take Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Don't Think Stephen A. Smith Watches Much Football
On this morning’s First Take, an ESPN show for people who really should have slept in, Stephen A. Smith broke down tonight’s Chargers-Chiefs throwdown by reminding us to keep an eye on Spencer Ware (out with a foot injury), Hunter Henry (out since May with a torn ACL), and Derrick Johnson (no longer...
Stephen A. Smith And Will Cain Debate About Debating
The only way First Take can ever feel genuine or unscripted is when its loudmouths end up talking shop on air. Stephen A. Smith, a sputtering whoopee cushion that can be palpated to produce sports-adjacent commentary, got into it with milquetoast chud Will Cain on today’s show....
The Constitution Is Garbage<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about doors, gym TVs, pull-ups, broadcaster fights, and more....
Everyone's Mad At Bill James For Being An Old Dummy
Bill James, father of sabermetrics, consultant for the Boston Red Sox, and guy who routinely shares the sort of opinions that get him publicly clowned by his daughter, unleashed a doozie last night....
Trump's New Attorney General Has A Wealth Of Sports Takes
Jeff Sessions resigned today as Attorney General of the United States at the request of Donald Trump. The Lilliputian bigot, a former Alabama Senator better known as The Keebler Elf But Racist, will be replaced for now by chief of staff at the Justice Department Matt Whitaker, a hulking bald Iowan w...
Profusely Sweaty Michael Irvin Had To Be Wiped Down While Screaming About The Cowboys On <i>First Take</i><em></em>
With the Cowboys playing the Titans tonight, former Dallas receiver and current TV loudmouth Michael Irvin was on First Take this morning, and goddamn, was he sweaty. Despite the best efforts of the production crew, he continued to glisten throughout the segment....
Race-Baiting Troll Phil Mushnick Is Really Reaching For Excuses To Be Racist Now
What’s that cranky old knob Phil Mushnick been up to lately besides scolding Joakim Noah for being an ungrateful black person because Noah said he’s against war? Other race-baiting shit, it seems. Today, he published a column titled, “The sick, disturbing video that ESPN thought was a laugh riot,” w...
Vlad Guerrero Jr. Actually Not Good, According To Brain Genius Who's Proudly Never Watched Him
Here is a hell of a take!...
Michael Kay Says Yankees Lost To Red Sox Because Math Can't Account For The Soul Of A Baseball Or Whatever
You are going to groan so loudly that everyone within a five-mile radius will hear it and several of them will immediately call the police when you listen to this conversation from The Michael Kay Show, about the failures that caused the Yankees to lose to the Red Sox in the ALDS. It’s unbearable....
James Harrison Has An Unconventional Solution For Le'Veon Bell: Fake Injuries
James Harrison, the Steelers all-time sack leader, went on Second Take Tuesday, to talk football and the ongoing Le’Veon Bell situation with Skip Bayless and Shannon Sharpe. Harrison was reliably anti-authority and pro-players looking out for their money during his playing days, and here he was firm...
I Ate Like A Football Player And Suffered Like A Blogger
This week, Deadspin and Jezebel swap beats to celebrate America’s most dangerous and controversial pastimes: football and fashion, two sports that have far more in common than you think....
Shake Shack Is Our Most Overrated Fast Food Restaurant<em></em>
Before I get into the Funbag, I have a special announcement: The DEADCAST is coming to Chicago on Sept. 17, a week from Monday. That’s right. We’re gonna have a bigass Monday Night party and you, dear Chicagoans, are invited. You can find all the details right here. And if you plan on being at the s...
So I Guess We're Blaming The Buffalo Bills For Acts Of Domestic Terrorism?
The premise of this breathtakingly insane Politico article really is—swear to God—that Timothy McVeigh blew up the Alfred P. Murrah building in Oklahoma City because the Buffalo Bills couldn’t win a Super Bowl. The author attempts to say otherwise, but he also says this:...
Moron Supreme Court Nominee<em></em> Doesn't Believe Dez Caught It
We already knew that illegitimate Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh had predictably conservative political views, god-awful taste in food, and questionable finances, but does it shock you to learn that he has bad sports takes, too?...
Stephen A. Smith(?) Delivers Motivational Speech(??) To Syracuse Football Team(???)
How and why ESPN shout-master Stephen A. Smith ended up sermonizing to the Syracuse football team doesn’t really matter. Whether he was invited to meet the team or just happened to stumble into a room with a bunch of football players in it, something like this was always going to be the result:...
Keith Hernandez Has Some Takes On Jose Ureña Beaning Red Hot Ronald Acuña
The Braves’ Ronald Acuña Jr. has been raking as of late, hitting .471/.514/1.235 (!) over his last eight games, with eight homers over that time frame. He’s also led off with a homer in each of his last three games against the Marlins. In some players’ Weird Baseball Logic, that means, accordingly, ...
The Constantly Stupid Braves Announcing Booth Has Infected Jeff Francoeur
Even in a profession that asks old men to talk about baseball non-stop for four hours a night, the Atlanta Braves’ announcing team stands out for its dedication to infuriating dumbassery. Most often, it’s the duo of Joe Simpson and Chip Caray who do the heavy lifting, running their mouths about suit...
Weird-As-Hell <i>USA Today</i> Blog Reads Like Ad Copy For The Qatar World Cup
We’re all in agreement that holding the 2022 World Cup in Qatar is a bad idea, right? Like, historically bad, since both the oppressive heat and the lack of infrastructure make the tournament such a logistical nightmare that it has to be played in December, with an entire city created from scratch t...
How Well Did The Belmont Stakes Crowd Know Triple Crown History?
The crowd at the Belmont Stakes was an uneven split between people who were just there to party and horse racing die-hards who make up the entire population of the Park the other 51 weekends of the year. On the morning before Justify won, we talked to representatives from both groups....
A Day At The Belmont Stakes
ELMONT, N.Y.—From just about 20 feet back from the track at the Belmont Stakes, watching three year-old thoroughbred Justify and his jockey, Mike Smith, make history mostly looked like outstretched arms holding aloft cellphones with the cameras rolling. A normal-sized woman could look up and see, on...