south Page 38 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Somebody Let Dirk Nowitzki Have The Microphone Again, And The Results Were <em>Äußerst Komisch</em>
Dirk Nowitzki's occasional stints as a TV analyst have led to catchphrases including "Take Dat With You," which became an unofficial rallying cry for last year's Mavericks. Dirk's grunts and ejaculations are funny, for sure—even if sometimes in a "does my breath smell funny" or "does my car sound ...

Here's How To Snap Your Femur Playing Football
SMU's Jared Williams suffered a break of the largest bone in the human body in the fourth quarter of the Mustangs' BBVA Compass Bowl matchup against Pitt. The snap was loud enough to be heard on the sidelines (and, thus, ESPN's field mics) and left Pitt defender Andrew Taglianetti emotionally deva...

Yes, The Yeti Is Real, And It's A Fan Of The South Carolina Gamecocks
Your morning roundup for Jan. 3, the day we learned cops don't like giving weed back. Photo via Mocksession. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Capital One Bowl Brought Us The Rare Defensive PAT
You won't see this play in the No Fun League (defenses cannot score on a PAT in the NFL) but college football still permits the glory that is sprinting the length of the field with a measly two points as reward, an opportunity of which South Carolina's Stephon Gilmore made the most....

About That Whole "Good Will Toward Men" Thing
It's Christmas Eve, but there was no peace on Earth in (apparently) heathen Hawai'i, as the first half of the Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl got ugly with a brief bit of violence after Southern Miss scored a touchdown to take a lead into the locker room. [ESPN]...

Not This Shit Again: Now It's South Carolina Football Players Promoting A Nightclub Party
Two days after we brought you the story of UNC receiver Dwight Jones's now-cancelled birthday party at a North Carolina nightclub—a party that rendered Jones ineligible, briefly—here's another fiesta being promoted on Facebook using the likenesses of some college athletes—this time from South Carol...

Arizona State And Southern Miss Rumble After This All-Time Classic Sucker Punch
The resulting fight in Tempe wasn't on the scale of the one between Xavier and Cincinnati last week, but the punch that sparked it is so brutally dirty it's almost a work of art. After getting a forearm to the jaw from USM's Torye Pelham, ASU's Muscovite center Ruslan Pateev returns the favor with...

South Carolina Forward Malik Cooke's Eye Injury Was Grotesque, So Here's Multiple Angles Of Him Suffering It
In a game that's already seen the departure of Ohio State star Jared Sullinger (off to the hospital for testing) the South Carolina Gamecocks haven't avoided the injury bug either, as Malik Cooke suffered a nasty-looking cut above his left eye (courtesy a Buckeye elbow) that required locker room s...

Shane Battier Announces He's Joining The Heat Via Jimmy Buffett Quote
If you were looking for a fresh reason to hate on the Miami Heat this year, Shane Battier's come through for you. The Grizzlies forward announced on Twitter this morning that he's joining the Heat. Somehow, a Jimmy Buffett reference made it into the mix. That alone almost makes this more damning tha...

Allow This Cheerleader To Tell You Exactly How South Florida Did Last Night Against West Virginia
Your morning roundup for Dec. 2, the day we learned we've been hanging around a lot longer than we thought. H/T to Zach for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Salty Clemson Fan Calls The Gamecocks The "Short Bus Of The SEC East," Admits He'd Eat Squirrel
According to tipster Matthew W., "This guy 'Clemson Tom' has been making videos for a few weeks now. The Clemson nation has been all over this guy. His latest video he prank calls, Connor Shaw, starting QB for South Carolina. This guys also in past videos prank calls head coaches, Frat houses, GT ...

Clearly This Woman Loves The 'Cocks
South Carolina's about to win the Palmetto Bowl in big fashion over Clemson, and here's how one Gamecocks fan reacted to DeVonte Holloman intercepting a Clemson pass to help lock up the victory. I can only imagine how she'll celebrate....

<em>South Park</em> Is Already Doing Penn State Jokes
Too soon? [WWTDD]...

Paper Illustrates Joe Frazier Tribute With Massive Photo Of George Foreman
The South China Morning Post, Hong Kong's largest English-language newspaper, wasn't able to run its Joe Frazier tribute until today. All that lead-up wasn't enough time for someone who knows what Joe Frazier looks like to proof the pages....

Steve Spurrier Kicks Reporter Out Of Press Conference, Announces Dismissal Of QB Stephen Garcia, Drops The Mic
At the start of his weekly press conference today—and just about an hour before announcing that former starting QB Stephen Garcia had been dismissed from the team—South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier made an announcement to the gathered reporters. He would not, he explained, go through wit...

South Africa To Miss Out On Africa Cup Of Nations After Deliberately Playing To Boring 0-0 Draw
The South African national soccer team intentionally played to a 0-0 draw against Sierra Leone this past Saturday, and then danced across the field in celebration of having qualified for the 2012 Africa Cup of Nations. The problem: Bafana Bafana, as the team is known, had not qualified for the 2012 ...

Unlucky Biker Gets Jacked Up By An Antelope
Evan van der Spuy was expecting a quiet little race through a South African game reserve over the weekend. He'd get some exercise, maybe win some prize money, maybe even see some animals!...

The Bunt Home Run And The World-Famous Sneaker Company That May Not Exist
Seoul, Korea, 1982. A Korean baseball player, wearing Didibao shoes, lunges to bunt a ball at least two feet off the outside corner of the plate. He connects, and the ball takes off. Improbably, impossibly, it carries down the left field line, all the way for a home run. "Imagination has become re...

Your College Football Afternoon Games Open Thread
Skip Holtz will try to beat the team Daddy Lou used to coach! How awesome is that?! So awesome that it's a network game! Oh, pretty much every Notre Dame game is on NBC, you say? Of course it is. Because that's how it was foretold....

Helmetless South Carolina Football Player Crashes Moped While Trying To Carry A Pizza
College football players seem to be having a tough time navigating mopeds and scooters. Last year, there was the Kentucky running back who broke his arm during an accident, followed by the Iowa lineman whose frightening crash into a truck was captured on video. Then came Georgia, where coach Mark R...