the Page 598 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I'm So Glad Gonzaga Fouled With A Three-Point Lead
Thank you, Gonzaga. It was as if you read my angst-riddled mind on Saturday night....
The Undertaker Leaves The Ring For (Probably) The Last Time
Rumors—and common sense, given that he’s 52 years old—suggested The Undertaker’s final appearance for WWE would be at tonight’s Wrestlemania in Orlando. And so it seems, as the Deadman stripped himself of gloves, cloak, and hat while breaking kayfabe to kiss his wife upon leaving the ring following ...
My Offer For The Stonyfield Yogurt Company
TO: The Board of Directors of the Stonyfield Yogurt Company. ...
Nobody Trusts The Process More Than America's Most Prominent Young Socialists<em></em>
In April of last year, Philadelphia right-wing talk radio host and Daily News columnist Dom Giordano cooked up a hot take comparing now former Philadelphia 76ers general manager Sam Hinkie to Bernie Sanders. It ended with an almost Breitbartian non sequitur: “Hinkie robbed area basketball fans of th...
The Perfectly Stupid Scandal Of The NCAA's First Real One-And-Done<em></em><em></em>
Nearly 30 years ago, on the day before he was to play for a national championship, Andrew Gaze was on the defensive....
The Best Thing About This Year's WrestleMania Is A Brutally Personal Reality-TV Feud
This Sunday’s WrestleMania is not your father’s, which is both the sort of thing World Wrestling Entertainment would say to promote it and true—if not quite in the way they would like you to think....
Idiot On The Field In San Francisco Makes It Damn Near A Minute Before Getting Ass Sacked
It’s still spring training for MLB security teams, as an Idiot On The Field in San Francisco tonight was able to scamper around the field for close to 60 seconds—tagging second base along the way—before being accosted by the cops....
James Baldwin Was An Honest Man And A Good Writer
This article was originally featured in the August 1988 issue of GQ and appears here with the author’s permission....
Jim Harbaugh And Chip Kelly Go To Bat For Colin Kaepernick
NFL free agency began three weeks ago, and Colin Kaepernick is still a man without a team, even in a league in which Mike Glennon just got $19 million guaranteed to actually start for someone. Is Kaepernick being blackballed because of his national anthem protest? It he still unsigned because of his...
Triple-Double King Russell Westbrook Crafts His Masterpiece
In case you were skeptical about Russell Westbrook’s MVP bona fides, consider tonight’s one-man destruction of the Orlando Magic....
Ichiro On Retirement: "I Think I'll Just Die"
Marlins outfielder/baseball’s True Hit King Ichiro Suzuki is 43 years old, yet he’s not going to stop playing professional baseball anytime in the forseeable future. Last year, he appeared in 143 games and hit .291, and even though the Marlins don’t plan to use him as an every-day starter, Ichiro wi...
Would You, Personally, Kill Assad?
The modern world is full of people who love to proclaim that they would have killed Hitler. Okay, sure, sure. But what would you do now? ...
Wonderteen Christian Pulisic Undresses A Pair Of Defenders, Serves Up Opening Goal
This evening’s USMNT-Panama match was soggy, goalless, and uneventful for the first 39 minutes, until America’s greatest teenager, Christian Pulisic, owned a pair of experienced Panamanian defenders and put an easy assist on a platter for Clint Dempsey. Felipe Baliy and Roman Torres are two of Panam...
This Is All You Need To Know About Paul Ryan's Tax Plan
Boyish scamp and retrograde class warrior Paul Ryan is turning his attention to “tax reform,” a term of art for the process of moving our nation’s wealth into the bank accounts of the very rich. Here is one statistic that tells the entire story. ...
![Report: Sacramento Kings Consider Setting Themselves On Fire, Hiring Sam Hinkie [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/w830k6l3f2co6grvbhlk.jpg)
Report: Sacramento Kings Consider Setting Themselves On Fire, Hiring Sam Hinkie [Update]
The Sacramento Kings, fresh off trading their franchise center for Buddy Hield and a draft pick, have apparently realized that their GM is a dunderhead. That’s good news, as a man who publicly announces that he turned down better offers for his best player and doesn’t know how the salary cap works s...
Does This Look Like The Reincarnation Of Lou Gehrig To You?<em></em>
You’ve spoken to a toddler, or at least know enough about children to imagine what speaking to a toddler might be like. You understand that a 2-year-old child, because his brain is still developing and he is just starting to experiment with language, is liable to say some dumb things. A toddler migh...
Laundry Is The Worst Thing In The World
Years ago, a friend told me that sweeping is the worst possible chore. My God, she was wrong. I took a screencap of her being wrong and would show it to other people, and they would gaze at it and say, “My word, look at that person being wrong.” That’s how wrong it was. Everyone agrees laundry is ob...
You Love Trucks. Do You Love People?
Donald Trump loves trucks, I guess. Also, the trucking industry is poised to be decimated by technological change. Here we have an opportunity. ...
Columbus, Ohio Viewers Miss Entire Kentucky-UNC Finish Due To Tornado Warning
Columbus, Ohio CBS station WBNS went black for six minutes as its weather staff delivered ominous news of a tornado warning in Franklin and Madison counties. Those six minutes just happened to encompass the entirety of Malik Monk’s three to tie it up, and Luke Maye’s eventual winner for UNC (as well...
Sage Northcutt On Trash Talk: "No Sir... I Would Never Be Out There Cussing"
You may remember that UFC golden boy Sage Northcutt tried his hand at trash talking before his December fight against Mickey Gall. Highlights included, “I’m going out there to win, and that’s how it is,” and “Sometimes people ask for things, and they gotta be careful what they say.”...