st Page 2342 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Just Because Justin Gimelstob Doesn't Like Her, It Doesn't Mean He Can't Stare Intently
Here's a photo from Down The Line that shows Washington Kastles hard-on Justin Gimbelstob admiring Anna Kournikova's newly-inflated kaploogas at a recent World Team Tennis match in Washington D.C. Gimbelstob, as you may remember, not-so-famously said that Kournikova was a "bitch" and that he "despis...
F1 Chief Max Mosley Doesn't Like Nazi-Themed Sex Parties After All
At least according to the British courts. Thanks to stricter privacy laws in the UK, Mosley sued and has been awarded 60,000 pounds for having his reputation "ruined." Which, to me, seems like an amazingly small amount of money for a reputation. But what do I know? Said Justice Eady per the Guardia...
The Official Communist Party Quick Travel Guide To The 2008 Beijing Olympics
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....
Bartman Spurns $25k Autograph Offer
Putting a quick end to the will he or won't he autograph spectacle, Steve Bartman is not going to appear at the National Sports Collectors Convention in Rosemont, Illinois. Interestingly, Bartman issued the response through his friend Frank Murtha. Meaning that Bartman himself remains hidden away i...
Eastern Kentucky Wideout Faces Prison Time, Permanent Emasculation After Botched Shoplift
There might be a reasonable explanation for why Eastern Kentucky University wide receiver Davin Walker was shoplifting at Wal-Mart. Being a specialty player at a school like Eastern Kentucky (although Dan Patrick did play basketball there for two years) usually doesn't provide a livable income or ex...
Please Refrain From Soiling The Spirit Of The Olympics With Your Hirsute Homosexuality
Here's an amusing story out of Washington involving an alternative lifestyle organization (The Northwest Bears) and the stuffy policies of the United States Olympic Committee. The Bears were busy promoting their annual summer campout which they originally dubbed "Kamp Kodiak 2008 Olympic Village," u...
ESPN Mum About Timberlake "Shuckin' And Jivin'" Comments
Last Wednesday, when Justin Timberlake hosted the ESPY Awards, he received mostly positive reviews for his first-time hosting abilities. The entire event went off hitch-free and was perfectly entertaining for those who love watching sports figures and entertainers ham it up at pointless awards shows...
Steve Bartman Offered $25k for a Single Autograph
Reclusive Cubs anti-christ Steve Bartman has incentive to come out into the light of day thanks to a $25k autograph offer from a sports collectors show. According to the Orlando Sentinel this would be the most ever paid to a living person for a single autograph. What exactly does Bartman need to do...
Cradle of NFL Quarterbacks Moves From Rustbelt to Gulf Coast
In an interesting article over at KCChiefs.com, Bob Gretz looks at where NFL quarterbacks are raised. He eliminates several states with large populations that produce tons of athletes: Texas, California, and Florida and focuses in on the states of Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama....
Nascar's Tony Stewart Donates 30 Bulletproof Vests to Police Dogs
No longer content to continue reading about brave police dogs who died because they weren't wearing vests, Tony Stewart has come to the rescue. The vests cost $695 each. If you didn't know that police dogs wore bulletproof vests then you roll with Chris Samuels and Clinton Portis and hate animals. S...
Carson Palmer Loves Ohio State Fans Now
We all know he was being honest when he said Ohio State fans sucked. You can agree or disagree with the statement but at least it was honest. Now, predictably, Palmer has backtracked from his statement and isued a new one regarding Ohio State and their fans. Have we really reached the point where qu...
Steve Young Assesses The Brett Favre Mess
I don't think I'd be out of line in saying that Steve Young is an oasis in an ESPN desert of crapitude. Any man who was constantly subjected to Joe Morgan's and Michael Irvin's ramblings on a regular basis and yet kept a positive outlook is pretty much my hero. Also, he was a fair quarterback, I hea...
Goodnight, Sandman, Goodnight
You might remember Sandman for his mid-'90s ECW feuds with Tommy Cairo and Raven, or the infamous Singapore Caning. But these days, James Fullington is branching out. He was arrested on Sunday night after a spree of drunken mayhem, which included throwing an entire tray of beer glasses at the police...
Frank Beamer Knows How To Get Blacksburg Women Interested In Football
Approximately 500 women attended "Frank Beamer'sLadies Clinic" last Sunday, an event organized by Virginia Tech's head coach to inflict some of the local gals with a shot of Hokie pride and, according to Beamer, "get some of these ladies to talk a little football and say some things up in the stands...
Jeremy Shockey Breaks Through New Orleans Douche Levee
This is Jeremy Shockey. You might remember Jeremy from the time you drafted him two rounds too high in your fantasy draft because a) He played in New York, and b) You're subconsciously just a bit racist. Jeremy, seen here trying to convince a woman to go home with him so he can give her Hepatitis ...
Is Mary Beth King Being Phased Out Of Monday Morning Quarterback?
Congratulations to Mary Beth King, daughter or Peter King, target of KSK's ire, on her new internship.(This photo is not of King and his daughter — I hope.) Of course, PK writes about this internship in today's Monday Morning Quarterback column and her position may create another moral quandary for ...
South Carolina Cockominiums Headed to Auction
Do you see what they've done there? They've combined condominium and cock. Which usually only happens on South Beach. Anyway, the condo craze came to Columbia, South Carolina and condo towers went up around the wasteland that is Williams-Brice Stadium. But it seems the real estate market is not as r...
Carson Palmer Despises Ohio State, Jim Tressel, and Their Fans
It's a good thing Ohio State fans are so worldly and forgiving. Because otherwise Carson could be in some hot water. Evidently Palmer, a noted USC and Pac-10 homer, went on Los Angeles sports talk radio and brought the thunder....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while actually making plans on weekends from here on out... • 6:00 p.m. — MLB: Boston Red Sox at Los Angeles Angels. Tim Wakefield, it's up to you to prevent your team from getting swept. [whoosh, crack] Really? That's your plan? [ESPN] • 7:30 p.m. — Movie: Ghostbusters. We came, we sa...
Fake Exclusive: Will Leitch Wants To Unretire From Deadspin
He holds sports blogging's most heralded records for posts, pageviews, and consecutive days blogged. He also holds the dubious record for most HTML tags left open. Will Leitch stepped down as Deadspin editor last month. But now he's making headlines as he's hinting toward returning to the sports blo...