soccer Page 236 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Concussed Cyclist Doesn't Remember Finishing Yesterday's Stage Of The Tour De France
Your morning roundup for July 9, the day Detroit teaches us to respect the crackheads who walk among us....
Seven Wonderful Minutes Of An Older Argentinian Man Yelling At His Soccer Match On TV
No Spanish knowledge is required to enjoy this one. Some feelings are universal. Although it may help to know the meaning of the oft-used phrase: "la puta que te pario."...
Qatar May Be Too Hot To Play Two Halves In World Cup Games
With all the Ts crossed, the Is dotted, and the money counted, FIFA is seemingly only now realizing that it gets really fucking hot in Qatar. That's bad for fans, and it's unsafe for players. But rather than take that into account before going to the desert, they'd rather mess with one of the game's...
For Once, Lionel Messi Makes Soccer Look Very, Very Difficult
Your morning roundup for July 7, the day we were promised the internets....
Here Are Four Ample NSFW Reasons To Root For Peru To Win Copa América
Meet Irina and Daysy. They very much would like to see Peru win the Copa America. So much so, in fact, that they intend to go sans ropas if Peru prevails. Making that proposition all the more enjoyable is how Google Translate, well, translates stories about the aforementioned potential nudity. To ...
Here's A Foul On A Mexican Player That Involves "El Pene"
In yesterday's Chile-Mexico Copa America match, chileno Gary Medel got a hold of Giovani Dos Santos and did not let go until the man went down. Chile went on to win, 2-1, and will play Uruguay on Friday. May they leave los penes en paz....
FIFA Opted Out Of Denouncing Homophobia Because They Couldn't Get Beyoncé To Perform
There was an awkward double-booking in Berlin two weeks ago: the host city for the 2011 Women's World Cup had promised use of Brandenburg Gate — located in the city center — on Saturday, June 25, to both FIFA organizers and to the annual gay pride parade. If you know anything about FIFA's tolerance ...
Here's A Photo Of A Prominent Public Figure Glad-Handing A Brutal Despot
This image is cause only for despair. Can you believe Robert Mugabe would shake this man's hand? For shame. We've witnessed this kind of debasement before, when Russian crime figures, vile dictators and Michel Platini have lowered themselves to drinks and smirks with Sepp Blatter. On Monday, Blatter...
Watch The Portland Timbers' Darlington Nagbe Charm A Ball Into A Goal
We like to bag on the Timbers over here, if only because it makes Timbers fans choke on their kelp noodles. But nobody will be speaking ill of this goal by rookie Darlington Nagbe, who sets himself up for a volley and a perfect strike. Patchouli!...
On My Honeymoon, I Kept Seeing A Flabby, Neck-Braced Kaka
You probably know Kaka as the superstar midfielder for Brazil and Real Madrid. Maybe you'll remember him as the cover boy of FIFA 11....
Top-Heavy Venezuelan Quasi-Celeb Promises To Pose Nude If Her Team Wins Copa America
Ms. Diosa Canales, the lady you see on the horse above, has decided to rep the Venezuelan national team (La Vinotinto, as we native Venezuelans call it) by agreeing to finally get naked if they win the Copa America. She's got a Twitter account and everything....
Largest Sports Site Posts Messi Satire, Second-Largest Sports Site Parrots It As News
On Tuesday, Yahoo's soccer blog posted a seemingly innocuous article on Lionel Messi's loyalty to Barca. "When I eventually pass on, I will only play ghost football at Barcelona. I am happy there. No amount of spirit money will tempt me," he supposedly said....
Who Wants To See Charlie Davies (Mostly) Naked?
I've been dispatched by the other 90 percent of the Deadspin staff to share with you these photos of Charlie Davies, the starting striker for D.C. United who suffered bleeding in the brain, a ruptured bladder, a broken tibia, femur, and elbow, and multiple facial fractures in a car accident in Octob...
Why These Four Countries Are The Only Ones Not Trying To Qualify For The World Cup
Yesterday, the road to the 2014 World Cup kicked off with the first AFC qualifying round. (Technically, Montserrat and Belize played their first match two weeks ago, in Trinidad and Tobago because Montserrat doesn't have an acceptable stadium. The game drew 100 spectators.)...
This Man Cares About The Equatorial Guinean Women's Soccer Team More Than You Do
Equatorial Guinea lost to Norway in its first game in the Women's World Cup with a 1-0 decision. No one took the defeat harder than this unidentified and possibly deranged superfan....
"Hotel Prostitutes" Get Mexican Soccer Players Sent Home From Copa America
The Copa America is about to start, but eight players on the Mexican side are in big trouble. Seems they had a little place in their Quito hotel where they were running some Ecuadorian whores in and out, trying to be responsible. Then, laptops and iPads turned up missing. They got criticized for th...
The Face Of Totalitarianism Meets The Righteous Boot Of Democracy
Maybe the North Koreans really were struck by lightning; if "Lightning" is Megan Rapinoe's nickname for her right foot....
North Korea Lost To The US Because They Were Struck By Lightning, Says North Korea
In a truly bizarre press conference, North Korea's coach Kim Kwang Min had an excuse for his team's performance that...I don't think I've ever heard before....
Your Women's World Cup Open Thread
The U.S. women start their 2011 World Cup campaign today in Dresden, with an opening-round game against "mysterious" North Korea at 12:15pm. It will be aired on ESPN and ESPN3. Talk about it here, whether or not you played girls' club soccer in 1999 and had a prized ticket stub to the U.S.-Germany q...