st Page 911 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Twins' Jonathan Schoop Smashes Baseball Into The Damn Kuiper Belt
They say a massive asteroid will zoom within 20,000 miles of Earth in the year 2029. Perhaps this “asteroid” is in fact the mighty dinger of some titanic batsman from elsewhere in our galaxy. You can’t rule it out! At any rate it is no doubt in the spirit of such intragalactic exchange that Minnesot...
Hurricanes' Justin Faulk Waltzes Out Of Penalty Box And Directly Into All Kinds Of Glory
Hurricanes defenseman Justin Faulk was hit with a two-minute hooking penalty at the 9:51 mark of the second period of Wednesday’s Game 3 of the Islanders-Hurricanes series, with the score tied a one goal apiece. The Canes successfully killed the ensuing Islanders power play, which functionally ended...
Robert Kraft Might Appear In A Courtroom After All
Palm Beach County Judge Leonard Hanser ordered Robert Kraft to appear in court at an upcoming hearing scheduled in the New England Patriots owner’s criminal case. Kraft is charged with two counts of misdemeanor solicitation of prostitution after he was one of about two dozen men caught in a Jupiter ...
MSG Shareholders Sue James Dolan, Reportedly For Spending Too Much Time With His Band
A group of shareholders in the Madison Square Garden Company claim that MSG CEO and Knicks owner James Dolan is paying himself way too much money for a job he’s barely doing. Court records show shareholders filed a civil suit against Dolan in Delaware chancery court in late March, alleging that he d...
Deadspin Up All Night: Look At The Things That You Do
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. In honor of a good pal and his ongoing friendship, here are several thousand words on the Mekons....
Lucky Bounce Puts Michael Chavis On Base; Unlucky Bounce Gets Him Out At The Plate
Red Sox rookie Michael Chavis really went through it in the second inning of Boston’s 7-3 win today over the Oakland A’s. The second baseman knocked a grounder straight up the middle to Chad Pinder that would’ve been an easy double play if it hadn’t bounced off second base and into the outfield. Ins...
Jazzy Ellis Was A Teacher Who Wanted To Be Set On Fire, So She Became A Stuntwoman
Jazzy Ellis got an Ivy League education, became a teacher, and then left to fulfill everything on her bucket list the only way she knew how: by becoming a stunt performer. ...
Draymond Green Got In Shape And Turned Back Into A Defensive Menace
After he spent the regular season fighting his teammates, averaging 7.4 points per game, and getting ignored by defenses, Draymond Green has taken a few old textbooks out of his hefty backpack and showed up to the playoffs with an intensity and focus unseen for almost a year. The Golden State Warrio...
The New USA Gymnastics Director Of Sports Medicine Lasted Just One Day On The Job
It doesn’t seem possible that one organization could find as many different ways to fuck up as USA Gymnastics has over the past several years, but they somehow added another one to the list earlier this week. On Monday, the bankrupt USAG hired its first-ever full-time director of sports medicine and...
Here's The Name Of The Year Final Four
In 1985, Belgian psychologist Jozef Nuttin published a landmark study in which he revealed that people have a general preference for the letters in their own names over the other letters in the alphabet. The idea is that the sight of those letters provides a temporary self-esteem boost that affects ...
The NBA Got Out Of Basketball's Way
When Allie LaForce was dispatched to get a postgame interview from Tuesday’s Rockets-Warriors game, she or maybe her producer chose the sport’s third eye, Klay Thompson. Not bad, as these things go. Thompson is always a better choice than nearly anyone else for these say-little-and-then-go-inside se...
IAAF Now Officially Allowed To Discriminate Against Caster Semenya
South African track star Caster Semenya has lost her appeal against the sport’s governing body, IAAF, and will have to take medicine to lower her natural levels of testosterone if she wants to continue to compete in her best event, the Court of Arbitration for Sport announced today. ...
Justin Gimelstob Steps Down From ATP Board
Justin Gimelstob, the highly connected tennis figure with a long history of alleged violence, is resigning from his post on the ATP board of directors. Gimelstob felt he had become “too much of a distraction and a liability,” he told the New York Times from Madrid, where he had flown to personally d...
Brad Marchand Has Given Up Being Creatively Annoying And Just Punched A Guy In The Back Of The Head
The truly frustrating thing about Brad Marchand is that he’d be a star without all the bullshit. He’s on the top line of the team with the best odds to win the Cup because he’s really, really good at hockey, not because of the other stuff. It’s just that the other stuff—“pest” feels insufficient to ...
The Warriors' Death Lineup Is, Well, Death
The Warriors took Game 2 of their second-round series with the Houston Rockets, 115–109. Golden State didn’t play especially well, and the Rockets were able to hang around and give the impression of putting up a fight, but only in the way that a small child can be said to put up a fight while you pu...
Steph Curry's Finger Mangled And James Harden's Eye Gouged In Opening Minutes Of Game 2
Basketball fans had every reason to expect Game 2 of the Rockets-Warriors Western Conference semifinal series to be ugly, with the Rockets working the officials in embarrassing fashion and franchise enemy Scott Foster assigned to the refereeing crew. But this was not the start that anyone imagined!...
More Like Adam Wayne-Rooney, Am I Right
The perennially overhyped Washington Nationals loaded the bases against Cardinals pitcher Adam Wainwright in the second inning of Tuesday night’s game in D.C. The bad news for Nationals fans is, they did it on an intentional walk of eighth batter Wilmer Difo, which put pitcher Aníbal Sánchez at the...
Deadspin Up All Night: Blue Monk
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Please leave all dedications to our departed comrades in the comments. ...
Football Writers Dust Off Their Old Dumb Takes About Domestic Violence, Somehow Make Them Dumber
Since the Kansas City Chiefs indefinitely suspended Tyreek Hill last week for his alleged role in breaking his 3-year-old son’s arm and for threatening his fiancée in a leaked audio recording, the NFL Knowers have dutifully donned their thinking caps and pondered solutions. What the actual problem b...