super Page 128 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Kings Stay Home, As The NBA Plays Sacramento Like A Fiddle
So that's that. After three years of very public courtship from Seattle, three years of fans preparing for the worst, the Kings will remain in Sacramento. Yet it's the NBA that got everything it could have wanted from this whole ghoulish process....

Carmelo Anthony Is Going To Be A Luxury Timepiece Columnist
Sure, why not? I mean, I don't know what kind of person is going to buy a magazine dedicated to covering luxury watches, but I imagine that it is the same kind of person who would enjoy getting their coverage of luxury watches from Carmelo Anthony. ...

Jim Nantz Nearly Jumped Into The Stands During The Super Bowl Blackout
CBS got hammered for its dreadful coverage during the Super Bowl blackout, and Jim Nantz is finally ready to talk about it. When the lights went out, the announcer says, he called his producer and offered to jump into the stands from the broadcast booth and race down to the field to offer aid to str...

Soccer Fans Chase Own Team Off Pitch, Likely Cause Relegation
On Sunday, storied Greek side AEK Athens gave up a late goal in a crucial late-season match. Angry fans stormed the field, causing damage and injuries. The game was abandoned, and because of that, AEK will be docked points—enough to guarantee that they will be relegated for next season....

As Sacramentans And Seattleites Fight To The Death Over The Kings, The NBA Counts Its Money
Three weeks from tomorrow, the NBA Board of Governors will vote on whether the Kings will be sold to Chris Hansen, who would move them to Seattle, or to a Sacramento group committed to keeping the team in town. They're bidding against each other, and no matter who wins, both cities will lose....

Someday, The NIT Will Have Over 9,000 Viewers
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Every Cold-Weather City Should Host The Super Bowl
Despite the objections of Joe Flacco, next year's Super Bowl will be played in lovely northern New Jersey. It might be windy. It might snow. But as long as no great disaster happens, like thousands of trapped fans at Seacaucus Junction going Donner Party on each other, the NFL will make a lot of mon...

The Potential New Sonics Arena Sure Would Have A Lot Of Standing Room
The optimistic Seattle ownership group led by Chris Hansen has released some mock-ups of what the interior of a new arena might look like, and huh—it looks a lot more crowded than the last time the Sonics played in Seattle....

"A Women Kissing A Nerd," "Beyonce Girating Her Vagina," And Other Angry Complaints To The FCC About The Super Bowl
Beyoncé is a "slut." She "gyrated her pelvis," "humping the air for 13 minutes." She "dressed like a stripper" dancing in "erotica fashion." Her "breasts protruded out, her butt almost completely showed." She "showed her vaginal area to all the world." Some people had very different reactions to the...

Wild Animal Bites Soccer Player Mid-Match
Can animals be idiots? Or maybe we can call Zurich's Loris Benito an idiot for trying to capture the marten—which Wikipedia informs is a wolverine/badger-like animal that feeds on squirrels, rabbits, mice and human digits apparently—during a Swiss Super League match with FC Thun today. He was able...

Robert Swift Finally Left His Foreclosed Home, But He Left Plenty Of Memories And Shell Casings And Feces Behind
Two weeks ago, we played a very depressing game of Where Are They Now? with Robert Swift, the big man who in 2004 jumped right out of high school to the Sonics at 12th overall. Beset by injury and ineffectiveness, Swift never put it together. In 2009, released by the Thunder, he refused a D-League a...

Ed Reed And Eddie Money Sang "Two Tickets To Paradise" And It Was An Uncomfortable Mess
Singing Eddie Money's "Two Tickets To Paradise" sort of became Ed Reed's thing during the Ravens' Super Bowl run. He sang at the send-off before the game and at the celebration in Baltimore after the win. And probably a million times in between in the shower, too—stupid Geico commercial—but this, ...

Former Sonic Robert Swift's House Has Been Foreclosed On, But He Refuses To Leave
Things haven't looked up in a while for Robert Swift, taken 12th overall by Seattle in 2004. He bailed on a 2009 D-League assignment after two games, citing personal reasons. He spent a year playing in Japan, but that team folded, unable to stay afloat on the star power of Robert Swift....

Joe Flacco Wasn't The First To Consider Leaving The Sideline To Tackle An Opponent
After the Super Bowl, it was revealed that Joe Flacco had seriously considered running onto the field from the sideline to tackle Ted Ginn if Ginn had broken off a big kick return on the last play of the game. Flacco's idea was a ridiculous one, and would have resulted in the 49ers being awarded a ...

Two Savannah State Students Recorded Themselves Sneaking Into The Super Bowl
If walking past dozens of police and security guards while sneaking into the Super Bowl is not brazen enough for you, these two guys decided to film themselves doing it, too. According to Savannah Morning News, what you see below is "footage of how they snuck into the stadium just in time for Beyo...

<i>Saturday Night Live</i>'s Cold Open Spoofed The Super Bowl Blackout
It's been a week since the Super Bowl, but Saturday Night Live is a weekly show, unfortunately airing the night before Super Bowl Sunday, so they just got around to pointing out the uselessness of studio shows. Keenan Thompson as James Brown guides the skit and has some fun when, at his wit's end, h...

Five New Jersey Mayors Are Threatening To Withhold Police And Emergency Services From Next Year's Super Bowl
Many a lame observation has been made about the likelihood that next year's Super Bowl at MetLife Stadium will be ruined by bad weather like the stuff we've got now. It's silly. Rare is the storm that dumps a foot of snow on the New York metropolitan area, and rarer still is the football fan that wo...

Louisiana Hates Snow, Is A Buzzkill
Remember Patriots-Raiders in 2001? The Snowplow Game? Dolphins-Cowboys on Thanksgiving 1993? A bunch of games from the 1940s and 50s that most of us weren't alive for? Snow games might be low scoring, but they are awesome, and people want more of them....

Roundup: The Best Beyoncé Photoshop Contest Submissions
We knew that a Beyoncé-themed Photoshop contest would yield hilarious results, and you guys did not disappoint us. Here are the best of your submissions. ...