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What The Hell Happened To Lance Armstrong? All Your Doping Scandal Questions, Answered
Some people pay attention to cycling. Others pay attention to cycling only when the most successful American cyclist of all time is banned from the sport and stripped of his seven Tour de France titles. If you're in that second group, Lance Armstrong's ban has likely left you with some questions. He...

Howie Kendrick's Mustache Last Night Was, Erm, Unique
Last night's 14-13 Angels win over Boston in extras was a testament to agricultural arson, but some viewers seemed preoccupied with the status of Howie Kendrick's mustache....


Miguel Cairo Fails To Make The Easiest Play Ever
After Juan Pierre led off the Phillies' half of the ninth with a single, it was pretty obvious Kevin Frandsen was going to try to bunt him over to second to put the winning run in scoring position. And once Frandsen got the bunt down and the ball rolled toward Miguel Cairo, it was pretty obvious Cai...

Student-Athletes To Be Slightly Less Exploited, At Least In California
We learned, from Taylor Branch's history, that the term "student-athlete" only arose as a (successful) attempt by the NCAA to avoid having to pay workman's comp to injured players. A Colorado football player, killed by a head injury in the '50s, wasn't entitled to a thing from the NCAA—no health car...

All Seven Of Lance Armstrong's Tour De France Wins Would Now Go To Cyclists With Doping Scandals Of Their Own
Now Lance Armstrong has been stripped of his seven consecutive Tour de France titles, thanks to the persistent doping allegations against him. It's a sad day for the sport, but at least it vindicates all of the clean-riding cyclists who finished behind Armstrong. Right? So here are the runners-up wh...

Chris Johnson Owes You Money: The Deadspin 2012 AFC Fantasy Football Preview
If you missed our NFC fantasy preview, you can find it right here. And now, it's time for the AFC portion of our annual Deadspin fantasy guide ... FLESH FOR FANTASYYYYYYYYY!!!...

Astros Owner Open To Signing Roger Clemens, But Doesn't Want It To Be A "Publicity Stunt"
You have to give the Astros credit. If they're going to go through with this Roger Clemens cahoots-laden charade, they're going to try and squeeze every last revenue dollar out of it....

USADA Chief Confirms Lifetime Ban, Loss Of Titles For Lance Armstrong
In his statement released Thursday evening, ex-seven-time Tour de France-winner Lance Armstrong lashed out at the head of the US Anti-Doping Agency for conducting an "unconstitutional witch hunt." He also criticized USADA for his lack of evidence:...

Lance Armstrong Drops Fight Against Doping Charges, Will Likely Be Stripped Of Tour Titles And Banned For Life
Seven-time Tour de France-winning cyclist Lance Armstrong has dropped his fight against doping charges leveled at him by the US Anti-Doping Agency. This means that he likely will be stripped of each Tour de France title and banned from competitive cycling for life. Specifically, he'll be stripped o...

Report: Ball State Players Caught Trying To Shoplift "Male Enhancement Pills"
It has not been a good day for Ball State defensive end Jonathan Newsome, seen here during happier times in 2009, after securing a trip to the Rose Bowl as a member of Ohio State. Newsome transferred to Ball State last year and was ready to join the team after sitting out his redshirt season. Except...

The Details Of Minnesota State Head Football Coach Todd Hoffner's Child Porn Charges Are Horrifying
Minnesota State head football coach Todd Hoffner's been charged formally with felony counts of using his own children in a sexual performance and possession of child pornography, and the details outlined in the charges are unpleasant to read. The videos, featuring three children under the age of te...

Joe Paterno/Penn State Defenders: Here's Your Chance To Make Your Case
As tends to happen now whenever we write about Penn State, the discussion below our post Wednesday about Graham Spanier and the Freeh report quickly filled up with Penn State supporters responding with varying degrees of anger. (Some exchanges were ultimately reasonable; others were not.)...

Red Sox Skip Johnny Pesky's Funeral, Probably To Get Chicken And Beer Or Something
In case you're keeping score at home, a non-comprehensive list of reasons why the Red Sox are six games under 500: The Red Sox used to drink too much in the clubhouse. The Red Sox aren't allowed to loosen up in the clubhouse. The Red Sox got too fat. Ownership is too concerned with Liverpool. Josh B...

The Baseball Hall Of Fame Probably Wouldn't Change The Rules If Roger Clemens Pitched A Meaningless Game This Year
Yesterday we half-floated a conspiracy theory that Roger Clemens's impending comeback with the Sugar Land Skeeters was a sneaky ploy to reappear in a major league game for the woeful Astros so that he might push his first hall of fame ballot appearance back five years, to 2017. So we reached out to ...

Here Is Former Penn State President Graham Spanier's Response To The Freeh Report
As we told you yesterday, former Penn State president Graham Spanier launched a media offensive that began with a press conference during which his lawyers excoriated the Freeh report and its findings. Later, the New Yorker published a Q&A with Spanier, and Josh Elliot did an interview with Spanier ...

Is This 6-11, 500-Pound Dude From Central Pennsylvania The Largest Football Player Ever?
Aaron Gibson, the former Lions, Cowboys, and Bears offensive tackle, was the heaviest player to ever play in the NFL: He weighed 410 pounds. Richard Sligh, a defensive tackle who played one season for the Raiders while they were still in the AFL, was the tallest man ever to play the sport....

How to Not Look Like a Slob at Dinner
Welcome to A Gentleman's Quest for the Perfect Night Out, a four-part guide written by etiquette expert John Bridges meant to instruct our more testosteroney readers on how to comport themselves during the evening hours. With the help of Clear Men Scalp Therapy, which gives you 100% dandruff protec...

How Paralympians Cheat By Injuring Themselves
The Paralympics are legitimately inspiring—check this promo and you'll be ready to run through a wall—but they are, at the end of the day, athletes. For all the feel-good stories, they're just looking to win. And that means for the Paralympic Games what it's meant for every competition since the daw...

Metta World Peace's <em>Yo Gabba Gabba!</em> Cameo Was As Odd As You'd Think
Having no children, I've never seen Yo Gabba Gabba! and did some research to find out what I've been missing. I think Drew pretty much nailed it back in 2009:...