st Page 2190 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: Derek Anderson
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Browns occasionally starting quarterback who was finally released from his own personal Purgatory—even if Purgatory isn't exactly sad to see him go....

Brazilian Indoor Soccer Player Dies In Just About The Most Horrific Fashion Imaginable
A 23-year old Brazilian indoor soccer player, Robson Rocha Costa, died Sunday after sustaining injuries in a match. A piece of floor plank pierced his thigh and went into his intestine....

RSS Readers Will Not Get To See Where This Telestrator Vagina Came From
Yes, yes — I know. Those of you reading this on RSS will probably only get a portion of this message and it will leave you wondering, "Hey, what the crap happened to the full Deadspin feed, those greedy basta..."...

Stephen Strasburg Performs Miracle Of Turning 27 Pitches Into Six Outs
Baseball Jesus Stephen Strasburg debuted today against the Tigers and pitched two scoreless innings. He gave up back-to-back two-out singles in the second, finished with a strikeout, and transubstantiated into Miguel Batista. [ESPN]...

Should Connecticut Women's Basketball Be Disbanded?
The UConn women's basketball team has won 71 games in a row, breaking a record set by....UConn, seven years ago. If they keep winning like this, soon even people who care about women's basketball won't care about women's basketball anymore....

Papists Ruining Serie A: Blasphemy Now Suspendable Offense
Chievo coach Domenico Di Carlo has been suspended for this Sunday's match against Bari for taking God's name in vain. Next week: Luca Toni raps your knuckles with a ruler for goofing off during prayer time. [Goal]...

Last Night's Winner: The Boston Yankees
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like ad sales software that scored another big success for targeted online marketing campaigns. Because who needs Yankee tickets more than the people of Boston?...

The Ron Artest Hair Odyssey Gets Cancelled
All that fuss over Artest's purple-and-gold, multilingual hairstyle? For naught. After letting Vince Carter go off for 25, Artest shaved the whole damn thing off. [Twitter]...

Stiffing Captain Lou! The Final A-HOLE BOSS DIGEST
Welcome to our final edition of Asshole Boss Digest, where we regale you Deadspin folk with stories of the meanest, cruelest, most batshit insane bosses, coaches, and teachers you ever had. Off we go....

Quarterbacks No Longer Welcome In Ladies' Room At "Millyvegas" Bar
According to a tipster, this sign now hangs on the door of the women's restroom at The Brick, one of the Milledgeville, Ga., bars visited by Ben Roethlisberger on Thursday night. I think it pretty much speaks for itself....

Pistol-Whipping An Assistant Coach Does Not Help Citadel QB's Playing Time
Quarterback Miguel Starks shared time in The Citadel's backfield in 2009, but those struggles are in the past ever since he was arrested for robbing and kidnapping one of the team's assistant coaches. No one is questioning his leadership now!...

Visiting Reporters Deemed Unworthy Of Watching The Yankees Play
The Steinbrenners require the best of everything, including a luxurious Spring Training field named for Papa George. You wouldn't know it if you're the visiting team's beat reporter, whose press pass ought to be marked "obstructed view."...

Erin Andrews Will Not Be Part Of ESPN's NFL Draft
As we know, ESPN's Erin Andrews will be part of this year's Dancing With The Stars and, according to ESPN, her appearance on the show shouldn't interfere with her other WWL duties. However: no green room this year....

Newcastle Signs Peter Parker, Goblin Attacks Up 32%
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Ron Artest's Hair Odyssey
His rebounds and steals per game are down for the year. But Ron Artest still means defense! Or at least he's gotten it dyed in his newly-platinum hair, in three different languages. He thinks that's what it says, anyway....

Is This What Happens When You Click CBS' March Madness On Demand Boss Button?
We all mocked NBC for the lonely spreadsheet that would come up if you clicked the "Boss Button." But has CBS taken a step back? According to ace tipster Qumar, yes:...

It Was Quite A Night In Cleveland
It was a night of Snuggies, seizures and six (wins in a row for the Cavs) at the Quicken Loans Arena....

The Ravens Have a Wide Receiver? Yes. The Ravens Have a Wide Receiver.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Springtime For Customized Jerseys
Because it's Friday and this has been one of the lamest weeks in recent memory, why not resurrect everyone's favorite clothing-based photo gallery feature, a.k.a., people who wasted a lot of money on ideas they didn't fully think through....

Brittney Griner Suspension Is Typical, But Not Enough
NCAA rules demand that a player who throws a punch in a game get an automatic one-game suspension. Brittney Griner's coach gave her one more to grow on but even if that's normal, it's not really what she deserves....