st Page 1891 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Circadian Advantage: How Sleep Patterns Benefit Certain NFL Teams
Imagine, for a second, that you are in a casino in Las Vegas. You have been in town for a few days, spent too much and slept too little, and recently found out the hard way that you are not as good at poker as you had thought. Now would be a good time to find a wager where the odds, like a tipsy bar...
Baseball Game Delayed While Repo Men Attempt To Collect Bats, Gloves, For Team's Unpaid Cleaning Bills
The Worcester Tornadoes, of the independent Can-Am league, couldn't throw the first pitch of last night's game at 7 p.m., as scheduled. They were too busy dealing with police constables sent to enforce a court order to confiscate the team's equipment. Enterprise Cleaning Co. has cleaned clubhouses, ...
Lax Bro Apologizes To Entire Southwest Flight For Acting Like A Lax Bro
Lax bros are one of the fastest-growing scourges to American society. They are members of a subculture that is composed entirely of privileged white kids with annoying names. Even worse, they are getting attention from the Boston Globe and stupid movies made about them....
French Soccer Stars Will Face Charges For Sexing 16-Year-Old Prostitute
Bayern's Franck Ribery and Real Madrid's Karim Benzema got into a spot of trouble in 2010, when a Paris prostitution ring was busted and their names popped up in a little black book. Even worse, it turned out they had paid for sex with then-16-year-old Zahia Dehar, who, in the players' defense, didn...
How New York's New MLS Stadium Heralds The Return Of The Cosmos
Top-level soccer hasn't been played within New York's city limits since 1976, when the Cosmos packed up for Giants Stadium and took the country's brief love affair with domestic pro soccer with them. The drought might be close to over, as MLS and local politicians seem intent on returning a team to ...
Phoenix Mercury Practice With Mayor, Break His Nose
Greg Stanton became Phoenix's mayor last November in what was called the "nastiest" and "most contentious mayoral Phoenix has seen in nearly 30 years." As nasty as Stanton might be, he's no match for Nakia Sanford's flying elbows....
Dictionary Researchers Credit Gary Carter With Popularizing "F-Bomb"
Once again, it's time for the word-lovin' folks at Merriam-Webster to add a few more selections to their growing collection of vernacular. This year, the word "F-bomb" will be included for the first time, along with sexting, energy drink, life coach, and 96 other entries today into its latest print ...
San Diego State Head Football Coach Might Just Go For It On Fourth Down This Season
Field goals—fuck 'em, right? They've been called "an anachronistic holdover from the game's rugby origins" in this space before, and finally someone with a little cojones (and a football team) may get rid of them altogether....
Stephen Garcia Might've Lost His Fourth-String CFL Quarterback Job To Jordan Jefferson
Stephen Garcia, formerly of South Carolina, formerly of Steve Spurrier's shit list, attended an open tryout for the CFL's Montreal Alouettes this spring. He impressed enough to earn a contract, which put him solidly fourth on the Als' depth chart....
Belarusian Lady Shot Putter Stripped Of Gold Medal For Doping
It's always bittersweet when the Olympics come to an end, and the wait until the next games seems interminable. But take some solace in the knowledge that the coming weeks and months will be rife with failed doping tests and legal battles, and the current medal count is no more permanent than a Bela...
The Time Has Come For America's Flight Attendants To Shut Up
I think we can all agree that the emcee-ization of America's flight attendants has grown steadily worse over the past decade. And today, reader Kurt has sent us (and Gawker) arguably the nadir of flight attendant pep talks. I must warn you in advance that these will be among the two most painfully a...
This Horse Was Ready For The Olympics To Be Over
So despite reports of general good temperament (at least compared to Beijing) we had a few incidents with the equestrian horses provided for the modern pentathlon event. The first, of course, is our rodeo moment, but sometimes the horses decide to jump fences that aren't even part of the course, as...
Netflix Appears To Have Been Acquired By ESPN, FOX Or MLB
Reader Aaron passed along this Netflix suggestion for those looking to sate their military documentary cravings. You've got your Revolutionary war fix, World War II and....what the? Yanks-Sox?...
Watch Some Poor Sap Miss A Wide Open Goal Twice
We can argue for days about what miss is "the worst miss ever." This one is on the list. It is so terribly unthinkable, in fact, that the play-by-play man believed the sure thing goal was waived off for some reason, perhaps offsides....
Ryan Hall Pulled Up Lame In The Men's Marathon
"Sure, God made the universe," Jake Mooney noted in this space back before the Olympics started, "but can he coach an American marathoner to Olympic gold?"...
South Korean Soccer Player Did Not Receive His Medal Because Of Politics
Park Jong-soo played all 90 minutes in South Korea's 2-0 win over Japan in Friday's bronze medal game. As he walked off the field he held up the sign you see, which apparently reads "Dokdo is our territory." The reference is to a group of islands between South Korea and Japan in waters (the Sea of ...
Bill Simmons Has A Pretty Good Seat For Today's U.S.A.-Spain Gold Medal Game
Bill Simmons appears to be unimpressed by what he's seeing. Maybe he'll tweet about it! (He'll definitely tweet about it.)...
McKayla Maroney's Meme Knowledge Is...Impressive
Most impressive. Here is a photo Maroney posted to instagram with teammates Aly Raisman and Kyla Ross posing for a picture at their hotel maybe? Trying to get in a quick swim. Their luck ran out however, as they were informed the pool's closed....
Is A Monster Stalking The River Outside London's Olympic Stadium? An Investigation
LONDON—The River Lea winds its way southeast from the industrial town of Luton to London's East End, where it drains into Thames a couple miles upstream of the ingenious tidal barrier that keeps the capital dry. A tame body of water by any account, the Lea disperses toward the end of its course into...
Here Is A Picture Of John Daly's Ass, For Prostate Cancer Awareness
The ass you see here belongs to golf's loveable rapscallion, John Daly. Daly, by the way, is currently tied for 16th at the PGA Championship with a +1 going into today's third round action. As you can see, Daly wore these pants yesterday. These pants are black with neon-colored hands with their ind...