st Page 2177 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ridiculous Rain Delay Proves Once And For All That College People Have Too Much Free Time
Florida Atlantic and Western Kentucky were mired in a rain delay of indeterminate length and decided to get a little silly rather than adjust their jocks and spit sun-flower seeds like those layabout MLBers. H/T, like, 15 of you. [YouTube]...

Spud Webb Asks For A Boost
Attention, Illustrator junkies. Spud Webb needs someone, anyone to design the logo for his new website. The wage may be low, but the glory will last as long as he can afford to hold onto the domain name. [Mycroburst]...

The Clippers, In A Nutshell: Wealthy Incompetent Bickers With Wealthier Incompetent Over $6.75 Million
Mike Dunleavy claims that Clippers owner Donald "Evict the Bitch" Sterling is stiffing him out of a bunch of money that neither of them really deserves. [LAT, via Slam]...

Ben Roethlisberger Suspended Six Games (Unless He Isn't)
NFL PR confirms that Roger Goodell will suspend the Steelers QB for six games, pending "behavioral evaluation" that could reduce/lengthen the suspension before the season starts. The question: Can he literally keep it in his pants until August? [NFL.com]...

Now's The Time To Talk To Sarah Silverman....
Sarah's down in the comments, awaiting your scorn and scrutiny. Ask her about pooping, talk about your favorite Jews, be insensitive and nasty. You know, be yourselves. Be sure to read the excerpt, buy the book, save the whales....

Excerpt From Sarah Silverman's <em>The Bedwetter</em>
The following is taken from Chapter 1 of Sarah Silverman's memoir, The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee. Chat with her in a followup post....

Lawrence Frank Drops F-Bomb On ESPN's "First Take"
The old Nets coach is still new to live television, so perhaps he wasn't aware that he can still be heard even after a segment ends. Then again, Barkley's been doing this for years and experience hasn't helped him. [YouBeenBlinded]...

Last Night's Winner: Football, As Usual
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. They might have even won NBA or NHL playoff games last night, but who really knows? Let's talk about games that happen five months from now!...

Ridiculously Early All-Star Voting Makes A Mockery Of Popularity Contest
Two weeks into the season and already they want us to cast our votes? Enjoy watching Ty Wigginton, Casey McGehee and Scott Podsednik, America! And I'm sure I-Rod's going to still be hitting .500 come July. [MLB.com]...

Happy 65th Birthday, Shirtless Steve Spurrier
Right now, Spurrier is snorkeling somewhere down in the Bahamas. Judging from that photo, some lucky tropical fish are admiring his chiseled bare torso....

Who Is The <em>SportsCenter</em> Farter This Time?
During an impassioned discussion on the Cleveland Browns, someone on the SportsCenter NFL draft panel cut one, just as Mike Tirico began to giggle. Was this a laughter-induced fart or fart-induced laughter? Who is the flatulent panelist? Deadspin-I-Team, assemble. H/T Steve....

MLB PED Suspension Imminent, Submit Your Wild Speculation PDQ (UPDATE: We Have A Winner)
Rumors say that a "semi-big" Major League Baseball player is about to be suspended for a performance enhancing drug violation. To win the game, you must identify the player, the drug and the ESPN personality they will tearfully "confess" to....

Sexy White Sox Bathroom Sex Horror Story Brought To Life Through Magic Of CGI
The story of Dr. Paul Nemeth inadvertently bringing his 6 year-old son to a live sex show at a White Sox game was the stuff of speculation. It left many questions unanswered, like "Did anyone throw their pants Mean Joe Green style?"...

Big Ben's Woman Problems The Result Of Stunted Psychosexual Development, Says Guy Who Writes About Sports
Ben Roethlisberger mistreats women because he has "deep-seated" issues relating to his childhood separation from his mother-figure. "I think Ben needs help," writes Mike Klis of The Denver Post, who when he's not diagnosing psychosocial pathologies usually writes about the Broncos....

Last Night's Winner: LeBron James, I Guess
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like "LeBrun" James, who scored many more baskets than the opposing team, so I suppose that makes him the best. If you're into that sort of thing....

Just In Time For The World Cup, French Star Visits An Underage Prostitute
In libertine France, it takes a lot to spark a sex scandal. Think an underage call girl will turn do the trick? Franck Ribery could face charges after seeing the girl, though he says he didn't know her age. [AFP]...

DeShawn Stevenson's Horrifying Neck Tattoo Would Like To Invite You To Watch Basketball
Abe Lincoln: our 16th President. Legendary orator. Possible vampire hunter. And now he's back, in ink form, to get Mavs fans riled up. Jesus Christ, it's got teeth....

And Here's A Guy Getting A Handy At A Hockey Game
Not sure who deserves more props - the BU hockey fan receiving some surreptitious manual love, or the private dick who decided to record it. We'll be handing out bonus points for identifying the parties involved....

Lone, Courageous Voice Rises In Praise Of Boston Sports
National columnist Lil' Dan O'Shaughnessy introduces us to a sleepy Northeastern burg that you probably don't know the name of, but actually has several professional sports franchises! (Ergo, they are also the best.) Oh, brother.... [SI]...

CRACK BABY VS. AIDS BABY? An Audio Funbag With Adam Carolla
Worlds are colliding, folks. Number one podcaster in the universe Adam Carolla was nice enough to record an audio funbag with us, in which he answers some of your most probing questions....