st Page 2356 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
What you missed while attending a beauty pageant with Ronaldo ... • MLB: Santana makes it to 100, says he owes it all to clean living. Mets 6, Dodgers 1 • Tennis: If your name has vic on the end of it, congratulations. • Motor sports: Ryan Briscoe goes very fast, wins big trophy....
Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee In A Pringles Can
By anyone's estimation, Frederic J. Baur lived a full life. The organic chemist and food storage technician lived to the ripe old age of 89. He and his wife had two sons and four grandchildren. But chief among his accomplishments, he thought, was his design of the Pringles can. That's why, come chec...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while keeping your opinions to yourself......
Enterprising Red Wings Fan Finds Clever Way To Give The Penguins More Money
19-year-old Zach Smith, native of Cleveland but lover of the Red Wings, devised an ingenious scheme that would not only allow him to throw an octopus on the ice of Mellon Arena last night before Game 4 but still be able to watch the game after he got tossed. His very canny, super savvy plan: buy an...
Manny's 500th Homer Inspires Bouts Of Tumbling
If you don't properly fumigate for Red Sox fans, they'll show up in droves at your stadium. Take cautionary measures, people. That was the case last night at Camden Yards, as the vermin all packed in for a chance to see Manny Ramirez's 500th homaaaahhh. And the high-fivin' one came through. One guy ...
The Legend Of Kimbo Slice Takes 38 Consecutive Blows To The Head
I can't speak for the other MMA newbs out there, but I learned a few things during the EliteXC broadcast last night: apparently all MMA fights are stopped well before necessary. That and Kimbo Slice might not be living up to his outsize reputation. First, the announcer described internet sensation w...
If R. Kelly Should Be On Trial For Anything, It's Inspiring This
The MERKIN mercilessly turns out attention to this spoof of R. Kelly's "Ignition" honoring the Red Wings' Henrik Zetterberg. Does this mean he pees on girls, too? ...
From Cheerleader To Puck Bunny
NHL.com wises up, hires former Texans cheerleader to...something something cheerleader. [Japers' Rink]...
Bill Simmons Puts On His Defeatist Hat
Oftentimes, Boston sports fans cringe when people uphold former Boston Sports Guy and current L.A. resident Bill Simmons' ramblings as a representative of their thoughts as a whole. And that's even when he thinks Boston teams are doing well. Some of them are taking added umbrage with Simmons' most ...
Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! Beat L.A.! (Yes. Boston Is Going To The NBA Finals.)
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who has a funny feeling the Spurs aren't going to repeat this year. When he's not stating the glaringly obvious, he can be found mocking someone or something at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
NBA Playoffs: Celtics-Pistons, Game 6
Basketbawful has broken out the highest quality Wiccan spell components - coffin nails, dead sea salt, glory water, graveyard dirt, and a very phallic ritual candle - to uncover the darkest mysteries of tonight's NBA playoff game....
Red Auerbach, Early Anti-Flopping Advocate
Big kudos to Bullets Forever for discovering this suddenly topical clip of Red Auerbach extolling the evils of flopping. You tell 'em, Red....
About Last Night
What you missed while paying tribute to Hedley Lamarr ... • NBA: Lakers complete their half of a potential Lakers-Celtics 1980s reunion. LA 100, San Antonio 92. • MLB: Welcome back, Joe. Here's another loss. Mets 8, Dodgers 4. • Horse racing: Big Brown guarantees Triple Crown victory....
The Wacky, Life-Changing Saga Of Roger Clemens Continues To Unravel
Everybody's favorite crackpot country crooner, Mindy McCready is being questioned by the FBI about her relationship with Roger Clemens. The Feds are hoping she'll disclose some sort of lucid information that will prove Clemens perjured himself about his steroid usage and they can put him in jail....
Julian Tavarez, Still Crazy, Still Losing Stuff
Next month, we'll be heading to Fenway Park to see our Cardinals play the Red Sox. We've been trying to calm our parents down; they're a little afraid Boston fans will come after them for wearing Cardinals garb. We don't think so. Cardinals fans and Red Sox fans have always gotten along well, thanks...
Ray Allen Reunites With Jump Shot, Celtics Win
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who says you should never let friends drink and drive. Or go home with an ugly chick. Unless he has a really great personality. When he's not giving bad advice, he can be found doing the thing at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...
About Last Night
What you missed while visiting the no-longer-leaning Tower of Pisa ... • NBA: Due to some sort of mixup, Celtics and Pistons combine for more than 200 points. Boston 106, Detroit 102. • NHL: Penguin Lust ... they're going cracy for Crosby! Pittsburgh 3, Detroit 2. • MLB: Chase Utley commands the ele...
NBA Playoffs: Celtics-Pistons, Game 5
Basketbawful has pulled out some 20-sided dice, a bag of chicken gizzards, and the Skull of Destiny to give you the inside skinny on tonight's NBA playoff game. (And there's one skinny thing that had better not be at the game...)...
Kristen Bell Would Do Naughty Things To Chris Osgood
I've had that dream again: Elle Bishop from the TV show Heroes is taking a sponge bath in the Stanley Cup. What does it mean? Actually, it's based in truth: Actress Kristen Bell is a big fan of the Detroit Red Wings — specifically of Chris Osgood — and would also like to get some time alone with the...
Oye Como Va! Twice The Santana Means Twice The Fun
Please do not confuse Johan Alexander Santana Araque, pitcher for the Mets, with Ervin Ramon Santana, pitcher for the Angels. One is from Venezuela (chief exports: Petroleum, bauxite and aluminum) and one is from the Dominican Republic (predominant religion: Roman Catholicism). Unfortunately, we ar...