sports Page 838 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tennis Players Bill Simmons Would Do: Another Classic From The Secret Sports Guy Vault
It's a curious quirk of the internet that almost nothing survives of Bill Simmons's pre-ESPN work. After seeing last week's newly unearthed column from Simmons's AOL Digital City days, a reader sent along another Boston Sports Guy entry rescued from the dustbin of history. If you've got any old Simm...

Eli Manning's Facial Expressions Are America's Greatest Natural Resource
While Eli Manning eventually got the best of the 49ers in last night's NFC Championship game, it wasn't a jaunty romp for the Giants quarterback. This fourth quarter sack by San Francisco's Aldon Smith sent Manning through all five stages of the Kübler-Ross model in the span of a second. [Fox]...

Terry Bradshaw: (Old) Ladies' Man
That's Terry Bradshaw being accosted by Ann Mara, widow to the late Giants owner Wellington, after New York's NFC Championship victory. It's believed to be the first time ever captured on video that Bradshaw actually tries to shy away from a woman. [Fox]...

Steven Tyler's "Star-Spangled Banner" Was Terrible. But Was It The Worst Ever?
Aging rockers often struggle to hit high notes, but Steven Tyler's juxtaposition of screaming and a languid pace made his rendition of the National Anthem before the AFC Championship in New England especially difficult to listen to. (His liberal lack of adherence to the actual lyrics didn't help.)...

Yes, This Is CBS Host James Brown Interviewing A Fake Baby
It took CBS all of 15 hours to do something more embarrassing than prematurely reporting Joe Paterno's death. Here's a clip from the network's The NFL Today, something we're pretty sure is an advertisement for E*Trade—though we thought FCC rules mandated such things needed to be disclosed to the ...

Lionel Messi's Hat Trick-Finishing Goal Brought Announcer Ray Hudson To Orgasm
Barcelona spanked Málaga 4-1 today in La Liga, and the world's best soccer player Lionel Messi took over as Spain's leading scorer on the season with this hat trick-finishing goal. It sent commentator Ray Hudson into an even more over-the-top frenzy than usual, from his cats-mating shriek to his e...

<em>Corky Romano</em> And The Other Things Your Fox Affiliate Is Showing Instead Of Soccer
Fox is understandably proud of their experiment this morning to show English Premier League soccer live on U.S. broadcast TV for the first time. Yet it seems Fox affiliates aren't so excited, as 23 of Fox's 185 stations decided to air something else. Here's the list of cities where you can't see Ar...

Do Not Refuse The Post-Match Handshake Or Australians Will Boo The Shit Out Of You
Czech Tomas Berdych faced deafening boos and squeals (which are apparently some kind of Australian version of hissing) after refusing to shake the hand of Spain's Nicolas Almagro following Berdych's four-set win today in Melbourne....

Ricardo Clark's 97th-Minute Goal Gave The U.S. Their First Win Over A South American Team In Five Years
A 13-match winless streak against South American squads came to an end tonight when Ricardo Clark finally found net in the final moments of stoppage time of the United States' friendly against Venezuela....

Duke's 45-Game Home Winning Streak Is Over Thanks To This Florida State Buzzer-Beater
It's about the craziest (sorry, Cameronians) 15 seconds of basketball you'll get in the ACC, as Florida State's Michael Snaer connected with a buzzer-beating three-pointer to down Duke 76-73 just five seconds after the Blue Devils tied it up on an Austin Rivers layup. Credit Luke Loucks for the m...

ESPN Asks, New York And Florida Answer: Nonexistent Knicks-Heat Game Is Best Non-NFL Game Of The Weekend
The Knicks and the Heat are not playing this weekend. They play next Friday—on ESPN. That did not stop Sportsnation from asking if it was the best non-NFL game. Nor did it stop the fine citizens of New York and Florida from responding that yes, of course, it is clearly the best game this weekend. M...

Here's Clint Dempsey's Hat Trick Today, The First-Ever By An American In The English Premier League
Our own Luke O'Brien predicted in August a big season for American midfielder Clint Dempsey as he started his sixth season playing for Fulham in the EPL, and the past two weeks have borne that prediction in a big way. Dempsey followed his FA Cup hat trick two weeks ago with another today against ...

Antrel Rolle Used To Think Eli Manning Was Soft, Specifically Because Of Manningface
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the face is just an act! It's really just confidence....

The Alabama Teabagger Has A Mugshot
Brian Downing, the man who is accused of "pressing his testicles on the neck of an unconscious LSU fan," as the Times-Picuyane puts it, turned himself in to police last night and has been booked on one count of sexual battery and one count of obscenity. Here's his endearing mugshot....

When Should You Teabag Someone? A Flowchart Explains
An important social issue has arisen from the debate around the New Orleans teabag incident last weekend: When is it OK to teabag someone who has not specifically asked to be teabagged by you? Sometimes, police call that kind of thing sexual battery, but police terms can be confusing! To help settle...

Justin Blackmon Hopes To Play With Drew Brees Or Aaron Rodgers, Doesn't Read A Lot Of Mock Drafts
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: enjoy Blaine Gabbert's underthows, sucker....

Brian Downing, Alleged Alabama Teabagger, Has Turned Himself In
The Russell County, Ala., sheriff says Brian Downing—the man we identified this morning as the Alabama teabagger—visited the sheriff's office this afternoon with his attorney and spoke by phone with the New Orleans police detective investigating the teabagging incident....
![Former Georgetown Coach John Thompson Doesn't Know What Herpes Is [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Former Georgetown Coach John Thompson Doesn't Know What Herpes Is [UPDATE]
Here's a clip from yesterday's John Thompson Show on ESPN 980 in Washington, D.C., during which a discussion of Ryan Braun's PED incident took place. (Deadspin edited about a minute from the discussion for brevity.) The program quickly moves onto a new topic once Thompson mentions that he doesn't ...

The Sports Guy Before ESPN: A 2000 Bill Simmons Column Is Unearthed
It's a curious quirk of the internet that almost nothing survives of Bill Simmons's pre-ESPN work. The formative years of one of the country's most successful sports writers are lost forever, all because AOL Digital City preserved nothing. But even then the "Boston Sports Guy" had fans devoted enoug...

Cuba Gooding Jr. Invites Linda Cohn To Rock Out With Her Cock Out
Cuba Gooding Jr. appeared on SportsCenter today to promote his new film Red Tails (which, as far as we can tell, is fully unrelated to sports) and performed some awkward impersonations, including one of Allen Iverson which ended in an aborted-too-late "rock out with your cock out!" We're pretty s...