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Raw Milk Is For Idiots
Some very stupid lawmakers in West Virginia are sick, presumably with the shits. They lifted the state’s ban on raw, unpasteurized milk a few weeks ago, then drank some raw, unpasteurized milk to celebrate, and, well, they are feeling bad lately. This seems an opportune moment to point out that actu...
Sports Figure Endorses Donald Trump
Donald Trump, a screeching piece of mac ‘n cheese pizza, recently picked up an endorsement from former Yankee Paul O’Neill. He now has another former baseball player on his side, in the form of former Red Sox and Yankees star Johnny Damon....
Report: Texans Sign Brock Osweiler
The Houston Texans have reportedly agreed to a deal with quarterback Brock Osweiler. Rand Getlin of NFL Network broke the news first....
Did The Warriors Break LeBron James?
The Cleveland Cavaliers aren’t winning the NBA title this season. You know it, I know it, and somewhere deep down, Cavs forward and baldness cure test subject LeBron James has to know it, too. He has to know that he’s only got a few more years left in him, and those years are likely to be spent watc...
Ned Yost, Friend Of The Bees, Rights Past Wrongs
On March 8, 2015, Royals manager Ned Yost was forced to witness the ruthless destruction of a bee hive during a spring training game against the Angels. One year later, Yost found himself in exactly the same situation, but this time our good man helped save the bees....
Boston College Senior Has Just The Saddest Favorite College Basketball Memory
Boston College ended their basketball season by getting routed 88-66 by Florida State in the first round of the ACC tournament. The Eagles went just 7-25 this year, including an unfathomable 0-19 in conference play, the first team to go winless in the ACC since the post-Len Bias Maryland Terrapins....
Olympian Nick Willis Talks About Beating Porn
“I am 2.5 years porn free (and it feels AMAZING).” New Zealand Olympic silver medalist Nick Willis dropped this bomb on Facebook last week, adding, “Since I was a teenager, it had been a rollercoaster ride of shame and justification as I was on and off with this addiction. Not until I realized the t...
Red Sox Prospect Fractured Hand In Fight With Roommate
Red Sox pitching prospect Michael Kopech missed 50 games last year after testing positive for stimulants. It looks like he’s going to miss another chunk of games this season, as he fractured his hand during an altercation with his roommate....
If You Like Making Fun Of Dwight Howard, You'll Like This Picture
Dwight Howard, a guy who probably voted himself Class Clown in high school, is apparently not very good at locking his iPad. At least that’s what this tweet from Rockets rookie Sam Dekker implies:...
Andrew Bogut Doesn't Even Stick Around To See If Stephen Curry Makes Three-Pointers Anymore
Stephen Curry hits three-pointers with such accuracy that we’ve come to create our own, extra-deep three-point line for him. He’s also created a level of confidence within his teammates that they’re now heading back to play defense even before he releases the shot, as demonstrated tonight by Andrew ...
Players Resist Urge To Knock Out Referee After Getting Screwed Out Of A Goal
This is just unreal. Right after Accrington Stanley’s (yes, that’s actually the name of the team) striker Billy Kee had fired in what should’ve been the opening goal against AFC Wimbledon, the referee for some reason decided to blow the halftime whistle, nullifying the goal. The game ended 0-0....
Lionel Messi Was On One Yesterday
Lionel Messi scored twice in Barcelona’s 4-0 win over Eibar yesterday, though neither the scoreline nor Messi’s goal tally accurately reflect just how transcendent a show Argentine winger put on. As is so often the case in that inimitable version of Messi domination, it was everything around the sco...
Man Who Tries To Grab Home Run Ball From Kids Gets What He Deserves
Today’s spring training excitement comes to you from Arizona, where a Cactus League classic between the White Sox and Angels resulted in some lucky kid walking away with a Mike Trout home run ball—and an adult walking away with a random baseball he thought was a Mike Trout home run ball....
Ostrich Thinks It's A Damn Cyclist
Oleksiy Mishchenko and friends were out for a pre-race ride on the Cape of Good Hope in South Africa when they were joined by a freaking ostrich. This is the closest anyone will ever get to riding alongside a trained Velociraptor. ...
Police: Ronaldo Vs. Messi Debate Ends With One Guy Killing His Buddy With Shard Of Glass
The incessant arguing about whether Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi is the better player is dumb, misses the point, and is played out. Even worse than getting drawn into said argument in the first place is taking it so seriously that you kill a friend of yours, which is apparently what happened to...
Iowa Wrestler Only Talks About His Mullet After Winning Match
Iowa 184-pounder Sammy Brooks beat Nebraska’s T.J. Dudley to win the Big Ten Championship Sunday. After his victory, Brooks gave thanks to the big guy up top: his mullet....
Report: The Broncos Could Lose Brock Osweiler To The Texans
The conventional wisdom on developing a quarterback is that it’s best to stash the guy for a while, sit him for a few years behind a veteran and then hand over the keys when he’s more physically, mentally, and emotionally prepared. The Broncos looked like they played it to perfection, drafting Brock...
Dick Stronger
The dick was strong before, but it has since grown stronger....
God, If You're Really There, Please Let Leicester Win The Premier League Title
We’ve come so close these last few years to witnessing something truly spectacular, a season-long performance of such improbable greatness that it sows hope in the hearts of fans and neutrals alike, proving that there can be something more to success and failure in the Premier League than the mere a...