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Rob Gronkowski Thinks Planes And Cars Are Time Machines
Football steakhead Rob Gronkowski is back! Well, he's been playing for a few games now, but we know he's really back because of the astounding answer he gave after being asked for his ideal superpower. Basically, the Patriots' tight end doesn't understand how time works....


What The NFL Can Learn From WWE About Head Injuries
Originally published at Bloomberg View....

Even The League Office Feels Bad For The Celtics
On Tuesday, the Celtics got mollywhopped by the Rockets. (The stat sheet broke Rajon Rondo's brain for a second.) Gerald Wallace, who knows a thing or two about being a good player on a terrible team, was understandably exasperated in his postgame interview....

Denny McLain Says "Domestic Issues" Drove Prince Fielder Out Of Detroit
Former Detroit Tigers pitcher Denny McLain hinted at some darker, less savory reasons for why the team traded first baseman Prince Fielder today on the Michigan radio show Doctor & Bentley. His comments are definitely suggestive, though it's not exactly clear what he's trying to get at....
![Shawne Merriman's WWE Tryout Didn't Go So Well [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1972c2l5jdrc1jpg.jpg)
Shawne Merriman's WWE Tryout Didn't Go So Well [Update]
Former Chargers and Bills LB Shawne Merriman has been busy since retiring earlier this year. Last month he showed up at WWE's Performance Center in Orlando, which serves as both a wrestling school and training facility. Though Merriman showed off his bruises from getting in the ring, everyone downpl...

Little Big Mouth: The Unfunny Comedy Of Andrew Dice Clay
Originally published in 1990 in the Village Voice. Anthologized in the author's collection of reportage, No Success Like Failure. Solotaroff's apologetic afterword is here: ...

Jameis Winston Isn't The Only Problem Here: An FSU Teacher's Lament
We love the game. We love the players, too, even when they scare us....

The BCS Has One Last Screwjob Left In It: 125 FBS Teams, Ranked
Each week during college football season we put the conventional polls to shame by ranking every FBS team from 1-125, by whatever standard we see fit. As always, last week's rankings were not consulted....

Dwight Howard Got Owned By A Heckler Last Night
A fun thing happened during last night's Rockets-Mavericks game. Late in the fourth quarter, Dwight Howard got heckled by a very angry man who may or may not have been an extra in Wayne's World 2, and Howard responded by tossing the ball at the heckler....

Dana White Says Some More Ridiculous Things About Georges St-Pierre
UFC president Dana White received plenty of pushback, on this website and elsewhere, when on Saturday he demanded that welterweight champion Georges St-Pierre—who had just finished getting pummeled by Johny Hendricks and was clearly distressed about his own physical and mental well-being after his ...

Cool Minimalist Drawings: Guess Which Sports Figures Are Represented
We've already shown you some minimalist approaches to NHL logos, stadiums, and professional baseball teams, but Andrew Janik of LessonsInSport.tumblr.com has taken this little design challenge a step further, trying to distill the essence of individual athletes (and coaches/owners) in as few strokes...

Worst Coaching Staff Ever Stole Playbooks, Vandalized Own School
Last week, an assistant coach at a Tennessee high school was arrested after it emerged that he had vandalized his own fieldhouse in an attempt to fire up his team before the big game. He's not the only Keystone Kop on staff. Three assistants were apparently involved with the vandalism, and one is ac...

DNA Matches Jameis Winston To Sample Taken From Accuser
A DNA sample taken from the underwear of the accuser matches that of FSU quarterback Jameis Winston, according to a report obtained by ESPN....


A Three-Man Front Is A Late-Game Defensive Formation For Suckers
The weekend, as I watched the absurd denouement of the Northwestern-Michigan game, something struck me as familiar — beyond the now-routine bumblefuckery that inspires the Wildcats to turn fourth-quarter leads into triple-overtime losses. No, it wasn't simply that Michigan drove in the dregs of game...

Here's Pete Maravich Giving Alabama Fans The Double Bird
According to the Reddit user who uploaded this wonderful GIF, this is Pistol Pete unloading both barrels on the Alabama student section after a game in 1970. They probably deserved it....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Chris Benoit
Excerpted and adapted from The Squared Circle: Life, Death, and Professional Wrestling (Gotham Books). For the Dead Wrestler of the Week archive, click here....

Who Is John Allen, The Baseball Reporter Revealed As A Twitter Hoax?
Winter is baseball's silly season, filled with silly trade and free agent rumors even from reputable sources. But sometimes those sources are not-so-reputable. Sometimes they don't even exist. Like KCNBC's own John Allen....

Cops Covered Up Jameis Winston Case, Accuser's Family Says
This is getting ugly. Yesterday, a Tallahassee Democrat report indicated that the sexual battery case involving Jameis Winston became "inactive" because the complainant told cops she didn't want to pursue the case. But today, in a statement released by its attorney to Tampa Bay Times reporter Matt B...