st Page 2326 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Fat, Drunk And Stupid Is No Way To Go Through West Virginia, Son
When you're so drunk and obnoxious that you're heckled by your fellow West Virginia fans, you know it's time for an intervention. Meet someone whom I assume is named Larry ... or possibly Rodney. But first please turn down the volume if you're at work, unless you want your co-workers to start chanti...
Happy Valley, Bloody Sunday Morning
How long must we sing this DUAN? College football team has unusual amount of success; college students and townies with a taste for danger stumble into the streets; police break out the riot juice; hilarity ensues. Welcome back to the club, Penn State! Your celebration after last night's defeat of O...
David Stern Invites Seattle to Watch Their Ex-Girlfriend With New Boyfriend
On the weekend before the NBA finally returns to action after its six-week sabbatical after the NBA Finals, we must take one more moment to remember one city that will not be joining the rest of us in our journey this season as Oklahoma City tries to pretend they can support both an NBA franchise an...
Comcast Customers in Philly Swing, Miss at Seeing Home Runs
We started receiving rather angry emails just after midnight. No, our ex-girlfriend hadn't left her Mail Goggles off accidentally. (She never leaves it off accidentally.) The emails came instead from angry viewers in and around Philadelphia, describing their anguish and rage over missing the back-to...
Fog Slowly Lifting On NFL Steroid Scandal
Remember how yesterday it was reported that a whole bunch of Saints, including Deuce McAllister, tested positive for steroids, or steroid masking agents, or something else equally illegal? Well, the man on the scene Chris(t) Mortensen has learned himself a few names to go along with those allegatio...
The Deadspin Pub Opens Early This Morning
Holy crap, don't these Brits know we're trying to sleep over here. I'm jetlagged and there's know way in hell I'm waking up at the crack of dawn to watch the Red Devils. But still, it's a pretty good game, so I'll probably be arriving at my couch in about an hour. If you are up for the early match ...
College Football Preview: Check Your Messages Knowshon
LSU fans aren't only the most insane in college football, they're also the most resourceful. Perhaps insanity and resourcefulness aren't conflicting traits after all. Why do I say this? Because for the second year in a row LSU fans have made the cell phone lives of their opponents miserable. You'll ...
Pittsburgh Police Praise Santonio Holmes' Performance During Drug Bust
Some people might say it's foolish to smoke pot in your car, especially when you're driving it around with expired plates, but in Pittsburgh it's not what you do, it's how you react after being confronted with your misdeeds that matters. It seems that Steelers wide receiver Santonio Holmes made the ...
Wait ... Is That The Tampa Bay Rays Music?!
What you missed while witnessing nature's classic battle between deer and poodle ... • World Series: Rays win 4-2 as it becomes inevitable this thing is going 7 games ... [NBCSports] • College football: (Noel) Devine intervention ... West Virginia comeback beats Auburn [USA Today] • NBA: That'll be ...
Thursday Night Preview: Auburn at West Virginia
Tonight ESPN brings you a match-up of teams whose fans are pissed with their lives, their teams, and the fact that it's only October and they're already prepared to start discussing next year's football season. What's the most surprising thing about both teams so far this season? How godawful the of...
Blues Announce Sarah Palin Puck Drop; Forfeit Season
Noticing how seamlessly everything went together when the Philadelphia Flyers tried it, the St. Louis Blues thought that they'd get in on some of that sweet Sarah Palin puck-droppin' action theyownselves. The Blues confirmed Wednesday that Palin will drop the first puck at the Scottrade Center on Fr...
What Are The Odds That It Was A Shirtless Matthew McConaghey Who Took This Picture?
What you missed while filling your pants with delicious shrimp ... • World Series: Less cowbell, more Lidge ... Phillies take 1-0 series lead. [NBCSports] • NFL: Is Mike Holmgren headed to the 49ers? Well, he is this weekend, anyway. [USA Today] • NHL: Flyers fans thrilled with Roenick's return; Fly...
Your Final 2008 Serving Of Red Sox Fail
And so with the World Series about to begin, we say our final goodbyes to Red Sox Nation, and I can think of no clearer metaphor for their season than this. A Red Sox fan giddily announces that she's going to run onto the field at Fenway, but she only makes it halfway down the steps before taking a ...
Um ... Go, Vikings?
What you missed while contemplating other uses for your banana holder ... • NBA: Kobe Bryant's season with the Lakers has started swimmingly [NBCSports] • NFL: Cowboys fans to get another generous helping of Tony Romo on Sunday [USA Today] • NHL: Hey, let's all get a Barry Melrose Mohawk! [The Sport...
LA Times Sports Writer Chooses Not to Lop Off Penis; Paper is Thrilled
LA Times sports writer Mike Penner made national news last year when he wrote his "Old Mike, New Christine" column about his life as a transsexual and his decision to undergo surgery so he could become "Christine Daniels" for the rest of his journalism career. Well, just like a fickle woman, Mike ch...
Not Possible!: The Legend Of Steve Buckhantz
You may remember me saying earlier that I'm not a huge NBA fan, but maybe that's because I don't get to watch enough games narrated by Steve Buckhantz. The Washington Wizards play-by-play man is shall we say ... easily excitable. Like Gus Johnson-level excitable. And because this is the way things w...
Joba Chamberlain Will Not Tolerate Any Strip Club Heckling
I have no idea how Alex Rodriguez is not involved in this story, but here goes. Remember how Joba Chamberlain was nailed for DUI at 1 a.m. on Sunday in his hometown of Lincoln, Nebraska? Here are the inspiring details of that evening, which ended with our portly hero being pulled over for speeding i...
Boston College Linebacker Is Indeed Breakable
Boston College linebacker Brian Toal is a tough guy. He's had a rough college career filled with injuries, but the redshirt senior will not be beaten. Some—like the Boston Globe—might even say he's unbreakable, as they helpfully remind us on today's front page. Right next to the story about his brok...