st Page 2451 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night...
• Arena Football. Columbus Destroyers 74, NY Dragons 43. And the 7-9 Destroyers clinch a playoff spot. Parity reigns in the Arena League. • MLB. Seattle 9, Cincinnati 1. Never a good sign when you give up a grand slam in the first inning, is it, Kyle Lohse... • WNBA. San Antonio Silver Stars 71, Con...
This Seems Like It Should Be Illegal
I don't know what that little creature is capable of, but it seems to be effective in teaching Australian girls how to swim faster. A much more dangerous alternative would be to release this guy into the water....
If Nenad Krstic Wasn't Such A Sex Object, This Wouldn't Be Happening
The man just puts people in the mood for porno. And soon, Nets fans won't have to go far to satisfy their jones....
An Unspectacular Arsenal
Bad news for Arsenal fans ... in fact, bad news for all Premiership fans. Thierry Henry is taking his nifty feet and moving to Barcelona. With the move, Arsenal now seems like just another team while Barcelona inspires thoughts of, "Holy Christ, look at that line-up."...
About Last Night...
• MLB. Yankees 7, Giants 3. Barry Bonds' homerun chase continues to distract people from the fact that the Giants suck. • WNBA: San Antonio Stars 70, New York Liberty 63. That'll teach you to trade Becky Hammon, New York Liberty. • MLB. Red Sox 2, Padres 1. Matsuzaka out ueled Greg Maddux, but the b...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 2 p.m. Boxing with Dan Raphael: No kicking, no gouging. And none of this! (bonk!). • 2 p.m. NASCAR with David Newton: Pit crew made up entirely of monkeys. Innovative, or just wrong? • 3 p.m. ESPN host Stuart Scott: My wife does not ap...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while you were up to your ass in geese ... • College baseball: Rematch in the finals ... it'll be Heels vs. Beavers. Get it on! • Soccer: U.S. one win away from that sweet, sweet Gold Cup. • MLB: Cleanup on aisle one! ... Rockies rock Rocket, Yankees swept at Coors....
Your Importance Is Minimal, Child
We don't mean to imply that Jeff Gordon's newborn child — Ella Sofia Gordon, born yesterday at 9:09 — isn't going to be the most important person in her own family, but the following paragraph appeared on his official site today. (Via the Celebrity Baby Names Blog ... now there's a blog! It's almost...
This Is Why That Child Was Beating Your Ass
As anyone who watches "The Colbert Report" knows, children are a national menace that plan on taking the planet from us. And, to expedite the process, they're all now taking steroids....
Tony LaRussa Is Sexier Than You Think
We don't mean to imply that vegetarians are inherently unsexy people, but we think that maybe they need to upgrade the attractiveness level of their celebrities. One of the nominees for PETA's sexiest vegetarian is ... Tony LaRussa....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. NFL with Jeffrey Chadiha: Girdle pads ... OK to wear to the movies? • 2 p.m. MLS w/Chivas MF Sacha Kljestan: I will look upon your treasures, gypsy. This is understood? • 4 p.m. Football scientist KC Joyner: You fool, that's too ...
All The Big Stars Come Out To St. Louis
Texas Tech coach Bob Knight and "Arliss" — sorry: "Arli$$" — star Robert Wuhl were guests of Cards manager Tony La Russa during last night's brutal, nasty, hideously played 14-inning Cardinals-Royals game. (The Cardinals won, but it was not something they should be proud of.)...
About Last Night
What you missed while mowing the front lawn with scissors ... • College baseball: No ants for you! Oregon State 7, UC Irvine 1. • MLB: Sammy Sosa hits No. 600, pending results of your analysis. • MLS: Just a glorified Crew ... Columbus over Kansas City 2-1, like we had to tell you....
Kenny Anderson Will Make You Sweat
In non-Reggie Theus coaching news, yesterday, former NBA point guard Kenny Anderson was hired yesterday for a new coaching gig. And it's in that favorite place for us to drop by from time to time: The CBA! Since we saw you last, CBA, you've pared down a lot of your teams, though the Butte Daredevils...
Rick Ankiel Is Going To Be Here Any Minute Now
Oh, it's so close now, friends ... As you know, our serious, debilitating man crush on Rick Ankiel makes it nearly impossible for us to have even the slightest bit of perspective on him. Every time we think about him, we want to give him a Harold Reynolds. We still wear the jersey every time we play...
Mike And Mike Are Everywhere You Look
All told, we think we gave Mike and Mike too hard of a time on the whole spelling bee thing. They weren't so bad; maybe they toned down the schtick for ABC. Anyway, as part of ESPN's plan to have Mike Greenberg (the gay one) and Mike Golic (the fat one) broadcasting every event that Berman and Tiric...
The Real Irony Is They Just Mopped That Street
Many years from now, when we all have personal jet packs and Brett Favre finally retires, mop jousting will be as commonplace at buttered toast. ESPN will have four channels devoted to it, all hosted by Mike Golic. Your kid will be in a mop jousting league. Every family will own at least seven mops....
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for tonight's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. Fantasy MLB w/Tristan Cockcroft. I'm tellin' ya, life ain't easy for a boy named Cockcroft. • 1 p.m. NHL w/Scott Burnside: Hockey puck-shaped Krispy Kremes ... an idea whose time has come? • 3 p.m. FB Recruiting w/Craig Haube...
Elijah Dukes Is On The Air
We hope you weren't trying to get through to WDAE Radio on Tuesday, as various members of the Dukes family had the phone lines jammed pretty much all day. We hate when that happens. Tuesday was Fun Day for Ron Diaz and Ian Beckles over at the Ft. Lauderdale station, as an agitated Elijah Dukes calle...
