s favorite attackers, racking up five goals and 26 caps in his first two years with the national team. He’s a perfectly fine runner and finisher, but good lord, his first touch looks like he’s playing socce...
James Rodríguez Might Fuck Around And Win The Copa América By Himself
Because this 100 year anniversary version of the Copa América hosted in the U.S. is widely understood as the made-up, money-scrounging ruse that it is, there are only a select few teams that have both the talent and the motivation to go out and win the thing....
The USMNT Is Getting Hot At Exactly The Right Time
After the USMNT lost 2-0 to Colombia last Friday, Jürgen Klinsmann was as optimistic as any coach will ever be after a scoreless tournament-opening loss. He told reporters he was “absolutely okay” with how his team played, and even said, “There was no difference besides the two goals.” While the exp...
U.S. Soccer Boss Hints Trump Presidency Could Cost U.S. The World Cup
Donald Trump—one of the gremlins from Gremlins, but racist—is most likely going to be the nominee of the Republican party. As outlandish as his political takes are, and as favored as his likely opponent is, there’s a legit shot he becomes the next president of the United States. One effect of a Trum...
The USMNT Needs To Go Young Or Die
The United States Men’s National Team will open the Copa America Centenario—a wonderfully entertaining Frankentournament that the U.S. is hosting only through sheer force of corruption—with a match against Colombia tonight in Santa Clara, Calif. Colombia is the shit. They could have taken down Brazi...
Judge Rules USWNT Must Abide By No-Strike Clause
A federal judge ruled Friday that the United States Women’s National Team is bound by a no-strike clause, ruling out the possibility of a strike before or during the upcoming Rio Olympics....
FIFA Reveals $80 Million In Probably Illegal Payments, Headquarters Raided Again
FIFA headquarters in Zurich, Switzerland, were raided yesterday by police, as they sought evidence that former top FIFA officials Sepp Blatter, Jerome Valcke, Markus Kattner illegally awarded themselves $80 million in pay raises and bonuses, AP reports. Blatter and Valcke were previously banned from...
David Alaba Scored Just The Dumbest Own Goal
Transitioning from a bunch of Champions League games and a cup final to a relatively placid friendly against Malta can be a shock to the system. Rarely, however, does it result in such a hilarious, dumb own goal, like the one Bayern Munich star David Alaba scored on his own team this afternoon....
Good God, Look At What Dimitri Payet's Done This Time
Reigning king of the free kick Dimitri Payet showed off his craft again today in a friendly against Cameroon, delivering France the victory with this screamer....
Mike Francesa Is Very Annoyed That <i>Sports Illustrated</i> Put Lionel Messi On Its Cover
If Mike Francesa’s visceral disdain for soccer didn’t come through clear enough when he stumbled his way through a simple MLS ad read last week, today’s rant aimed at SI for their decision to dedicate the mag’s cover to Lionel Messi and a big portion of its coverage (specifically, as Mike discovers:...