st Page 1845 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Week's Signs Of The Apocalypse
For nearly two decades, Sports Illustrated has stirred the tea leaves to discern a weekly Sign of the Apocalypse. Deadspin salutes the magazine's ongoing effort to cover the end of times but declines to cede the scoop on the biggest event in world history....

Lee Corso Almost Killed A Duck On College Gameday
At this point, we have no grounds for saying whether or not the duck is dead. The duck could be alive, it could be in the final, painful throes of death, it could be totally OK—maybe ducks are more resilient than they look. Maybe. We're not veterinarians. All we know is that the duck was not happy...

Your College Football Open Thread, For Talking About Basically Anything But College Football
Is this the worst week of college football in the entire season? Emphatically yes, it is the worst. During football's penultimate week, many ranked teams are playing FCS opponents from around the neighborhood—South Carolina plays Wofford, Texas A&M plays Sam Houston State, Georgia won't even go beyo...

In His Battle With The Rockets, Royce White Throws Out The Nuclear Option And Takes A Stand Against Professional Sports
Royce White's been struggling. Picked 16th by the Rockets this summer, the hybrid forward was demoted to the D-League on Monday, went AWOL for about a day, and resurfaced to accuse the Rockets of mishandling his increasingly famous anxiety disorder. The Rockets wouldn't concede that point, and start...

Your Week 12 College Football Master Schedule
Schedule and broadcasters via and cross-referenced with. If you spot any errors, let us know below. Conferences reflect home teams. Ranked teams bold; rankings from the USA Today Coaches Poll. Times (EST)....

The Ditka Family Had A Pretty Rough Friday
Mark Ditka, son of Mike, is currently awaiting trial in Lake County, Illinois for his fourth DUI arrest, and for possession of a controlled substance (hydrocodone) turned up during the ensuing search of his car....

Photoshop Contest: Put Bud Selig's Blond Hair On Things
Selig stunned us with his glorious new mane at the owners meetings. It's almost unfair to keep it to himself. So please help us put Bud Selig's hair on other things: people, animals, amorphous concepts, Jeffrey Loria, whatever....

Some Texas A&M Fan Snuck Onto The Field And Watched The Alabama Game From The Aggies' Sideline
Texas A&M's upset of Alabama was undoubtedly a thrill for every Aggie fan. But imagine what it must have been like for the guy in the top right corner of the photo above. No wonder dude jogged off the field at halftime with such a shit-eating grin: On an A&M message board, he tells the story of how ...

"Driver's License Belonging to David Petraeus's Lover Found By”: A Brief Index Of Recent Notable Events Involving Joggers
An occasional miscellany (with a head nod toward this great old post on Runner's World's website)....

Which TV Market Is Getting Screwed This Sunday? An Analysis Of Week 11 NFL Viewing Maps
The NFL's regional programming rules are famously byzantine, but luckily the506.com cuts through the bullshit for you, providing weekly maps that allow us to answer the only question that really matters: Which fans are the most screwed this Sunday?...

Which NFL Pundits Have Made The Worst Predictions So Far This Year? Grading ESPN, CBS, And Yahoo
Republished with permission from PunditTracker.com....

Democracy In The <em>Raw</em>: The WWE Comes To Post-Revolutionary Egypt
CAIRO—Outside the International Cairo Stadium complex, there were maybe a dozen policemen on horseback greeting the crowd for World Wrestling Entertainment's first visit to Egypt. Families had brought little kids, and vendors hawked national flags and SpongeBob SquarePants t-shirts....

Mitch Albom Is The Meat In Baseball's Dumbfuck Stew
I'm gonna preface all this by telling you that I don't really watch baseball, nor do I particularly care who won the AL MVP award. But the beauty of reading a terrible Mitch Albom column is that you don't HAVE to know much about anything, because Mitch will always deliberately know less than you. Mi...

We Love You, Verne Lundquist, But It's Time To Go
On this week's excerpt from Slate's Hang Up and Listen podcast, Josh Levin makes a simple, fair case for why cuddly Verne Lundquist, CBS's lead college football play-by-play announcer, ought to call it a career. Lundquist makes a lot of mistakes on air. Levin captures many of them here. Listen up:...

Boston College Suspends Women's Soccer Player For Tweeting Penn State Sandusky Jokes
Boston College is scheduled to play at Penn State tonight in the second round of the NCAA women's soccer tournament. Stephanie McCaffrey, a sophomore and a second-team all-ACC forward who had scored a goal in BC's first-round win over Hofstra, prepared for the trip to State College by tweeting a bun...

Man Gets Kicked Out Of Bills Game, Dies
A man who'd been ejected from Ralph Wilson Stadium last night was found dead early this morning, the Buffalo News is reporting....

The Red Sox Will Use All That Uncommitted Money Burning A Hole In Their Pocket
Remember when the Red Sox traded Josh Beckett, Carl Crawford, Adrian Gonzalez and Nick Punto (ha, Nick Punto) to the Dodgers for some prospects, James Loney and salary relief? A quarter-billion dollars worth of salary relief? Look at all that spendable money floating around. Right now, $45 million ...

The Best Passages From <em>ESPN The Magazine's</em> 7,000-Word Feature On The Alabama Teabagging Video
You remember when Brian Downing teabagged a passed-out Garrison Stamp after last year's BCS title game, right? Of course you do, because the entire thing was breathtakingly stupid and cruel and hilarious in its own awful way, and you've probably watched the video of the incident a dozen times....

Will We Ever Hear From These <em>Twilight</em> People Again?
Friday brings with it the end of the half-decade scourge of the Twilight films. There have been five of them, and I have to confess to you, I haven't seen a single one of them. I know they are about vampires, I know the books they're based off are terrible, and I know that they make a shit-ton of mo...

The Bro-iest Christmas Wish List Ever Written
Color us shocked—we had no idea that grown-ups A) made wish lists and B) spent hours putting them together. But when we posted a 21-year-old woman's incredibly detailed list yesterday, the feedback was equally split between those who thought she was a spoiled adult baby, and those who didn't see wha...