st Page 943 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Don't Forget That Rams Owner Stan Kroenke Is A Shitbird With Bad Hair
For what feels like the 74th straight season but is actually the third, the Patriots are in the Super Bowl. Everyone hates them, for a suite of reasons both worthwhile and petty. While I still would like the Rams to win out of spite, in the abstract, a Super Bowl championship for owner Stan Kroenke ...
Humorless Pittsburgh News Station Fires Employee For Graphic Calling Tom Brady A "Known Cheater"
A Pittsburgh TV station has fired an employee who used a chyron calling Tom Brady a “known cheater” into a broadcast on Monday, SI.com reported. ...
Jahlil Okafor, Of All People, Leads The Gutted Pelicans To A Road Victory Over The Rockets
The list of guys who couldn’t play Tuesday night for the Pelicans is very nearly a list of every established and half-decent player on the roster. This was a nationally televised game against the surging Rockets, and the lineups foretold an ugly, lopsided massacre:...
Proud Hockey Parents Mark Son's First Professional Fight By Coming Nowhere Close On Celebratory High Five
Late in the second period of Tuesday night’s Jets-Bruins game, Bruins youngster Trent Frederic threw down with Jets wing Brandon Tanev. Tanev, perhaps lulled into a false sense of security by Frederic’s apple cheeks and youthful complexion, was truly not at all ready for the hands:...
Deadspin Up All Night: Beg Your Pardon
Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Good night....
NHL Suspends Predators' Austin Watson For "Ongoing Issues With Alcohol Abuse"
Nashville Predators forward Austin Watson has been suspended indefinitely without pay by the NHL, and has entered the second stage of the league’s substance abuse program, for “ongoing issues with alcohol abuse.” ...
NBA Fines Anthony Davis For Self-Tampering In Public, Alarming Onlookers<em></em>
ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reported Monday that the NBA was investigating Pelicans center Anthony Davis for self-tampering in front of God and everyone. Davis expressing (through his agent) the desire to be traded, on and all over the record, scandalized the Pelicans to the point that the team put ou...
Today Was Somehow The Stupidest Day Yet In The Bryce Harper Sweepstakes
Today felt like it could have finally been the day we got some movement in the frigid pursuit of the two top free agents in baseball, but it was not meant to be. Despite what felt like all of Philly Twitter trying to will it into existence, Bryce Harper did not sign with the Phillies on Tuesday. Why...
What Does Miguel Almirón’s Record Transfer Mean For The MLS?
You see what you want to see when you look at Miguel Almirón’s reported MLS-record $27 million transfer to the Premier League’s Newcastle United....
God Help Us All, DeMarcus Cousins Is Fitting In Perfectly With The Warriors
For six months, Steve Kerr urged caution. Yes, DeMarcus Cousins joining the Warriors was a ridiculous coup, but Boogie’s recovery from an Achilles tendon tear was going to take time. Sure, the four-time all-star’s arrival in Oakland on a one-year rental represented yet another instance of Golden Sta...
Tokyo 2020 Is Trying To Hide Its Use Of Unpaid Workers By Calling Them Its "Field Cast"
With less than two years to go until the Olympics and already several billion dollars over budget, the Tokyo Olympic organizers have unveiled their plan for hiding the reliance on volunteers to perform the basic services for athletes and fans at the Olympic Village and at the competition venues: cal...
Lonzo Ball Would Prefer To Be Traded Where He Can Start Right Away, Just As I Would Prefer To Stalk My Enemies From Atop A Mighty Tyrannosaur
The Lakers are expected to offer some combination of young foundational players to the Pelicans in exchange for Anthony Davis, who requested a trade from New Orleans over the weekend. The most prominent of those young players is one Lonzo Ball, who by this time last year was viewed as the crown jew...
Golfer Loses $100,000 Thanks To Bullshit Violation Of New Rule
Haotong Li should have finished in a five-way tie for third place at last weekend’s Dubai Desert Classic. It would have been a somewhat disappointing finish given that he came into the final round only one shot off of the leader’s pace, though he still would have left the United Arab Emirates with a...
Right Now There Is No Answer To Novak Djokovic
Novak Djokovic heaped pre-match praise on his final Australian Open opponent, because it was a deeply familiar one. “Nadal has historically throughout my life and career been the greatest rival that I ever played against on all the surfaces,” he said of their 52-match tug-of-war, which had split 27-...
Can WWE Be Trusted With Intergender Wrestling?
The Royal Rumble is where WWE usually pulls out its biggest surprises of the year, with debuts and nostalgic returns littering the titular matches, in which 30 men and 30 women enter one at a time, and the match continues until 29 of them have been thrown over the top rope to the floor. The winners ...
The Laws Of War Are Still Trying To Solve The Quandary Of Legal Nukes
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
Naomi Osaka Found Herself In Danger, Turned Into A Robot, And Held It Down
It could have unraveled so quickly for Naomi Osaka. Up a set and 5-3, having whittled Petra Kvitova’s service game down to 0-40, Osaka had three straight opportunities to claim her first Australian Open. None of them got her there. First Kvitova tore the court open with her fiercest groundstrokes, l...
A 50 Percent Free-Throw Shooter Helped Seal Purdue's Upset Over Michigan State With Six Straight Free Throws
After a historically terrible opening half, Michigan State began to look like its No. 6-ranked self in the second half of its game against Purdue on Saturday. The Spartans were down 55-32 with just over 13 minutes in regulation, but went on a 24-5 run to cut the Boilermakers’ lead down to four, 60-5...
