the Page 623 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cristiano Ronaldo Named Best Player In Europe, Wins Creepy-Ass Trophy
Cristiano Ronaldo, the greatest soccer-playing cyborg ever made/animated, had a year to remember. First, he dragged Real Madrid to Champions League glory (pulling them through the least daunting field maybe ever, but hey, winning’s winning) in May. For his next feat, he stood on the sidelines with w...
What, Like You've Never Taken A Headfirst Dive Into The Yankees' Dugout?
Hey, what are you looking at, man?...
Nick Diaz Got Into An "Insane Melee" In A Club Bathroom
After Nate Diaz’s split decision loss to Conor McGregor at UFC 202 over the weekend, the Diaz boys have spent this week unwinding. Young Nate has been vaping, they appear to be enjoying the pools of Las Vegas, and last night, Nick went clubbing at Hyde Bellagio. According to a report from TMZ, he go...
Philly Radio Host Fired After Criticizing Rival Show Over Fake Black Caller
Philadelphia sports radio station WIP fired host Josh Innes today, a day after he made fun of 97.5 The Fanatic’s Mike Missanelli over the revelation that his white producer Pat Egan created an imaginary stereotypical black caller named “Dwayne From Swedesboro.”...
Roberto Aguayo Is Living Our Anxiety Dream
Roberto Aguayo, the most accurate kicker in college football history, for whom the Tampa Bay Buccaneers traded up to draft in the second round, is struggling in preseason and in practice. This is a real and interesting news story. It’s also one that I’ve felt unusual compunctions reading (and writin...
Welcome To Mike Pence's Living Hell
Mike Pence, who will be spending the next three months paying for the grievous sins of a past life and also probably this one, forced his mother to hold a piece of chicken on a plane yesterday evening....
Iowa Strength Coach Is Making $595,000 This Year
There comes a moment in every fan’s life when they realize that certain power programs’ claims that they can’t afford to pay players don’t stand up. I hope this is someone’s moment!...
Philly Sports Radio World Rocked By True Story Of Fake Caller "Dwayne From Swedesboro"<em></em>
A local Philadelphia iteration of Skippy And Goatface’s Morning Sports Holocaust on 97.5 The Fanatic has an infamous caller: “Dwayne From Swedesboro.” Dwayne’s schtick is that he’s black, horny for white women, and runs into all sorts of paternity-test problems. According to an exhaustive, truly imp...
Wrestling Bronze Medal Match Ends In Controversy; Mongolian Coaches Strip In Protest
Today’s 65kg freestyle wrestling bronze medal match between Uzbekistan’s Ikhtiyor Navruzov and Mongolian Ganzorigiin Mandakhnaran ended in controversy as Ganzorigiin was assessed a penalty for celebrating his victory early, costing him the victory. A subsequent penalty point came after the Mongolian...
Ryan Lochte On Why He Lied To NBC About Being Robbed: "I Was Still Intoxicated"
Ryan Lochte appeared on Brazil’s Jornal Nacional news program tonight and attempted to explain his claims of having been “robbed,” stating that his description of the events to NBC on Sunday morning was provided under the influence of some incredible drunkenness....
Ryan Lochte Admits "Over-Exaggerating" Robbery Story: "It Was My Immature Behavior"
Ryan Lochte tried to come clean about the “robbery” that left three of his U.S. swimming teammates dealing with Brazilian police after what turned out to be an episode of public urination and vandalism, stating that the episode and his subsequent fabrication of details about it were the product of “...
Jack Conger Releases Statement, Blames Lochte's Vandalism For International Incident
The second of three U.S. swimmers who were with Ryan Lochte the night he claims they were pulled over by fake cops in Rio and “robbed” has released a statement and it, like the one issued previously by Gunnar Bentz, blames the four-time Olympian for getting them all into trouble in the first place....
Gunnar Bentz Is Back In The U.S. And Says Ryan Lochte Is Full Of Shit<em></em>
U.S. swimmer Gunnar Bentz, who along with Jack Conger was taken off his flight home from the Olympics and forced to answer questions about the alleged robbery that victimized them, now says the holdup story was made up by Ryan Lochte—whose vandalism allegedly got them into trouble in the first place...
Three Of Four NFL Players Named In Al Jazeera Doping Report Will Meet With League
James Harrison, Clay Matthews, and Julius Peppers, who were named in the Al Jazeera report on doping, will meet with the league after the NFL threatened to suspend them for a lack of cooperation, according to a letter sent by the NFLPA today.ESPN’s Chris Mortensen reports that the three players will...
What Will Your Last Tweet Be?
There was an episode of Oprah that aired a long, long time ago that was about the survivors of terrible accidents. At least, I think that’s what it was about. It aired around the time of the Singapore Airlines flight 006 tragedy back in 2000, where a 747 aircraft didn’t manage to lift off before cra...
Wayde Van Niekerk's Run Was Historic In At Least Four Ways
South African Wayde van Niekerk’s Olympic gold medal and beautiful world record in the 400 meters could hardly get any sweeter. Out of lane eight—few win out of lane eight, much less set a world record, because other competitors are behind the lane eight runner until they hit the last straight, when...
Conor McGregor Gets Mad, Throws Things At Shit-Talking Diaz Brothers
Normally in fighting sports, pre-bout histrionics and chest-puffing look fake, and also not particularly noteworthy. That is not the case when the Diaz brothers are involved....
How To Plan Your Lunches And Avoid Cooking All Week
You would think a single AC unit would be sufficient for cooling the sort of diminutive New York City one-bedroom for which I am currently overpaying. But, alas, despite racking up what is sure to be a reprehensibly reckless utilities bill, it’s still at least a billion degrees in my apartment this ...
Crazy Fan Rushes Ring During <i>Monday Night Raw</i>
On last night’s episode of Monday Night Raw, Seth Rollins attempted to call out The Demon King during an in-ring promo, only to have his speech interrupted by a crazy fan....