st Page 1951 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

After Signing A $7.8-Million Contract With The Mets, R.A. Dickey Bought A Minivan He Calls "The Millenium Falcon"
"A Star Wars aficionado, R.A. Dickey calls the minivan their Millennium Falcon. His wife calls it 'our big splurge' after he inked his $7.8 million contract with the Mets last winter." He's the best. [The Star-Ledger, image via Getty]...


There Were Three Stooges At Yesterday's NASCAR Event, And They Were Not Named Dale, Darryl, Or Darrell
From the moment he slipped the fire suit over his frizzed hair, Larry knew his dreams had finally become reality. He'd aspired to pilot the speed machine from the time he was five years old, playing with Matchbox—...

Jimmy Roberts Gave Brian Collins A Shout-Out With A "Boom Goes The Dynamite" O-Rena Implosion Voiceover
We've been on top of Brian Collins's career for more than five years now, but it surely must be a highlight of his life for him to hear NBC sportscaster Jimmy Roberts use his catchphrase "Boom Goes The Dynamite" to describe dynamite going boom. [NBC]...

Senate Candidate George "Macaca" Allen Busts His Own Bracket For Local Votes
That damned West region. Norfolk State really messed things up for most of us, but Virginia Senate candidate George Allen didn't need any help. He made a mess of things all by himself. After what must have been a lot of tossing and turning, Allen eventually picked Norfolk State—presumably upon lear...

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: No Matter What
This is a feature wherein we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....

Meet Minor League Guy On Third, The Most Fascinating Cardinals Prospect Since Albert Pujols
My girlfriend is passionate about keeping a scorecard at the ballpark, but she doesn't bother with it when we go to Grapefruit League spring training games. There's so many roster changes and substitutions in the late innings, she says, and keeping up takes the fun out of enjoying beer & sunshine....

Rugby Player Suffers Gruesome Ankle Injury (NSFL)
This video comes from the National Rugby League in Australia and it is an absolute mess. Jharal Yow Yeh (in yellow and maroon) plays (played?) for the Brisbane Broncos and suffered a nasty compound fracture against the South Sydney Rabbitohs. That is bone sticking out. You've been warned....

Houston Dynamo's Colin Clark Calls Ball Boy A "Fuckin' Faggot," Offers Weak Apology
As noted earlier today on Dirty Tackle, Houston Dynamo winger Colin Clark is under fire for blowing up on a ball boy early in last night's match in Seattle. His apology (through Twitter) was of the typical "I didn't mean to disrespect anyone" variety and suggests Clark hasn't been exposed to those...

Your NCAA Tournament Elite Eight, Day One Open Thread
Florida vs. Louisville gets our day started at 4:30 p.m. and then Ohio State vs. Syracuse follows up at 7:05 p.m. Both will be on CBS. Friend vs. Friend, Red vs. Orange, we've got it all! Enjoy the games and lively discussion down below in the comments....

Dubstep Nolan Ryan Wants To Look At That "Tremendous Wiener"
After public outcry and questioning regarding the Texas Rangers' plan to sell a $26 hot dog this season, team owner/president Nolan Ryan took to the Galloway & Company program on KESN-FM 103.3 in Dallas to profess his own curiosity about the behemoth frankfurter. He spoke about it in such a parti...

Peter Crouch Just Scored The Goal Of The Year In English Soccer
Peter Crouch's volley would be astounding in any context, but that it put Stoke up 1-0 on Manchester City makes it that much more a golazo. If Rooney's bicycle goal last season was its top score, Crouch's today is almost certainly that of the '11-'12 campaign. [Fox Soccer]...

Today In Jose Canseco Tweets As Motivational Posters: Don't Quit
This is a feature wherein we celebrate Jose Canseco by creating motivational posters out of his actual tweets. We believe it is in this context that the world can best appreciate our favorite Bash Brother....

Emile Heskey's Elbow Thoroughly Mangled Johan Djourou's Nose
Today's Arsenal-Aston Villa match from Ashburton Grove got off to a violent start as Gunners defender Johan Djourou took Emile Heskey's elbow straight to the beak—though Djourou was as much responsible for propelling his face into Heskey as much as anything. Despite spending several minutes down o...

Canadian Security Guards Have The Best/Weirdest Haircuts
The Toronto Raptors blew out an uninspired New York Knicks team last night 96-79 at Air Canada Centre. Not uninspired (in fact, inspired)? This young woman's hairstyle....

Why Is This NCAA Tournament So Boring?
Unless you have a dog in the race (maybe next year, Rams!), the only truly compelling part of the NCAA tournament is the upset, preferably thanks to crazy buzzer beaters. We've had some upsets, most notably Duke getting bounced by Lehigh and Norfolk State taking over the news cycle for the tourname...

Mickael Pietrus Taken Off Court On Stretcher After Scary Injury In Celtics-Sixers Game
It was a rare and terrifying scene during tonight's Celtics-Sixers game as Boston swingman Mickael Pietrus was immobilized and wheeled off on a stretcher after a hard fall directly onto his spine in the second quarter. The incident was reminiscent of T.J. Ford's 2004 injury, as it's an uncommon s...

Fabrice Muamba Was Alive And Cracking Jokes After Being "Dead" For 78 Minutes
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

For Clobbering Blake Griffin, Basketball Thug Jason Smith Gets A Light Slap On The Wrist
What's the NBA penalty for deliberately knocking down a star player when he's defenseless, trying to provoke a brawl with his teammates, and then waving your arms to gloat and incite the home crowd after being ejected? Two games. File this one away for the next time David Stern gets mad about the dr...

Cops: Bobby Jenks Said He Smashed Into A Car In A Strip Club Parking Lot And Had To Get Out Of There
We told you this morning about Bobby Jenks's DUI arrest much earlier this morning. Now there are more details from Jenks's arrest report, and they do not reflect positively on the Red Sox reliever....