st Page 2364 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

1st Round, Thirteenth Overall: Panthers Select Jonathan Stewart
Okay, where's Tanier going here? Is going to go the "Jon Stewart" route and make lots of Daily Show (or "The Faculty") references? Is he going to make fun of Oregon's Rejected Nickelodeon Teen Superhero uniforms? Maybe go old school for some Jimmy Stewart references? ...

1st Round, Eleventh Overall: Bills Select Leodis McKelvin
Oh where do parents find names like "Leodis"? Well, smart guy, it turns out that Leodis was the Olde English name for the woods that eventually became the English township of Leeds. The word "Leodis" is mentioned several times by the Venerable Bede, and there are few sources as venerable as the Ven...

1st Round, Eighth Overall: Ravens Jaguars Select Derrick Harvey
We used to call guys like Harvey "tweeners." Now they're called "hybrids." Scouting gibberish has gone green...

Red Sox Wine List Thankfully Missing "Sweet Carowine"
The Red Sox, hawking wine for charity and sheer annoyance. [Sox & Dawgs]...

Passersby Were Amazed By The Unusually Large Amounts Of Blood
This bloodied but unbowed runner is Alicia Follmar of Stanford, who took a spill at the start of the women's distance medley at the prestigious Penn Relays. She quickly recovered and managed to finish third....

Your Weekend Of Name Recitation And Breathless Speculation Hath Arrived!
Yes, ESPN's draft coverage is underway, four hours before the Dolphins shock the world by picking Jake Long. Now they're saying Chris Long is going to the Rams. Let's tip all the picks hours in advance. No reason to make it so people actually watch the draft. For those who stick around, choose betwe...

Teddy Wins His First Presidents Race!
Only to get disqualified by Screech, the world's most useless mascot, for cutting a corner of the warning track. He was just following Cartman's advice! That's okay, because I found Frank Robinson sitting with me in the bleeds down the right field line. As for the game, the Nats jumped to a lead wi...

About Last Night...
What you missed while mixing your sports metaphors......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after surviving the Great Jell-o Snack Pack Disaster of 2008 ... • Boxing: Middleweights, Andrey Tsurkan vs. Jesse Feliciano, at New York (9:30 p.m., ET). The return of El Rayo! [ESPN2] • NBA playoffs: Eastern Conference first round, Game 3, Detroit Pistons at Philadelphia 76ers (7 p.m...

Anyone Can Throw A Knuckleball!
We've always thought if there were a mainstream sports breakthrough for a woman, a sport in which a woman could compete on the same field as men, it would be as a knuckleball pitcher in Major League Baseball. It doesn't require strength, and you need to be smart. And not just women can do it: Old me...

Finally, A Pro Baseball Team With Glow-In-The-Dark Caps
How many times have you asked yourself, 'Why can't I see my favorite baseball cap logo when the lights are out?' (If you're like me, plenty). Well, if your favorite team is the Casper Ghosts of the Pioneer Rookie League, then you don't have that problem. This season the Ghosts (formerly the Casper R...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while recovering from spousal carrot-related violence ... • NHL: Second-line wing helps Wings wing Avalanche, 4-3. • MLB: Ah, the lost art of the doubleheader sweep ... not to mention the .028 ERA. Indians 9-2, Royals 6-0. • NBA: Rockets realize it's a best-of-seven deal, begin tryin...

Kenneth Keith Kallenbach Finally Gets His Wings
Howard Stern fans will know Kenneth Keith Kallenbach for his lifelong membership as one of the "Wack Pack" and his odd, disturbing, unfunny bits as the stoner kid with the big dreams that would never amount to anything. A Philadelphia area native and Phillies fan, Kallenbach was one of those "comedi...

Hey! NCAA! Look Over There! Some Guy's Blogging!
You might remember, back in December, when the NCAA unleashed its hilarious rules on live blogging, which included this gem about how often live blogs could be "updated":...

Rich Rodriguez Era Off To A Rousing Start
Former University of Michigan offensive lineman Justin Boren is now officially an Ohio State Buckeye, a development which has caused much gnashing of teeth around college football. This is the first time ever that a Wolverines player has gone over to play for their most hated rival, which should rai...

Tracy McGrady Is The Reason You Sometimes Feel Lonely
The Tracy McGrady death watch will continue tonight in Salt Lake City, where authorities are planning a raid on the McGrady compound after reports of multiple episodes of martyrdom. It's all getting ugly for Tracy....

Ken Griffey Jr., Quiet, Slugging Non-Steroid User
Ken Griffey Jr. is three homers away from his 600th, which would make him only the sixth man to reach the lofty plateau. The other five are Barry Bonds, Babe Ruth, Willie Mays, Hank Aaron and ... Sammy Sosa. Sportaphile wonders: Why isn't everybody talking about how amazing a milestone it is?...

Look Deep Into The Gullet Of Joey Chestnut
Actually, he shares the blog with fellow competitive eater Pat Bertoletti, and in the above video, he shows off his training regimen. Yes: He fires himself for eating asparagus by listening to Rob Zombie. Who wouldn't?...

Don't Make Them Angry. You Wouldn't Like Them When They're Angry
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't wait for the new Hulk movie and thinks Edward Nortan is the perfect heir to Bill Bixby. When he's not watching NBA officials river dance, he can be found admiring Roger Mason's superhuman strength at Basketbawful. Enjoy! They're finally awake now....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while attending Hitler's birthday party ... • NBA: Mr. Bryant, party of 12; your seat in Round 2 of the playoffs is ready ... Lakers 122, Nuggets 107. • MLB: 10,000-K Run ... Cubs reach milestone win total, and it only took them 107 years. • NFL: Whoever had Dallas in the Pacman Jone...