st Page 2321 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

After Abilene Christian's 93-Point Saturday Afternoon, Fans Ask What's Next?
Stuff you may not know about Div. 1-AA II Abilene Christian University: Their quarterback, Billy Don Madison Malone, was once the heir apparent to J.P. Losman at Tulane, and some says he's better. Wilbert Montgomery, who still holds the franchise rushing record for the Philadelphia Eagles, is a prou...

Citi Field and Manchester United: Your Tax Dollars At Work
The government's bailout of our collapsing financial industry continues apace—you got your check, right?—but now that these companies are playing with our money, suddenly everyone is an expert. Some are suggesting that maybe the reason these firms are in trouble is because they like to waste money a...

Enjoy The Whimsical Coaching Stylings Of Jimmy Patsos
In our latest edition of Coaching Tactics For The Comically Insane, we present Loyola. Md. coach Jimmy Patsos, who had a foolproof way to defend Davidson's Stephen Curry on Tuesday. Patsos rolled out the triangle-and-two, and with devastating effect: Curry was held scoreless. One problem, though. Pa...

Yeah, What Is That Smoke You're Blowing, Mr. Artest?
So, I completely missed this upon first viewing of Ron Artest's vlog post, but thanks to Pete Gaines, it was brought to my attention: Artest appears to be smoking...something. Maybe it's a cigarette. Maybe it's a napkin stuffed with pine needles. Maybe he's doing a dragon impersonation. Or, you know...

Blue Nail Polish, Cinderella Diapers And You
Brian Urlacher's estranged lady friend, Tyna Robertson, told a Will County Court on Tuesday that she barred Urlacher from seeing their 3-year-old son because Urlacher painted the child's toenails blue and allowed him to wear Cinderella pull-up diapers. Note to Bears fans: This story includes the ter...

Tuesday Night Live Blog: Western Michigan at #15 Ball State
Please accept the harmonious balance of David Letterman and Tim Allen's alma maters, respectively, to infiltrate your Tuesday night plans. The undefeated Ball State Cardinals welcome the 9-2 WMU Broncos, and the winner is in the MAC Championship game. Fun fact: It's not illegal to shout "jump" in a ...

A-Rod Not In Touch With His Inner Jewishness
Uh oh, guess who was busted for skipping his Kaballah classes? One Mr. Alex Rodriguez is in so much deep shit with Madonna it's not even funny. MSNBC is saying that the Yankee has cancelled private classes with "spiritual leader" Eitan Yardeni, who was supposed to guide A-Rod around the bases of cos...

Have Sex The Fundamentalist Way, Minus The Robes
The most fascinating story I read all week, without question, was this New York Times story about Rev. Ed Young in Grapevine, Tx. encouraging his parishioners to have sex with each other. Life's gotta be pretty dull for a preacher sometimes — "Lord, forgive me, but if I have to give another endless ...

Myron Rolle, Gentleman (Rhodes) Scholar
I'm sure you've heard the tale of Florida State safety Myron Rolle, who won a Rhodes Scholarship on Saturday afternoon in Alabama, then flew to Maryland (on a plane, we assume) played in his team's game that night, then killed a wild boar with his bare hands and fed his entire squad with it at the p...

Ted Williams' Daughter Likes To Paint, Has Issues
According to Leigh Montville’s book “Ted Williams: The Biography of an American Hero,” Williams was a distant father, who missed the births of son John Henry and daughter Claudia, the former for a fishing trip. His non-parenting of course caused no repercussions, as is seen in adult Claudia's happy,...

Lenny Dykstra Never Disappoints In Interviews
I had the pleasure of interviewing former Phillie/Met Lenny Dykstra over the phone last year when he launched his extravagant "Players Club" magazine. As a Phillies fan, this was one of those moments that was completely surreal and exciting — and he was stoked ( I believe he actually said "stoked") ...

Nudie Magazine Seeks Student Sportswriter For Good Time, Possible Relationship
The first line of Playboy's advertisement immediately caught my eye: Do you think you have what it takes to be the next Rick Reilly? Oh, do go on! America's favorite ensconced-in-plastic magazine wants your help again, and they ain't looking for commenters this time. Playboy U is looking for a stude...

Young Allison Stokke Takes On Erin Andrewsness In An Epic Battle of Doability
With SHOTY in full swing, the results of In Game Now's "smoking hot pseudo athlete thing", and now the final round of The Big Picture's "Would you do..." Tournament of Champions, it's obviously online voting season for sports blogs. They are down to their final two contestants: The second seed, nubi...

The Legend Of Scotty Brooks
As you may be aware—if anyone can ever truly be "aware" of Oklahoma City basketball—the Thunder fired head coach P.J. Carlesimo on Friday, because frankly ... the beard has seen better days. More importantly, he has been replaced on an interim basis with a name I thought I might never hear again—Sco...

College Football Roundup: At Least You Don't Live In Michigan Edition
Yesterday I landed in Detroit for Thanksgiving. Our first stop upon arriving was an Italian restaurant where my wife's grandmother was celebrating her 80th birthday. I'm standing at the bar watching the the Titans-Jets game on the television and occasionally a sports fan from Michigan wonders by to...

Tim McCarver Needs A New Broker
No matter what your opinion is about America's most prominent baseball explainer, you have to feel for Tim McCarver a little bit after hearing this story. He's suing the brokerage house Morgan Keegan & Co, because even though McCarver told them to invest his money in safe, low-risk ventures, they (l...

So What Was That Ugly Red Stain on the Field During the Jets-Titans Game?
Yesterday, KOGOD posted an update on the Jets-Titans game that featured what appeared to be an ominous looking giant blood stain in the middle of the field. It was speculated that Albert Haynesworth, who popped up from that spot and ran off the field clutching his face, had some sort of open facial...

So Abilene Christian Scored A Few Points On Saturday
Assuming that the band plays the school fight song following every touchdown, this tuba player most likely fell over dead around about the middle of the third quarter on Saturday. It was Abilene Christian vs. West Texas A&M in the second round of the NCAA Div. II football playoffs, with Abilene pull...

Ravens Slingshot Back Into AFC Playoff Picture
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap Oh, eventually you will stop, Brian Westbrook, yes you will. Baltimore's Althea Barnes makes the play, although where Westbrook's forward progress is marked is anyone's guess. Kind...

Viagra Could Be The Next Drug On Sports' Banned List
The World Anti-Doping Agency is looking into whether Viagra provides enhancement on the field as well as it does off. According to research, the assisted blood flow that gets your johnson jonesin' can also increase your cardiac performance. ...