the Page 584 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Richard Ben Cramer On The Damn Yankees
Originally published in the October 17, 1977, edition of The Baltimore Sun, this column appears here with permission from the author’s estate....

The "Progressive Liberal" Wipes His Butt With The Confederate Flag
At last check in July, indie wrestler the “Progressive Liberal” Daniel Richards won his match against a Trump supporter but still had to wear a diaper and drink gross milk out of a baby bottle. A couple of weeks later at Dukes Fest, a Dukes of Hazzard-themed festival in Virginia, Richards wrestled a...

Real Big Dumbass Writes Real Dumb Column About Michael Bennett
Sometimes you run across a column that is just so plainly stupid and written in bad faith that it’s hard to muster the indignation necessary to give it a proper critique. How do you even begin to tell the guy eating his own feces that eating his own feces is bad?...

What's The Deal With Bill Simmons And Casey Wasserman?
Bill Simmons’s website and podcast have been a bit ... Casey Wasserman-y this year, haven’t they?...

Florida Suspends Seven Players For Opener Against Michigan
Florida and Michigan will open their seasons on September 2 in Arlington, Texas. The neutral-site contest between two big-conference teams expected to open in the top 25 should be a fun one. However, it’ll be significantly less fun now that Florida has suspended seven players, including star wide re...

The Sports Highlight Of The Day Is This Old Guy Fitting Through A Chair
Odell Beckham Jr.’s catch was cool, but this man fitting through the side of a chair at a pub had much more at stake....

Michael Bennett Sits For National Anthem After Charlottesville Violence
Seahawks DE Michael Bennett became the latest NFL player to sit for the national anthem, ahead of Sunday’s preseason game against the Chargers. He referenced the still-unsigned Colin Kaepernick (of whom Bennett has said, “of course he’s being blackballed”), but Bennett said this weekend’s white supr...

Marshawn Lynch Sits Through National Anthem At Raiders Preseason Game
Marshawn Lynch of the Oakland Raiders sat through the pregame performance of the national anthem at last night’s preseason game against the Arizona Cardinals....

Someone Placed A Whopping $880,000 Bet On Floyd Mayweather Jr.
Now here is a damn sports bet:...

Cat Found And Jailed For Crime Of Helping Vile Cardinals
Cardinals Cat, the kitten that invaded a Royals-Cardinals game at Busch Stadium Wednesday night and inspired the Cardinals to victory, has been found. And you know what? They threw the little asshole in jail, where he belongs:...

Conor McGregor Says He "Whupped" Paulie Malignaggi And Left Him "Badly Concussed"
In the immediate aftermath of a dispiriting and embarrassing Friday afternoon loss to a heavy bag, Conor McGregor and the UFC have been working to redeem and restore some of the McGregor’s reputation as a fighter, mostly at the expense of McGregor’s recent sparring partner, Paulie Malignaggi....

Here's Conor McGregor Knocking Down A Slice Of Pizza Wearing A Wig
Earlier tonight, aspiring boxer Conor McGregor lost to a heavy bag in a public workout so feeble and ridiculous that anyone watching had to wonder whether McGregor had some mysterious business reason for masquerading as a clown or just is one. Perhaps in response, UFC figurehead Dana White has poste...

Idiots Hold Idiot Summit
This week, the public was treated to a rendition of one of Aesop’s lesser-known fables, The Troll, the Moron, and the Stooge. There was no real moral, just a reminder that a sizable portion of the internet consists of opportunists tugging on their own nuts and screeching when they feel they haven’t ...

55-Year-Old Curler Glenn Howard Could Represent Two Countries At The Same Olympics
Glenn Howard has been one of Canada’s top curlers for years, and the four-time world champion is again attempting to represent Canada in the 2018 Winter Olympics. The master strategist and his team, ranked 17th in the world and 11th in Canada, qualified for the opening round of the Canadian curling...

The NCAA's Latest Sexual Violence Policy Is A Joke
The NCAA put out a press release Thursday announcing it had adopted a new a sexual violence policy, complete with a press release and a fluffy writeup by the Associated Press. But the NCAA saying it’s news doesn’t make it news. The policy, as described by its own press release, is meaningless. All i...

What The Heck Is Going On At Tottenham Hotspur?
On Thursday, just three days before Tottenham Hotspur’s Premier League season opener and three weeks before the summer transfer window closes, the worst newspaper in England published a shocking interview with Tottenham’s 27-year-old star left back Danny Rose, horrifying Spurs supporters the world o...

Lenny Dykstra Doesn’t Dispute Sexual Harassment Claim, Admits Politics Make Him Horny
Caroline Heldman is associate professor of politics at Occidental College. In a Facebook post, she says Fox News host Eric Bolling sexually harassed her when she was a guest on the channel. She also says he referred to her as “Dr. McHottie” on air several times. (Bolling is currently suspended from ...

Kitty On The Field Fights Cardinals Employee, Inspires Yadier Molina Grand Slam
A cat ran onto the field in the bottom of the sixth inning in St. Louis tonight. It was adorable, and kind of sad. Poor kitty! Then it bit a Cardinals employee trying to take it off the field, and it was pretty funny. The announcers made fun of him. Poor guy! After the employee finally wrangled the ...

Irish Media Calls Out ESPN For "Unrecognizable" Portrayal Of Conor McGregor's Dublin
ESPN longformer Wright Thompson returned earlier this week with a 5,000-word tome of a profile on alleged boxer Conor McGregor called “Crossing Crumlin Road.” McGregor’s hometown of Dublin and home neighborhood of Crumlin are rendered in evocative detail, and Thompson paints a portrait of Crumlin as...

Bill Simmons's Rankings Of Patriots Wins, Ranked
Bill Simmons had his buddy Hench on his podcast yesterday. They ranked the best 25 Patriots wins since 2001. It took almost two hours and I listened to all of it. Here is the correct ranking of Simmons’s rankings, honorable mentions excluded....