ted Page 286 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alright, Brett Favre Might Be Kind Of A Dick
Amidst all the Brett Favre will he?/won't he?-coverage during the past two weeks, one topic that's come a lot is the status of his precious legacy in the eyes of his fans and the league. The Brett Favre purists and sycophants don't want to see Brett be "Willie Mays on the Mets" "Johnny Unitas on the...
Say Hello To The Newest Olympic Sport: Scooter Jousting
I'll admit that this one has a tenuous link at best to sports, but come on; two elderly women are playing bumper cars with their mobility scooters in the middle of a supermarket, and you expect me to simply let it slide? I'm not made of stone! It goes without saying that if Versus made this a weekly...
Teddy Dupay Falling From Grace At Accelerating Speed
I guess the call-center job is not going so well. The felony charges are rape, aggravated kidnapping and sexual assault....
Matt Jones: The Cocaine Won't Make You Faster, Son
Jacksonville (LA?) Jaguars wide receiver Matt Jones was busted in Arkansas for cocaine and marijuana possession early this morning. Jones, the former Razorback's quarterback who switched to wide receiver to help his NFL draft stock, was pinched last night along with a carload of other dudes in a sha...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you tearfully raise your fist with pride and chant "USA! USA!" ... • Major League Soccer: Houston at Real Salt Lake (10 p.m., ET). How to change the station without using my hands? [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Sprint Cup, Coke Zero 400, practice, at Daytona Beach, Fla (4 p.m. and ...
Rejected Commenter Theater 4: Citizens on Patrol
To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane, co-editor of Walk Off Walk, to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week....
About Last Night
What you missed while listening to Class Clown long into the night ... • College World Series: Year of the Bulldog ... Georgia will meet Fresno State in finals. Where's that Snausages vendor? • NHL: Hockey's Cold War is here. First on Russia's list: Destroy Moose and Squirrel. • MLB: As relievers-tu...
Your Monday Cricket Update; And It Ain't Pretty
I'm told that this is newsworthy but I'm in a little over my head here. Anybody out there speak cricket? Supposedly some team of 11-year-olds in Britain got thrashed so completely that all of Europe is talking about it, but I have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. Was it worse than this...
Wayne Rooney Stag Party Photos Make Eye Gouging Sound Fun
Man U's Wayne Rooney is having a "stag do" (Huh? Googling, googling, googling...oh! A stag party. Crazy Brits.) in Ibiza in advance of his marriage to fiancee Coleen McLoughlin. Among the zany antics, Wayne has been ordered to wear a mankini , the green thongish thing Borat wore in the movie, by s...
Dick Dickinson Has Unfortunate Name, More Unfortunate Tastes
Lindsey Dickinson elects to go by "Dick Dickinson" for reasons known only to him. Maybe it should have been considered something of a warning. The former youth football coach in Illinois was enough of a community presence to have a golf tournament named after him. My guess is they've changed that si...
Oye Como Va! Twice The Santana Means Twice The Fun
Please do not confuse Johan Alexander Santana Araque, pitcher for the Mets, with Ervin Ramon Santana, pitcher for the Angels. One is from Venezuela (chief exports: Petroleum, bauxite and aluminum) and one is from the Dominican Republic (predominant religion: Roman Catholicism). Unfortunately, we ar...
About Last Night
What you missed while watching the most realistic portrayal of Helen Keller ever…...
Weep Not For John Terry
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
Okay, That Was Kind Of Exciting
Mr. Hirshey will have a much more comprehensive and aritculate wrap-up of the Champions League, um...championship?...tomorow, but, for now, this photo will have to suffice....
Anna Kournikova Will Give You 15 Minutes To Stammer
Anna Kournikova is attempting a non-tennis comeback, this time equipped with a revamped website which features a personal blog, "status" updates (latest entry :"Looking forward to tonight, going to the Chanel cruise collection fashion show with my friend." Wee.) and plenty of photos and interactive ...
The EPL Season Ends ... And Look Who Called It!
David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....
BWI Isn't Just a Crappy Airport In Maryland
Cedric Benson, the oft-maligned running back of the Chicago Bears, was arrested last night by the Lower Colorado River Authority (the LAPD of southwest waterways) after being stopped for suspicion of boating while intoxicated. The 25 year-old was hosting between 12 and 15 guests on his 30-foot boat...
Notches On Roger Clemens' Bedpost Keep Surfacing
If we're to believe the New York Daily News sources (which are to be believed most of the time — unless you're a Sean Avery fan), one of the other women who may or may not have had the Rocket inside them is John Daly's ex-wife, Paulette....
Well, So Much For A Cubs World Championship
I found this over at The Big Lead and couldn't stop laughing. Why would Sports Illustrated do this to the Cubs? Chicago is in first place in the NL Central, a game ahead of the Cardinals, just minding their own business and enjoying their place in the sun for once ... and then SI has to pummel them ...
About Last Night...
What you missed while buying Pierre the penguin a new sports car......