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Mike Schmidt Wrote An AP Column, And The Headline Was "Autographs Getting Way Too Hard To Read"
That's it. Hall of Famer Mike Schmidt wrote 1,055 words for the Associated Press about how autographs are too hard to read....

Jay Feely's Secret Weapon: That Horrible Flo Rida Song About Blowjobs
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: [Whistling]...

Curt Schilling Is Trying To Sell His Massachusetts Home Again
The new season of 30 for 30 kicks off tonight with Broke, a look at pro athletes' penchants for burning through their fortunes. One of them is Curt Schilling, whose video game company not only went bankrupt, but blew tens of millions of dollars worth of shady taxpayer-funded loans. So it's maybe coi...

The Definitive List Of The World’s Most Important Jobs
Your letters:...

How A Career Ends: Jay Bell Homered Off A Hall Of Famer In His First At-Bat, Flied Out In His Last
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today: former major-league infielder Jay Bell, who scored the winning run in Game 7 of the 2001 World Series. ...

Roundup: Your Best Brandon Lloyd Photoshop Contest Submissions
Yesterday, we asked you to take Brandon Lloyd's incredible smiling-touchdown photo and use it to create your own masterpieces in Photoshop. You did not disappoint. Here are the best submissions from yesterday. via ObiWanSammons...

A Red Sox Fan Pulled A Jeffrey Maier And Gave The Yankees A Home Run
We thought last week's minor kerfluffle, on Bobby Valentine's game of employment chicken, would be the last Red Sox update we'd have to do this season. No sense piling on. But the Red Sox can't seem to stop doing terrible things....

Motorin’: Your Highlight Reel Of The Most Night Ranger-Worthy Runs From College Football’s Week 5
Prompted by a discussion between Gawker's own Mobutu Sese Seko and Sports Illustrated college football writer Holly Anderson, we created this mp3 celebrating the best and only relevant moment of Night Ranger's musical career. We think it's worth using to highlight plays, so here's the best runs from...

The Jerry Dome Is Infested With Gigantic Roaches
Sure, Cowboys Stadium may be a billion-dollar shrine to fossil fuels football, but even with the new Victoria's Secret store it seems they have a bit of a problem with pest control. EWWW. ...

The Best Picture I Ever Took At A Sporting Event: Spike Lee, Reggie Jackson And Val Kilmer Chat In (Old) Yankee Stadium
What you see here is Spike Lee interviewing Reggie Jackson in the right field upper deck of old Yankee Stadium. That's Val Kilmer there in the foreground, too, for some reason. I took this picture a few hours before the final game played at the old Yankee Stadium on September 21, 2008. It was a wei...
![How Did This Girl End Up At A New York Hotel With Mark Sanchez And Tim Tebow? [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/180udcnkp7hxijpg.jpg)
How Did This Girl End Up At A New York Hotel With Mark Sanchez And Tim Tebow? [UPDATED]
Those intrepid internet lurkers over at Busted Coverage found this one, and we have to agree: Once we saw these photos and considered where they came from, all we were left with were questions. The photos were tweeted by a girl who appears to have been visiting New York City this weekend from parts ...

Dallas Braden, Anti-Crime Crusader, Told Police "I'm A Multi-Millionaire And I Pitch For The Oakland A's. I Pay Your Fucking Salary."
A's pitcher Dallas Braden caused a scene at a public meeting last week, brandishing a baseball bat and yelling about the high crime and lax police response in his hometown of Stockton, Calif. He said his grandmother had been robbed, he had been assaulted in his car, and enough was enough—he's moving...

Photoshop Contest: Brandon Lloyd's Touchdown Grin
We've already alerted you to the awesomeness of this photo, but we also think that it could used to create something even greater. That's where you, your twisted sense of humor, and your mean Photoshop skills come in....

Former Ohio State Football Star Jim Stillwagon Allegedly Shot Someone In The Head
Ohio State football legend Jim Stillwagon was arrested and charged with felonious assault in connection with a road rage incident on Sunday. Stillwagon got into an altercation with Richard Mattingly, the result of which was Stillwagon shooting Mattingly in the head....

College ShameDay: Who Embarrassed Themselves On Saturday (Besides Cal's Quarterback)?
Our weekly college football shame index....

Your Darko Milicic Being A Crazy Person Update: Darko Says He'll Kill Someone On The Court If Necessary
Newly signed Darko Milicic's participation in last week's media day was very enlightening, but he's still not done saying weird things. Darko now states that he will do anything to help the Celtics succeed, even if he has to kill someone. Wait, what?...

Tom Brady Says, "Fuck You, Bitches," And The Bengals Win Gangnam Style: Your Sunday NFL GIF Roundup
This is where we'll be stashing the best GIFs from Week 4—from Percy Harvin returning a kickoff for the first touchdown of the day to, in all likelihood, Michael Vick breaking a rib. The day is done, except for the Eagles and Giants, so let's take a look at what this week had to offer. ...

The Losingest Losers Keep Right On Losing
Welp. That'll do it. The Pittsburgh Pirates were 16 games over .500 as recently as Aug. 8. The playoffs were still a very real possibility, but even if the postseason wasn't going to happen, a winning season likely would. Cue the fart noise. Today's loss to the Reds was No. 82, which means the longe...

Warren Sapp's House Is Up For Sale In The Pages Of <em>The New York Times</em> Today
Are you a Times reader? Are you in the market for "A Magnificent Lakefront Estate Home in Prestigious 'Lake Butler Sound,' Windermere, Florida"? Do you have a Warren Sapp fetish that you haven't told anyone about? Well then you're already probably pretty excited! This was on page B7 of the Times tod...