st Page 1285 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How The Hell Do The Patriots Do It?
Bill Belichick and Josh McDaniels are rightly being universally praised for the game plan that resulted in last night’s complete ass whupping of the incompetent Texans. But the Patriots’ 3-0 start with a pair of inexperienced quarterbacks not named Tom Brady, and a total of 14 snaps with banged-up R...
Kolten Wong Eats It
Wrigley Field’s grass gave way during today’s Cardinals-Cubs game and caused St. Louis outfielder Kolten Wong to faceplant as he tried to field a hit....
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Report: Buccaneers To Release Austin Seferian-Jenkins Following DUI Arrest
Tampa Bay Buccaneers tight end Austin Seferian-Jenkins was arrested early Friday morning for drunk driving. It now looks like the Bucs are releasing him....
Mariners Catcher Steve Clevenger Suspended Without Pay For Tweets
The Seattle Mariners responded to backup catcher Steve Clevenger’s dogshit dumb tweets about protesters by suspending him without pay for the remaining 10 games of the season. Here is the relevant part of the statement released by general manager Jerry Dipoto:...
Lawyer For Guy Who Pied Kevin Johnson Decries Lack Of Visual Evidence
The attorney for political pie-thrower Sean Thompson is questioning the current lack of video evidence in the altercation with disgraced soon-to-be-former Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson....
The Texans Were Tremendously Incompetent
The Patriots entered tonight’s game against the Texans as slight underdogs at home, despite a history of destroying Houston anytime they had a chance, especially at home. The Patriots were starting a rookie quarterback, the Texans came in hot at 2-0, and Gronk looked banged up, but the Patriots are ...
The Guy Who Threw A Pie In Kevin Johnson's Face Explains Why He Did It
Sean Thompson, the dude who reportedly got the stuffing beat out of him for throwing a pie in Kevin Johnson’s face last night, is facing a felony assault charge. Throwing baked goods in the faces of public officials is a time honored way to make your disgust known in as gross and physically harmless...
Greg Schiano Hit A Cyclist With His Car And Sent Him To The Hospital
Greg Schiano, world-historic asshole coach, is working for Ohio State in his first coaching job since getting shitcanned by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers three years ago. Everyone hated him in Tampa, but his tenure with the Buckeyes has been nice and quiet so far. Until this morning, that is, when he ran...
Thanks To Draymond Green, NBA Refs Will Be Cracking Down On Hits To The Dick And Balls
Draymond Green was the loudest, brashest, most dick kicking-est player on the NBA Finals-losing Golden State Warriors, and he has already secured a legacy of sorts for himself: starting next season, NBA referees will be making a point to spot and penalize strikes to the dick and balls, or what the A...
What Do You Get For The Baseball Player Who Has Everything? A Busted Up Phone Box
Let’s go back to 2013. David Ortiz was putting together an all-star season at 37 years old, but on one July night in Baltimore, he was melting down. After arguing with umpire Tim Timmons’ strike zone, Papi got ejected. So he went back into the Red Sox dugout and destroyed the in-dugout phone....
Mariners Catcher Barfs Out Some Thoughts About Protestors, Compares Them To Animals
Steve Clevenger is an oft-injured backup catcher for the Seattle Mariners, who is hitting .221 this season in 68 at-bats. This afternoon, he weighed in on the protests sweeping through Charlotte with all the subtlety of an elephant playing the piano....
Deadspin Up All Night: Big And Strong
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Predict the number of Julian Edelman QB plays you’ll see tonight....
Baseball Men Won't Stop Standing For The National Anthem
Sure, you love this country, but do you remain-at-attention-to-the-detriment-of-the-game love it like this pair of immigrants? That’s Venezuelan-born José Martínez for the Cardinals and Dominican-born Carlos Estévez of the Rockies before Wednesday’s game in Colorado....
Don't Have Opinions About Other People's Underwear
Are your underwear emitting an odor of feces or stale urine or stagnant crotch-and-ass sweat that I can smell from a normal, respectful distance? Are you wearing some form of outer garment between your underwear and the outside world? Are you someone with whose underwear I may interact directly in t...
Landon Donovan And I Would Like To Announce Our Availability For The USMNT
In some ways, Landon Donovan and I are very different people. He is an internationally famous and widely beloved MLS legend who just recently decided to unretire from the sport he was born to play and rejoin the L.A. Galaxy. I am a largely anonymous yet widely loathed MLS hater who never played prof...
Who To Start? Who To Sit? Fantasy Football Advice For Week Three Is Here.<em></em>
Week three of the NFL season is upon us, and if you’re one of the 75 million fantasy football players in the world, you’re probably wondering who to start and who to sit. Our weekly fantasy football advice column is here to answer all of your questions....
Indiana Football Player Charged With Felony Child Molestation (UPDATE)
Indiana University freshman wide receiver Kiante Enis was charged with two counts of felony child molestation Thursday, according to the Randolph County (Ind.) Sheriff. Here is the press release from the sheriff’s department (sic throughout):...