st Page 1939 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Official, World's Dumbest Criminal Found After Trying To Sell Weed To His Old Parole Officer
We find our man, Cedrick Barnes, in Florence, South Carolina. It seems Cedrick had some extra weed laying around and thought to himself, "I should really sell this stuff." So Cedrick did what any one of us would have: he started cold-calling everyone in his cell phone contacts to see if anyone want...
Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Hunger
I'm going to be wrapping up Josayings because I've had the feeling like he's been in on the joke recently and there has been a lot of poking around and maybe he actually is in on it. Either way, it's better to burn out than fade away so I'll be dropping a few more this weekend that I never got arou...
Here Is Another Gruesome Aussie Football Leg Injury
This time, it was Gary Rohan of the Sydney Swans. During the Swans' match against North Melbourne, Ryan had his feet tangled with an opposing player's and ended up with the bottom of his foot facing upward and a compound fracture of his tibia. He will miss the rest of the season....
Penn State Offered To Rename Beaver Stadium After Joe Paterno So His Family Would Not Sue The School
Penn State and the Paterno family have quickly morphed from college football royalty to a sad episode of The Bickersons in a matter of months. After unceremoniously firing Paterno in the wake of his laissez-faire handling of the Jerry Sandusky allegations, the school offered certain concessions to ...
Manchester United Blew A Two-Goal Lead With Ten Minutes Left To Hold Open The Premiership Door
A win over Everton today would have virtually assured Manchester United yet another Premier League championship—and given the Red Devils were playing at home against a team that has never beaten them in the EPL hasn't won an EPL match at Old Trafford in 20 years, it should have been a lock....
Ray Easterling, First-Named Plaintiff In NFL Concussion Suit, Committed Suicide
Ray Easterling, a plaintiff in a concussion-related lawsuit against the NFL died on Thursday as a result of self inflicted gunshot wounds. Police later ruled it a suicide....
Red Sox Fan Really Wants You To See His Nipple
We're guessing this fellow wasn't feeling so flash-y an inning or so later....
Bobby Valentine Should Be Fired: A Collection
While Fox was patiently waiting for just the right moment to switch over to Philip Humber's in-progress perfect game, the Red Sox were playing out the final innings of a blowout win over the Yankees. Around the time Humber recorded the first out in the ninth, Fox switched over and being in New York...
Bubba Watson Continues Charming The Pants Off Everyone, Has Custom Green Jacket Made For Infant Son
You have to admit, this is cute as shit. As Masters Sunday wore on, we heard more and more about how Bubba Watson had adopted a son, Caleb, just weeks before the tournament. When he won, he spoke about how excited he was to go back home and see him....
Fox Sports Announcer Thinks He Is Interviewing Canucks' Ryan "The Guzzler" Kesler But Is Really Interviewing Kevin Bieksa
Noted troublemaker Kevin Bieksa of the Vancouver Canucks did a number on poor Mike Dunsmore of Fox Sports Radio following Game 4. Dunsmore apparently approached Bieksa thinking it was Kesler and Bieksa just played along. Right from jump street Bieksa references Kesler's controversial quotes about ...
Penn State Admits Official Fired Earlier This Week Was Fired For His Role In Sandusky Investigation
In an admission that shocks absolutely no one, unnamed sources within the Penn State athletic department have confirmed that associate athletic director Mark Sherburne was fired this week for his role in the investigation of child sex abuse claims against former coach Jerry Sandusky and the adminis...
Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Baseball Smells
I'm going to be wrapping up Josayings because I've had the feeling like he's been in on the joke recently and there has been a lot of poking around and maybe he actually is in on it. Either way, it's better to burn out than fade away so I'll be dropping a few more this weekend that I never got aroun...
Florida Beat Georgia Last Night On A 16th-Inning Walkoff Strikeout
Fifth-ranked Florida escaped with a bizarre 3-2 win over Georgia last night in Gainesville, as a rare walkoff strikeout allowed Vickash Ramjit to score from third after Bulldogs catcher Brandon Stephens blundered away what should have been the final out of the 16th inning....
Umpire Greg Gibson Took A Stephen Strasburg Fastball To The Crotch
Ump Greg Gibson, behind the plate for today's Nats-Marlins matchup, was in a Very Bad Place today when Wilson Ramos mishandled a Stephen Strasburg fastball and deflected it right into Gibson's groin area. Gibson bounced back rather quickly—most MLB umps wear cups when working the plate, after all...
Aussie Footballer Robbie Gray Liquefied His Knee
Robbie Gray, the leading goal kicker for Port Adelaide Power last year, suffered this gruesome looking knee injury with less than a minute left to play in a game against Collingwood at Etihad Stadium....
<i>New York Post</i> Front Page Kicks Nonsensical Ass
Fenway Park has been in the news a lot of late. There was the touching Field of Dreams-inspired story of the father and son who built their own replica Fenway in the vastness of Oregon. Then the drunken awkwardness of those loveable idiots, Cowboy Up himself and the Yankees' favorite son. And, of c...
Amar'e Stoudemire Returns, Knicks Flunk Chemistry
The ingredients were all there for wild and frothing beakers to report on the Knicks game last night: A Friday night. A terrible opponent. One superstar is introduced to an otherwise stable (for the Knicks, anyway) environment, with basically nothing at stake. And, of course, weeks worth of wonderi...
Pedro Martinez And Kevin Millar Delivered A Boozy, Awkward Toast To Fenway Before Today's Game
A lengthy ceremony recognizing the 100th anniversary of Fenway Park before today's Yankees-Red Sox game came to a close with former Sox stars Kevin Millar and Pedro Martinez offering a toast, sort of, to the stadium—while sounding a bit like they'd been rehearsing it for some time. (The Red Sox a...
Derek Jeter Is Still Trying To Sell His Apartment (Now $2 Million Cheaper!)
Time (again) to picture what it would be like to be the next owner of Derek Jeter's apartment, where he's lived for the last 11 years....
Oregon Father And Son Build 1/3-Scale Fenway Park Replica On Their Farm
What was your backyard like? Perhaps you had a tire swing, or a play structure, or an above-ground pool. My yard abutted wetlands; mosquitos rose angrily every spring. Chances are, whatever you had, it wasn't as cool as what Jim Maciariello and his son Ben built in Drain, Oregon....