sports Page 564 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Plucky Little Lemon Rolling Its Way To Freedom
Are you ready to be surprisingly invested in the fate of a lemon? Are you ready to cheer, to gasp, to thrill as an indomitable citrus rolls ever onward, besting the gutter forces arrayed against it? ...
Pizza Boy John Schnatter Resigns From Louisville Board Of Directors After Admitting To Offensive Conference Call Statements
Pizza dipshit John Schnatter reportedly resigned from the University of Louisville Board of Trustees Wednesday, after admitting to using the n-word in a conference call with marketing executives in May....
Fox's John Strong Is America's Voice For An America-Free World Cup
John Strong was eating at Jake’s Famous Crawfish, a Portland, Oregon institution since 1892, when Portland Timbers President of Business Mike Golub offered him his dream job. Strong, who was 25 years old at the time, jumped at the chance to become the voice of his hometown soccer team as it moved up...
AAU Contest Ends In Massive Brawl Between Players And Referees
This is madness. An AAU game being held in Emerson, Georgia descended into violent chaos in the final minute when players from Chicago’s R.A.W. Athletics got into a massive brawl with at least one of the referees:...
ESPN Nukes Its Comment Sections, Unfairly Silencing Thousands Of Morons
No longer will you be able to read an ESPN.com article and then underneath receive the dumbest possible reactions to it. The Worldwide Leader has phased out its Facebook-hybrid comment sections, as confirmed by a company spokesperson this week. None of the keyboard mashing will be archived—they will...
For The Last Time: NFL Ratings Are Not Down. They're Up, Compared To Everything Else
I am once again forced to use this space to explain something that is evident to anyone who has been paying attention to the nature of the television industry over the past few years....
Virtually No One In San Diego Is Listening To Sports Radio Goon Dan Sileo
You may ask, “Who is Dan Sileo?” Reader, you are lucky—and not alone. The ex-Miami Hurricanes football player and sports radio lunk, who has twice been fired for moronic remarks, is drawing in no listeners on the disastrous San Diego radio station 97.3 The Fan....
Barstool Sports Founder Tells Employee She'll Be Too Ugly To Be On Camera In Five Years
During yesterday’s edition of Barstool Radio, a show enjoyed exclusively by Deloitte interns who wish they were still in college, Barstool Sports founder Dave Portnoy said that one of his employees, 20-year-old Ria Ciuffo, would be too ugly to continue as an on-camera personality in five years. “She...
South Korea's Performance Is Why The World Cup Exists<em></em>
If there’s one thing that will really stick with me from this morning’s World Cup action, it isn’t Mexico spending 90 minutes stress-barfing all over themselves. Neither is it the shock of defending champion Germany failing to get out of the group stage. What I’ll most likely remember long after thi...
Weird FS1 Segment: Say What You Will About Joseph Stalin, But He Had A Sick House
Today’s World Cup coverage on Fox Sports 1 featured a short segment produced by National Geographic, in which a reporter gave viewers a light-hearted tour of Joseph Stalin’s dacha while going to some remarkable lengths to avoid mentioning that Stalin was a brutal dictator who was responsible for the...
The Pirates Want Sports Gambling Revenue To Fund Stadium Upkeep
With the Supreme Court paving the way for the legalization of sports gambling last month, sports leagues and teams have quietly dropped their longstanding opposition to gambling and have a new question: How can we get a cut?...
SB Nation May Like The Brands More Than Good Interviews
SB Nation published a blog about how Joel Embiid likes a soda that the soda company pays him to say he likes. Yes, it’s as embarrassing and pointless as it sounds....
Barstool Sports Stooges Try To Explain Why Corey Lewandowski's "Womp Womp" Was Actually Funny
On Tuesday, former Donald Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowski displayed a shocking lack of humanity when he went on Fox News and responded to a story about a 10-year-old migrant girl with Down Syndrome being taken away from her mother at a border facility by saying, “womp womp” in a mocking ton...
Baker Mayfield Turns Colin Cowherd Into A Punching Bag
Cleveland Browns draft pick Baker Mayfield, who will have some kind of documentary series air on Fox next month, has frequently been criticized by rat boy Colin Cowherd. That part in between the commas is presumably why Mayfield appeared today on The Herd, where he handed Cowherd’s ass to him when t...
Sweaty Softball Parents Try To Brawl, Roll Around For A Bit, Ruin Daughters' Weekend
The video you’re about to watch is going to look chaotic as hell and sound like the end of days—almost immediately, your ears will be flooded with girls screaming at the top of their lungs while your eyes fixate on what appears to be a violent brawl. Upon closer inspection, however, you’ll realize t...
Texas A&M Addresses Questions About Sexual Assault Investigations With Hollow Statement
People began asking questions about how Texas A&M handles reports of sexual assault after multiple students spoke out about their negative experiences last week. The university responded by joining in the longstanding tradition of powerful institutions issuing statements late on a Friday afternoon,...
Ed Werder Bravely Speaks For All The Men Who Don't Have Jobs In Sports Media
Sports Illustrated is looking to hire an entry-level news writer—an hourly position for 40 hours a week—but Ed Werder is explicitly not allowed to apply for the job, and if he does he’ll be chemically sterilized and thrown into a lion pit, as per company policy....
USGA Says It "Deeply Regrets" Violent Sex Commentary On U.S. Open Broadcast
The USGA is apologizing for Fox Sports’s U.S. Open broadcast yesterday, which featured two men talking about violent sex:...
Tough-As-Nails Racehorse Falls, Nearly Dumps Jockey, Recovers, Wins
This happened at something called the ITM Frame and Truss Maiden Steeplechase, in New Zealand. What we’ve got here is a horse falling over on a jump, nearly dumping its jockey, improbably recovering, then blazing back from the dead to win the whole damn race:...