st Page 1626 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Blues Fan Has Facepalm For The Ages After Toews Goal
A hearty thank you to reader Justin for pointing this out because it is wonderful. Look at this man who probably smacked himself in the face with such force that his whole section heard the thwack! Go ahead and expand this one to get the full experience, but don't stop there. There's a lot more goin...

Jonathan Toews's Overtime Winner Was As Close As It Gets
There's not much space at all between Ryan Miller's skate and the post, but Jonathan Toews used all of it on his backhand winner in overtime against the Blues. Toews gave the Blackhawks a 3-2 overtime win in Game 5 after he found himself at center ice all alone with the puck thanks to a Duncan Keith...

NBA Owner Sterling To Girlfriend: Why Bring Black People To My Games?
We all knew that Donald Sterling was a racist and an overall horrible human being. So TMZ's lurid audio of the Los Angeles Clippers owner enraged about his girlfriend taking photos with black people shouldn't really surprise you if you've been paying any attention. And yet, the audio is shocking—may...

Why Running Bandits Are Bastards
The roads into Boston are free 364 days a year, so why would you pay to run a marathon on that one odd day? Rules don't apply to you! You're too rich! Too young! ...

Budweiser Black Crown Vs. Miller Fortune: A Prestige-Beer Showdown
Craft beer has become so embedded in our drinking culture that TGI Fridays sells Sierra Nevada, Lagunitas sponsors This American Life, and your dipshit coworker's last batch of homebrew was actually kinda good, in a way, if you're into chipotle märzens. ...

The Origins Of Amateurism; Or, Why College Sports Are So Fucked Up
As president of the NCAA, Mark Emmert has $1.7 million a year riding on the premise that college sports are integral to the mission of higher education in general, a number that frankly lends a certain insight to his cause. Sympathy, even. After all, if you made that kind of money, you'd probably fi...

Story About Teacher Who Gives Child Lap Dance In Class Is Very Weird
Houston CBS affiliate KHOU dropped a story on its website this morning about a middle school teacher who admits she gave a student a lap dance during class. Somehow, the lap dance part is the least weird thing about it....

This Is Not How You're Supposed To Throw A Jump Ball, Ken Mauer
As much as we enjoyed watching you deploy the Fling 'n Hide technique to perfection, you probably shouldn't do this again, Ken Mauer. ...

NFL Prospect Bradley Roby Disputes Report Of His OVI Through Twitter
NFL draft prospect Bradley Roby was reportedly charged with an OVI—operating a vehicle impaired—on April 20 in Columbus, Ohio. But today, Roby took to Twitter to dispute the accuracy of that report, and he had some tangible evidence....

Warriors Fan With "King Slayer" Jersey Has Gone Too Far
This is all your fault, basketbloggers....

Which States Hate Themselves The Most?
A new Gallup poll, covered in USA Today, poses a goofy but fascinating question: Do you consider your home state to be the best, or one of the best, to live in?...

How Difficult Is It To Qualify For The Boston Marathon?
We've spent the better part of this week focusing on elites, but now we turn back to the heart of the Boston Marathon: the qualifiers....

Brad Marchand Misses Two Wide-Open Nets
Brad Marchand has to be feeling very lucky about the fact that his Bruins came away with a 3-2 victory in last night's Game 4 against the Red Wings, otherwise he would be having a very, very bad day today....

Dodger Stadium Idiot Climbs Over Outfield Fence, Evades Security
Two fans ran out onto the field at Dodger Stadium tonight midway through the ninth inning, and it appears one of them escaped security by climbing back over the outfield fence. We doubt he got away for long, though....

Bib Forgers Are Dumb Twentysomethings Raising Money For Charity
Bastards with hearts of gold are still bastards, and the perpetrators of Bibgate 2014, if not innocent, are at least trying to justify themselves out of a bad situation....

Hey, It's 15 Years (And A Day) Since Fernando Tatis Hit Two Grand Slams In An Inning
On April 23, 1999, Fernando Tatis set an MLB record that's as unlikely as it is pointless, hitting two grand slams in a single inning. It is, I feel confident saying, unlikely to ever be broken....

WFAN Just Obliterated Mike Francesa's Most Effective Marketer
WFAN Audio, the internet's largest repository of Mike Francesa clips, was decimated today, as WFAN/CBS issued takedown notices on hundreds of YouTube videos. This is only notable to that small subset of the population who cares what Francesa's up to, but that's kind of the point—even fewer people ar...


Do You Know These Runners? Because They're Probably Bastards.
Everyone wanted to be in the Boston Marathon this year, and the race actually expanded its field by more than a third, to 36,000, to accommodate everybody. But it still sold out, and then there's that pesky detail of having to pay. So four runners decided they'd find alternative means of entry, clai...
