st Page 2266 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ryan Leaf Used To Be Carried In The Arms Of Cheerleaders, Redux
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Yuk It Up, Stoners. The Olympics Torch Looks Like A Doob.
At left is the official torch of the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, and, yes, I realize it looks like someone rolled up half of Humboldt County in the world's biggest Zig Zag....

And You Thought Winning The Spelling Bee Was A Longshot
"Over the years words like "Ilanders" (Islanders), "Leaes" (Leafs) and "Bqstqn" (Boston) have found their way onto the Stanley Cup, while more than a dozen players and coaches have had their names butchered." That's Sidney with an I, Louise St. Jacques! Someone with a silent S should know better. [W...

Royals Fans Turn Children's Playground Into Thunderdome
Two couples started an all-out brawl at a Kansas City Royals game on Sunday after a woman walked in front another woman as she was taking a picture, a breech of etiquette that clearly deserves a head stomping. If a few kids got hurt along the way, that's just business....

Raiders Come To Terms With Fast, Toolsy Budget Airliner
The Raiders are teaming up with "low-budget, long-haul" Air Asia X and sticking their logo on the tailfin of an aircraft, now dubbed the "Commitment To Excellence" plane. A sad metaphor waiting to happen. [Examiner]...

Yankee Stadium Threatening To Get 100 Percent More Insufferable
Great news! The most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in college football wants to join forces with the most obnoxiously self-indulgent team in baseball. Yes, folks: Notre Dame wants to play football in shiny new Yankee Stadium....

Ricky Rubio Is Already Getting The Hang Of The American Game
The ping-pong balls have barely settled, and already Ricky Rubio, the mopheaded Spaniard who reminds everyone of Pistol Pete if Pistol Pete had discovered the defensive crouch, is strongarming teams in the NBA draft....

The NFL's Alarming DUI Problem
Interesting story by Yahoo's Josh Peter about the NFL's most under-reported problem: "At least 73 players on NFL rosters during the 2008 season have been arrested on charges of driving under the influence..."Yahoo!]...

At Least One Person Still Collects Football Cards
I was not aware that anyone still manufactured or collected football cards—I kind of chose not to be aware—but the market is apparently still strong enough that an on-duty police officer recently felt compelled to shoplift some from a general store....

Who Won The WWE-Denver Nuggets Cage Match?
World Wrestling Entertainment is moving next's Monday's "RAW" session from Denver's Pepsi Center to L.A.'s Staples Center, because of the conflict with Game 4 of the NBA Finals. But which petulant business owner really comes out as the victor here?...

New Land Shark Stadium Upgrades Include Creepy Old Man Cam
There are plenty of new amenities for Parrotheads and Dolphinheads alike at Jimmy Buffet's Land Shark Stadium, but one of the most potentially troublesome is a device for the well-to-do horny fellas not interested in the game to eye-grope the cheerleaders....

Holy Crap, David Ortiz Hit A Home Run
Light-hitting Boston infielder becomes the 320th major league player to hit a home run this season. It's okay to believe in America again, people. [Boston Herald]...

Mark Buehrle's Truck Will Cause Ice Caps To Melt
One alert emailer sent along this photo of the White Sox hurler gassing up his famously scary truck constructed by demonic gorilla robots from some dusty holocaust netherworld....

The Sordid Life Of Clippers Owner Donald Sterling
Just in time for the lottery, ESPN The Magazine has a look-see at the walking abomination known as Donald Sterling, Clippers owner and a man of discerning taste. Dislikes: blacks, Mexicans, children. Likes: Koreans, blowjobs....

In Praise Of Dr. Z
In an otherwise touching account of Monday's benefit for the stricken Dr. Z, Peter King shares this depressing detail: "It's been almost six months since he's spoken, and he can't write, and he can't read."...

Hell No, We Don't Want Bobby V. To Go!
Rally the troops! Chiba Lotte fans are protesting to retain manager Bobby Valentine, hanging this banner: "We would rather fight with Bobby, who says we're the world's best fans, than with a front office who calls us worthless." For you non-Japanese speakers, that roughly translates to Backwards K. ...

Amy Mickelson Diagnosed With Cancer
Phil Mickelson has suspended his PGA Tour schedule indefinitely after learning that his wife, Amy, has breast cancer. He has withdrawn from the next two events and she will likely have surgery in the coming days. [Star-Telegram]...

Mets Fan Swallowed By Citi Field Toilet
Oh, Mets fans! It feels like the whole world is out to get you, but honestly, you're kinda asking for it. When one of you goes diving into a baseball stadium toilet after a gold tooth and gets stuck ... we're all a little embarrassed for you....

Selena Roberts On Whitlock: "Perhaps There's A Little Homophobia There"
This week's Deadcast guest is Selena Roberts, the author of A-Rod and columnist for SI. Did you know Selena is the daughter of hoboes? It's true!...

Never Try To Steal A Car From Najeh Davenport
If you see a car parked on the street with the engine running, you'd probably be tempted to jump in and take a ride. Just make sure it doesn't belong to Najeh Davenport, because he will chase your ass down....