take Page 24 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A-Rod Finally Worth $252 Million To The Texas Rangers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Why Is Someone Who's Purportedly Pacman Jones In Handcuffs Again? (UPDATED)
According to cincinnati.247.sports, "the car [Pacman Jones] was driving was forced off the road and onto the sidewalk by another car. As a result Jones apparently hit a pedestrian....

This Is Probably Not Matt Kemp's Penis
Despite MediaTakeOut trumpeting this as the Dodgers outfielder choking up on his swing, we're dubious. And we've seen some athlete dong in our day....

The 4th Of July Hot Dog Eating Contest Was Just A Big Old Mess Of Sweat And Vomit
We deputized AnimalNY's Bucky Turco to document the goings-on in Coney Island yesterday. This is what he came back with. ("Sorry, just woke up," he writes.)...

Kobayashi In Court Today To Answer For Hot Dog Disruption
Takeru Kobayashi, upset over a non-compete clause in his contract, started all kinds of trouble in Coney Island yesterday. He's facing charges of obstruction, resisting arrest, trespassing and disorderly conduct. If this is a stunt, the DA's not in on it. [AP]...

Here's Video Of Kobayashi Getting Arrested At The Coney Island Hot-Dog-Eating Contest
Takeru Kobayashi didn't compete in today's Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest, but he showed up at Coney Island anyway and got himself arrested. We were there and got some video....

Deadspin Classic: Our Visit To The Hot Dog Eating Championships
Three years ago, the former proprietor hereabouts immersed himself in the world of moist sausage and watched as a proud America reclaimed what is rightfully hers: the world championship for cramming hot dogs in one's distended mouth....

Drosselmeyer Wins The Belmont Stakes
Yes, it only lasts two-and-a-half minutes, but that's what makes it such an ideal candidate for real-time updating! I'll only be writing about the race itself, so we'll be out of here in no time....

Preakness Infield Exposé: I See The Blush Upon Thy Ass Cheeks, Maryland!
On Saturday, photographer Andrew Snow and writer Alan Siegel ventured among the bottoms and bottomless mugs of beer in the Preakness infield. Their report and a gallery, after the jump....

An Illustrated Timeline Of The Maria Menounos "Shit Talking" Crisis
This morning, on ESPN's popular variety program First Take, TV personality Maria Menounos, speaking to Jay Crawford, said that she enjoyed live-Tweeting NBA games because she got to engage in "shit talking" with her followers. The Twitterverse went to DEFCON-2. A timeline....

Lawrence Frank Drops F-Bomb On ESPN's "First Take"
The old Nets coach is still new to live television, so perhaps he wasn't aware that he can still be heard even after a segment ends. Then again, Barkley's been doing this for years and experience hasn't helped him. [YouBeenBlinded]...

Tailpipe: "... His Touch Sending Her Senses Into Overdrive"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Why Don't More Famous People Have AIDS?
I went to park my car the other day and the spot I parked in had a parking meter that was out of order. It is ILLEGAL to park in a spot with a meter that's out of order. You'll get a ticket. I cannot tell you how angry this makes me. It's not my fucking fault the meter is out of order. And now we ha...

The Preakness Promise: You Will Get Hammered On The Infield This Year
After a ban on outside beverages led to a huge drop in attendance last year, officials at Pimlico Racetrack are changing course. Still no outside drinks, but $20 gets you a bottomless mug of beer. This plan has no flaws....

Another, More Pissy, Theory About What Happened In A Milledgeville Bathroom With Ben Roethlisberger
I secretly hoped that the always entertaining, exclamatory MediaTakeOut would have something dopey to add to the sexual assault allegations against Big Ben and good googly moogly did they ever....

Barry Melrose Shares The Secret To Smooth Canadian Skin: "Chickenshit"
Here's Melrose on ESPN's First Take, explaining how he keeps away the crow's feet. Dana Jacobson later apologized, because god forbid someone say "chickenshit" on a show that's basically the television equivalent of smearing our faces in bird crap. [YouBeenBlinded.com]...

Dear God, Make Me A Bi-Plane, So I Can Fly Farve, Far Far Away From Here
These "Airplanes (Bi-Plane) Handcrafted of Bud Light Limited Edition Viking Cans" will fly you to just within miles of your destination before getting intercepted in mid-air. Cash Only! [Craigslist, via]...

'Double Crown' Just Doesn't Have The Same Ring To It
The New York Racing Association says it's running low on cash, and might have to close their three tracks. That would mean no Belmont Park. And that would mean no Belmont Stakes....

Amazingly, Tiger Heeding Rick Reilly's® Advice And Taking An Indefinite Break From Golf
For real? Woods has decided that his philandering has done enough damage to warrant this type of dramatic action. Read what the robot on Tiger Woods.com tells all the people:...

Jay Crawford: ESPN's Resident Hard-Ass
This is an excellent story. Take heed, North Jersey adult league recreational baseball pitchers: If you plunk the First Take host in the back of the neck, he may kill you. Full [Sic'd] story after the jump:...