sports Page 738 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sportswriter Quotes UT Player Saying Oklahoma "Ran The Balls Down Our Throat"; UT Player Requests Never To Be Asked Another Question
Kirk Bohls, a sports columnist for the Austin American-Statesmen, spent some time after Oklahoma's drubbing of Texas yesterday asking Texas players questions, as sportswriters are wont to do. He also tweeted out some of the better responses. Standard practice. He also made a small typo. It happens....

Lance Armstrong's Lawyer Says His Client Would Pass A Lie Detector Test, But Everyone's Mind Is Made Up, So What's The Point
Most experts doubt the validity of polygraph tests as a means of determining whether or not someone is actually telling the truth. Polygraphs are useful in attempting to get someone to tell the truth—hook up a criminal suspect to enough electronic diodes and tell them a beeping machine can read the...

Here's The Insane Suplex An Alabama Defensive Lineman Laid On A Missouri Running Back
Missouri was basically running clock in the closing moments of its blowout loss to the Crimson Tide yesterday. After a 38-minute lighting delay in the second quarter—which came with Alabama already ahead 28-0—and a full day of getting pretty relentlessly pounded by both the weather and an Alabama ...

For The Michael Jordan Fan Who Has Everything, There Is McJordan Barbecue Sauce
Lest you think McDonalds just slaps a "Mc" in front of shit and sells it as something new and not entirely disgusting, here is some "McJordan BBQ Sauce" from the early nineties delicacy, the McJordan Burger, for sale on eBay. The McJordan, you may recall "is a quarter-pound hamburger with smoked bac...

Derek Jeter Fractures Ankle, Is Done For Season, And The Yankees Lose Anyway
After a four-run ninth-inning rally to force extras, the Yankees disappointed a sparse crowd in the Bronx by dropping the ALCS Game 1 to the Tigers 6-4 in 12 innings. Even worse, skipper Joe Girardi announced to the press after the game Derek Sanderson Jeter would miss three months of action (in ot...

Pathetic MLB Playoffs Coverage On TBS Continues As They Misspell The Name Of Willie Mays
First there was this. TBS followed it up with this. That's not to mention the rotten and biased coverage from the Turner network's announcers. As a whole, TBS has shit the bed with their postseason baseball broadcasts, but tonight's blunder really takes things to a new level. Good job, good effort,...

Good News, Everyone, A-Rod Is Back: Your ALCS Open Thread
Mr. October July? Rodriguez is back in the starting line-up (if you call "batting sixth" the starting line-up). Dog Fister and Andy Pettitte square off in chilly New York, and the ghosts of Orioles past will fly aimlessly through stadium, moaning resonantly and giving players from both sides the chi...

Early Whistle, Notre Dame Beat Stanford In Overtime
Notre Dame might be for real, but the latest Irish victory, this 20-13 OT feather over Stanford, required a huge helping of fairy dust to secure. ...

How Do Recovering Cheaters Comply With NCAA Regulations?
While the NCAA has a vested interest in keeping premier programs strong, the Urban Meyer hire at Ohio State may still have been disheartening to those in charge of keeping the school's football team in line. Five months after paragon Buckeye Jim Tressel resigned in the wake of a non-compliance scand...

Eight Wake Forest Football Players Have Been Suspended For Marijuana Use In The Past Two Weeks
Six last week, two this week, five of them starters, one consensus Freshman All-America selection from last year (CB Merrill Noel), and the team's second leading rusher in Deandre Martin....
![If You Haven't Been Paying Attention, West Virginia's Geno Smith Is Having An Insane Year [UPDATE: Now With Geno Smith Ineptitude GIF]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/182xyfmaie6rwjpg.jpg)
If You Haven't Been Paying Attention, West Virginia's Geno Smith Is Having An Insane Year [UPDATE: Now With Geno Smith Ineptitude GIF]
Geno Smith leads the FBS in quarterback rating by more than twenty points. He's third in passing yards total (and, as of this afternoon, has played in a game less than either of those ahead of him, who he'll surely surpass), and his completion percentage leads the FBS by four points, despite throwin...

This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

Sportswriters Team Up To Remind Robert Horry Of The Time His Shorts Fell Down
What's happening here? No one pictured was quite sure, at first. Marcel Mutoni tweeted this out on Tuesday, and the sportswriters in the first row had no clue what the deal was, so, like the reporters they are, they chimed into get Robert Horry's comment. Howard Beck (now on the Brooklyn Nets beat f...

The Yankees' Parking Company Is In Default Because, As It Turns Out, People Take The Subway To Yankees' Games
Yesterday we brought you a screenshot of the half-empty stands inside of Yankee Stadium a good half hour after the first pitch of Game 5 of the Yankee-Orioles series. New York's transportation system is uniquely—how should we put it—clusterfuck-y around rush hour, and eventually the stadium did fill...

Your College Football Open Thread
A straightforward day of football watching awaits for those of you with no specific affiliations. Noon: the Sooners play the Longhorns in Dallas, which is almost exactly between the Norman, OK campus of OU and the Austin, TX campus of UT. Neutral location! At 3:30, Stanford heads to Notre Dame in t...

After One Of The Most Excruciating Losses In Postseason History, The Nationals Sent Their Fans A Ticket Presale Notice For The World Series
Want Nationals World Series tickets? That is too bad, because they lost their series with the Cardinals in objectively horrifying fashion last night, and you can't even get NLCS tickets, or any tickets, because there are no more games for the Nationals. The loss was painful, the way they lost was tw...

Excerpts From The Recent USADA Report That Make Lance Armstrong Look Like An Asshole
On Wednesday, the United States Anti-Doping Agency released hundreds of pages of allegations against Lance Armstrong purporting to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Armstrong not only doped, but organized a doping ring. The question of whether or not Lance Armstrong used PEDs is basically settle...

Todd Coffey Has A 14-Year-Old Friend Who Has A Kid And That Kid Has Some Interesting Views On Obama
Bulbous Dodgers reliever Todd Coffey signed up for Twitter in March of last year, but he's only tweeted 166 times, depending on whether you count deleted tweets. He has a few of those now, because he or someone with access to his (verified! because of course there are parodies) account went on a ver...

Several Fights Broke Out And A Man Was Stabbed During The First Syracuse Basketball Practice Of The Season
Orange Madness, the Syracuse version of the Midnight Madness events that take place all over the country on the first day of basketball practices, devolved into chaos around the periphery of the Carrier Dome last night. Syracuse security told reporters that multiple scuffles broke out around concess...

Nationals Buoyed By Fans' "Magical" A-Ha Singalongs To "Take On Me"—And Tonight's Was The Best Yet
As noted earlier this week, Michael Morse's walkup music choice of a-ha's "Take On Me" has become a rallying cry for "Natitude." The intensity of the singing has increased as the series has gone on, and tonight's eighth-inning rendition was truly a sight to see. Er, hear. [TBS]...