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Auston Matthews Is Ready
It’s appropriate that the happiest and most hopeful Maple Leafs fans have been in exactly three seasons and 15 minutes is after a game they lost. But though the Senators prevailed 5-4 in overtime of the season opener, it’s obvious that Toronto—and, hell, the rest of us—should be very, very excited. ...
Trump Spokesperson’s Sexual Assault Defense: Let Me Tell You About Airplanes<em></em>
Katrina Pierson has an obvious rejoinder to Jessica Leeds’s accusation that Donald Trump groped her on a plane in the 1980's: Nobody is talking about the features of the D-9, MD-80, 707, or the L-1011! ...
Hockey Idiot On The Field Climbs Onto Ice, Dances Around, Falls On His Ass
The NHL season kicks off tonight, but the most important hockey event of the evening happened in the Ontario Hockey League. During tonight’s game between the Mississauga Steelheads and the Guelph Storm, this climbing enthusiast got his way over the boards and onto the ice. The officials seemed less ...
![First Overall Pick Auston Matthews Scores Twice In First Five Minutes Of NHL Career [Update: He Scored Two More]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/pnawdgznmnedvfkk9on8.jpg)
First Overall Pick Auston Matthews Scores Twice In First Five Minutes Of NHL Career [Update: He Scored Two More]
Auston Matthews took the ice for the first time in his NHL career tonight against Ottawa, and immediately started scoring. Ten minutes into the first period, he popped up in the right place during a goalmouth scramble, and slipped his shot in....
Big Boy Jim Harbaugh Enjoys Huge Glass Of Milk With Large Steak<em></em>
“Would you like a drink to pair with your hunk of steak?” “Yes, can I see your two percent list?”...
NLRB Ruling Frees College Athlete Twitter, Opens New Avenue To End Amateurism
For today, a recent memo sent out by the National Labor Relations Board means Twitter users will be treated to the unfiltered thoughts of private school college athletes; for the future, it means those athletes might actually get their just due....
Story On Fox Sports 1 Ratings Reads Just Like A Fox Sports 1 Press Release<em></em>
Nielsen’s television ratings determine almost alone whether a TV show is considered successful, whether it stays on the air, and how much advertisers pay to run commercials during it. They are incredibly important to everybody in the television business, and reporters breathlessly cover them, from t...
Alan Siegel wrote about The Simpsons villain Hank Scorpio and the episode “You Only Move Twice” for The Ringer, and talked to showrunner Josh Weinstein about Homer Simpson’s “Yes, once,” line when Scorpio asks if he’s ever seen a guy say goodbye to his shoe before. Weinstein said that Homer’s respon...
The Panthers Are In Real Trouble
The defending NFC champs are seeing their season slip away faster than anyone could have predicted. After last night’s 17-14 loss to the Buccaneers, Carolina is now just the fifth team (of 100) to make a Super Bowl appearance and start the next season 1-4 or worse—the first since the 2004 Panthers....
Roberto Aguayo Goes From Goat To Hero By Finally Making A Field Goal<em></em>
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are a mediocre, waterlogged 2-3 team and the biggest story of their season is the fragile psyche of their kicker, who they traded up to draft in the second round. Roberto Aguayo was the most accurate kicker in college football history, but he struggled throughout the preseas...
Conor McGregor Fined $150K For Throwing Beverages At The Diaz Brothers
Before Conor McGregor took a narrow decision win over Nate Diaz at UFC 202, the rivals squared off and threw a bunch of water bottles at each other after McGregor arrived late to a press conference. It was a relatively harmless and entertaining spectacle, one that certainly hyped up the fight. McGre...
The Big Ten Got Exactly What It Wanted In Rutgers
Over the past two weeks, Rutgers has been outscored by Ohio State and Michigan by a combined 136-0, dropping to 2-4 overall and 0-3 in the Big Ten while sparking yet another round of people asking just why in the hell the Scarlet Knights are a part of the conference. This is to serve as a reminder t...
Chuck Todd Owns Rudy Giuliani
The Trump campaign pulled its entire team off the Sunday morning talk shows, sending out Rudy Giuliani to speak on behalf of the Republican presidential nominee on all four broadcast networks. His appearance with Chuck Todd on Meet The Press didn’t go so well, as the show’s host confronted the forme...
Nearly 60,000 People Stood In A Hurricane To Watch N.C. State Beat Notre Dame
Hurricane Matthew made its way through Raleigh this afternoon; at the same time, football was played, kind of. And people showed up in droves. ...
Cam Newton Ruled Out For Monday Night Game Under Concussion Protocol
Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton has been ruled out for Monday night’s game after suffering a concussion in last week’s loss to the Atlanta Falcons....
Play Football In A Hurricane, Why Not
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Pitt Offensive Lineman Scores Fat Guy Touchdown
Pitt’s Brian O’Neill runs 6'6", 300 lbs., and he also runs fast enough to score a touchdown that put the Panthers up 7-0 on Georgia Tech. All hail the fat guy touchdown!...
Why Is The Ringer Publishing A Jeb Bush Flunky's Craven Bullshit?<em></em>
One of the more annoying side effects of Donald Trump’s rise to the top of the Republican party’s power structure has been watching the conservative politicians and operatives who count themselves among the #NeverTrump brigade scrambling to make sure that the man’s stench doesn’t rub off on them. Th...
Julio Jones's Excellence Made A Man Lose His Job
Falcons receiver Julio Jones had a 12-catch, 300-yard game Sunday against the Panthers. In an odd coincidence, Carolina released cornerback Bene’ Benwikere today....