st Page 2047 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

On The Phone With Ron Artest, And Matthew Hiltzik, The Michael Clayton Of Dong Shots
Is this true? "No, not at all."...

Mario Balotelli Punished For "Unprofessional"-And-Also-Failed Backheel Goal Attempt
Mario Balotelli, the 20-year-old Italian striker who plays for Manchester City, attempted a backheel goal in a friendly against the L.A. Galaxy on Saturday, and it did not go well. He missed the goal by a few feet and was immediately pulled from the game. Youth soccer coaches across the world are ...

Eric Wedge's Mustache Tweets From The Dead
From an iPhone, no less. When the Mariners' losing streak reached 14 games Saturday night, manager Eric Wedge made the "drastic" decision to shave his 'stache, thinking it might help with karma or whatever. It didn't, as Seattle lost again to Boston yesterday. The People Against Eric Wedge's Mustac...

Breaking: Oddibe McDowell's Water Bill Is $171.45, But That's Because He Didn't Pay Last Month's Bill
Via Broward County Water and Wastewater Services....

UFC Ring Girl Arianny Celeste Spotted Making Out With A Giant Banana Penis
These UFC ring girls have tough lives, let me tell you. They prance about in bikinis, get schtupped by fighters and create art that would make Michelangelo weep. None of them appears to have more than a lone synapse firing upstairs. This one is Arianny Celeste. She's the queen of the ring girls. Acc...

The Best Argument For Eliminating Offensive Pass Interference
Different football (Australian), different rules (as far as we can tell from watching this televised Calvinball that airs on the wee hours on ESPN2, there are no rules). But we're still awestruck by this move that Carlton's Andrew Walker pulled on Saturday night....

What The NFL Could Learn From A Soccer Match Played At One Of Its Stadiums Last Night
Last night, Real Madrid closed out an undefeated American tour with a 2-1 win over the Philadelphia Union at Lincoln Financial Field, the home of the Philadelphia Eagles. The MLS side ceded those goals early. The scores were impressive, the type you'd expect from a world powerhouse....

Damn It, You Guys, Jay Cutler Dumped His Fiancée
Look at your hands, Deadspin. See that red stuff? It's blood....

This Pre-Race Prayer Might Actually Be The Most Redneck Moment In NASCAR History
Perhaps NASCAR, its Nationwide Series especially, looks like an extended redneck highlight reel, but last night's race in Gladeville, TN offered us one of the redneckiest moments you'll ever see. It came in the pre-race prayer—which, I suppose, duh—but we were so riveted that we shall now thank th...

Stephen A. Smith, The Comeback Kid?
Amateur LeRoy Neiman impersonator Bob Raissman poses a disarming theory in his New York Daily News column today: Stephen A. Smith might actually be doing a good job on an ESPN outlet....

Everybody Feared The Worst When Old Man Brent Musburger Went Rogue In Vegas For A Spell
Your morning roundup for July 23, the day after we learned that high-school tennis coaches really might want to stay away from strip-club ownership....

Stay Tuned On Monday For A Strange Tale Of Sexting With Ron Artest
I called Ron Artest shortly after two this afternoon, for the second time. I wanted to talk about dong shots, and a story we're running Monday about a girl with whom he had a sexy-texting relationship. She wrote for us about the bizarre comedy of texting with Ron Artest. She didn't ask us for money,...

Hope Solo Has Won Even More National Respect By Dunking George Lopez
Yeah, yeah, it's a late-night stunt, and yeah, yeah, Hope Solo doesn't dunk Lopez on the first try. But she sunk the unfunnyman, and that's the point. This feels almost as good as a World Cup....

North Carolina Woman Left Paralyzed After Bachelorette-Party Accident Will Get Married Today
Last June, middle-school teacher Rachelle Friedman was preparing to get married. But then, a friend pushed her into a pool. Playfully. With no malice, Friedman says. She hit the bottom awkwardly, though, and the end result was that she was a quadriplegic....

Report: Bryan Stow Beating Suspect Exonerated, Two New Suspects Arrested
Per the Los Angeles Times, "Los Angeles police have arrested two men on suspicion of beating baseball fan Bryan Stow at Dodger Stadium and have concluded the suspect they took into custody in May was not responsible, a law enforcement source familiar with the investigation told The Times on Thursda...

Former Caddie Has Lost His Respect For Tiger Woods
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Steve Williams's first post-Tiger interview....

Stephen Drew's Ankle Did A Thing Human Ankles Shouldn't Do
Oof. That ankle's at the wrong o'clock. But perhaps even worse is when he snaps it back into place. (If you're squeamish, you may not want to watch the super slo-mo at 0:51, right after the announcer "hopes it's not a possible break.") It is, and Drew's obviously done for the season....

Tiger Woods Dumps His Longtime Caddie, Magically Solves All His Problems
The guy formerly known as the best golfer on earth announced today — via his website — that he was kicking longtime caddie Stevie Williams to the curb. Hell has to response quote like a Tiger Woods sidekick scorned. To wit:...

Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino's Story Got The Taiwanese-Animation Treatment, Too
Will somebody — anybody — pony up $12,000 so we can find out what it's like to hunt a human being, win, lose or drawl?...

Mike Quade Supports A Heliocentric Universe
The moon orbits the earth. The earth orbits the sun. As for what the sun orbits....nobody knows. But on this sunny afternoon at Wrigley Field, a place they tend to play a lot of day baseball, the sun got in Starlin Castro's eyes....