st Page 2103 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cristiano Ronaldo Breaks Real Madrid Goal-Scoring Record
When you sign Cristiano Ronaldo, you don't just get an oily gentleman who looks like he belongs on the Jersey Shore, you also get goals — absolutely loads of them....
Last Night's Winner: Blake Griffin, Dunking Savior
The All-Star Weekend Slam Dunk Contest participants have been leaked, and it's finally acceptable to get excited. Because Blake Griffin is here to make it relevant again, if only for a single year....
LeBron Bashed For Saying Good Things About His Coach Now
Erik Spoelstra was named Eastern Conference coach of the month after the Heat's turnaround. LeBron responded. Not since Descartes, or perhaps Clinton, have so few words been vivisected so utterly and completely....
Just Vote For Jeff Bagwell, You Hypocrites
Jerod Morris idly wondered if Raul Ibanez might've had a little pharmaceutical help, and everyone went nutso. Damien Cox suggested Jose Bautista's numbers were surprising, and he caught shit. So why is it OK to not vote for Bagwell because of "suspicions?"...
All Of Edin Dzeko’s Goals From Last Season … In 2-D!
Unless people are making it all up for a laugh, the big news is that the robed men at Man City have splurged another £30 million on hot European property — this time, Edin Dzeko of playing-for-Wolfsburg fame....
Orioles Pitcher Accused Of Shooting Man Dead On NYE Says Whole Thing Was Silly "Accident"
"It wasn't a thing like we began arguing and I started shooting. It was some accident. It happened by accident. That's why I came here - to open my soul." And that's why he fled. [Baltimore Sun]...
Last Night's Winner: Ricky Williams Is The Real Most Interesting Man In The World
After his comments criticizing just about everyone, either Ricky Williams is done in Miami, or Tony Sparano, Chad Henne and Brandon Marshall are. Yeah, Ricky's gone. Just another chapter in his odyssey....
Buster Douglas Made The Worst Commercial Ever
You've seen bad acting. And you've seen poor boxing. But who else besides former heavyweight champion of the world Buster Douglas could bring you both in a single ad?...
<em>Step Up 4</em> Starring Clayton Kershaw Had A Disappointing Opening Weekend
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Here's The Favre Sexual Harassment Lawsuit
The massage therapists' lawsuit — against Brett Favre; the Jets; and the team's massage coordinator, Lisa Ripi — is below. If you'd like analysis, please consult the many Americans conversant in both the suit's particulars and the relevant case law....
Happy New Year: There Is An American Ryder Cup Captain's Dick Shot For Sale
Somebody wake Dan Jenkins from his afternoon nap and fetch his slippers because there's a wayward PGA penis on the loose. Proud sportswriters, please test that 2011 resolution to ignore this type of tawdry checkbook journalism....
That Was Indeed Jim Rome In The Studio Audience Of <em>American's Funniest Home Videos</em>
An email from Richard Connor, producer of America's Funniest Home Videos of Toddlers Swinging Baseball Bats in the Vicinity of Their Fathers' Unsuspecting Crotches, regarding this morning's screengrab:...
Brett Favre Sued For Sexual Harassment
Two team massage therapists—yeah, these two—have sued Favre and the Jets for sexual harassment. The women claim he propositioned them via text message (for a threesome), and weren't re-hired by the Jets after they complained. And here we go....
Not A Great Day For Peter King
First he discovers (and describes in detail) this newfangled drinking game called "keg standing," or something. Then he makes an unfortunate pun on Arian Foster's name. He's taking this Favre thing hard....
SportsCenter Anchors Celebrate Eric Mangini Getting Fired
We know it's exciting that the Mangenius is gone in Cleveland, but that's no reason for Hannah Storm and Adam Schefter to high-five over it. They quickly apologized, but still: high-five!...
Hey Sara Carbonero! Stay Away From Cristiano Ronaldo!
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
The Losers Win The Weekend
The Seattle Seahawks, with a 7-9 record, will host a playoff game next weekend. Predictably, there are already calls for realignment, reseeding, and an entire rejiggering of the playoff process. We say no: this is an all-time great moment for mediocrity....
Recruits Are Polite Enough Not To Ask Joe Paterno If He's Gonna, You Know, Die Soon
Spry pimp Joe Paterno fielded questions about the Penn State program the morning after it gave Urban Meyer his going-away present in the Outback Bowl. Specifically, questions about his future, despite repeated insistence that he won't retire....
If You Mess With The Skunk, You Get Face Punched
So, former pro wrestler Christopher "The Skunk" Antal, who lost a mayoral bid in Massachusetts and pretended to urinate on a Brazilian flag on his cable-access show, was just charged with punching a 59-year-old woman in the face....
Hungover? Watching Brett Favre Dance To A Vanilla Ice Song Should Help
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....