st Page 1804 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Steve Buckhantz Couldn't Tell Whether That Game-Ending Shot Went In Because The Owners Moved Him To The Cheap Seats
We all had a good laugh when Washington Wizards play-by-play man Steve Buckhantz dusted off his patented "dagger!" call despite Trevor Ariza's (very nice looking) airball to end the Wizards' game on Wednesday night. The misplaced enthusiasm was funny but, as we noted at the time, you couldn't really...

How To Cook Bacon, Eggs, And Toast: A Guide For Infomercial Skeptics
So I had the occasion, brain-fried and worked-over and at best quasi-sentient by the end of some long recent day, to plop my faltering attention on some cable channel well outside the familiar rotation and there, eventually, to be captivated—horrified, really, the gape-jawed half-smiling horror of e...

17 Sports Moments That Will Restore Your Faith In Humanity
It's been a rough week in the sports world for those of us who put faith in our fellow man and woman. From NASCAR drivers' alleged bigotry, to NFL execs wanting to know if Manti Te'o is gay, to a youth hockey coach being sentenced for tripping a little kid, it's tough to look at the sports world ...

Here, Have This Blake Griffin Subway Coupon That Expires Feb. 29
Fox Sports West, which broadcasts Clippers games, has a promotion deal with Subway. Any time Blake Griffin goes for a double-double, you can print out a coupon to get double the meat on your sandwiches the next day. Griffin sprung for 18 and 14 against Indiana last night, so it's Subway time. As tha...

Entire School District Locked Down Because Someone Misheard A Fresh Prince Lyric
Life got flip-turned upside down this morning in a suburban Pittsburgh school district. Everyone was chillin' out, maxin', relaxin', all cool—at least until a doctor's office employee called a 19-year-old high school student to confirm an appointment. When the employee heard the student's outgoing v...

Actually, Duke Had No Problems Getting Off The Court In Virginia Last Night
Virginia fans stormed the court in Charlottesville last night, after the unranked Cavaliers defeated No. 3 Duke, 73-68, and Mike Krzyzewski was a bit rankled by the lack of protection for his team. He reportedly "hollered an F-bomb at a fan" and later suggested that he and his team hadn't been pro...

The Steelers' Leadership Controversy Is Stupid
The Steelers went 8-8 in 2012, missing the playoffs for just the seventh time in 21 seasons. Surely there must be some sort of explanation. So why not a really dumb debate over whether the team lacks veteran leadership?...

Zach Galifianakis Is Nikola Pekovic's Ventriloquist Dummy
If the two people in this photo weren't famous, it would be quite the optical illusion. Is the guy on the left some kind of bearded mini-person, or is the guy on the right a gigantic mutant? I can't tell!...

Coach K Hates Fun And Games
A wonderful thing happened in Charlottesville, Va., last night: the Virginia Cavaliers defeated No. 3 Duke, 73-68. Duke losses are always something we, united in our reasonable hatred of the Blue Devils, can collectively appreciate; that this one came against an unranked bubble team playing on it...

The Best Videos Of The Week
LeBron blows our minds with a pregame dunk, a high schooler makes the best recruiting mixtape ever, a college outfielder defies the laws of physics, a news anchor doesn't recognize Mo Farah, and a first-time ski jumper has some issues. Here are the best videos of the week....

CNN Sports Guy Asks News Anchor How Many Hot Dogs She Can Eat, Is "Turned On" By Her Answer
When CNN ditched Sports Illustrated as its in-house sports arm and instead went to new acquisition Bleacher Report last month, we were alarmed. After all, SI has decades of work attesting to its journalistic pedigree while b/r has this. We expected Bleacher Report to quickly drag CNN down to its "...

The Big East Just Got Good Again
No, the sad-sack Big East didn't find a miraculous way to stop hemorrhaging schools, nor re-negotiate its TV deal with ESPN that will pay six times less than what it was offered just two years ago. The Big East, one of the most storied basketball conferences in the country, wasn't able to swing a la...

Brewers' Racing Sausage Thieves Took Their Prize On A Boozy Bender
More details about the recent theft of Guido the Italian Sausage have emerged, and they come courtesy of those who carried out the heist. Ted Berg of USA Today Sports received a message from the sausage thieves, and under the condition of maintaining their anonymity, they told him all about the grea...

Klay Thompson's Parents Are Docking His Allowance For Getting Involved In The Warriors-Pacers Fight
Aside from David Lee and Roy Hibbert, a number of players had supporting roles in Monday night's Golden State-Indiana mini-brawl. One of them was Klay Thompson, who was fined $35,000 for escalating the fight. You can see him in the video, No. 11, holding the basketball. He charges Hibbert from behin...

Chris Kluwe And Brendon Ayanbadejo File A "Cockmonster"-Free Marriage-Equality Brief With The Supreme Court
Vikings punter Chris Kluwe and Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo have been the most outspoken proponents of gay marriage in the NFL, if not in all of sports. This fall, they found themselves on the right side of gay-marriage referendums in their respective states, Minnesota and Maryland, whereupo...


Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <em>Wow! Wow! Wubbzy!</em>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Illustration by Jim Cooke. ...

The Flames Just Made The Most Inexplicable Trade Of The Year
Brian McGrattan is no catch: the journeyman brawler has bounced around from team to team, and up and down from the AHL, since the lockout. So when the Predators waived him, he cleared easily. He was assigned to their AHL affiliate yesterday. This morning, Calgary traded for him....

College Outfielder Makes Mind-Bending Diving Catch
You're going to have to watch this a few times, and even then you probably won't be able to properly wrap your mind around this insane catch from N.C. State center fielder Brett Williams. A full-speed diving catch that smoothly transitions into a mid-air somersault should be impossible to pull off...

Monta Ellis Wins Game With Ridiculous Buzzer-Beater, Immediately Exits Court
Steph Curry wasn't the only one doing what he was put on Earth to do last night. Monta Ellis, one of the league's most renowned chuckers, had himself a quintessential Monta Ellis game in Houston. He scored 27 points on 9-24 shooting and hit the crazy, game-winning buzzer-beater you see above. It's...