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Panthers Used DeAngelo Williams's Mom In Pinktober, Didn't Go To Funeral
Running back DeAngelo Williams found out last week that the Carolina Panthers would cut him. No longer a Panther, he decided to air some grievances, specifically involving the Panthers' relationship with Sandra Hill, his mother who died of breast cancer in May 2014....

Russell Wilson’s Ball-Bread Is Fucking Weird
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering failed romantic gestures, Oscar stuff, hamburgers and sex, and more....

Tommy Chong Didn't Teach Me Shit About Rolling A Joint
Tommy Chong's joint-rolling machine, the Chong Roller, produces a fine joint: cone-style, with a filter, and perfectly symmetrical. The end product is, indeed, quite a lovely thing....

Nightmare Octopus Jumps Out Of Water, Chases Crab On Land, Bodies It
This here video of an octopus exploding out of the shallows, moonwalking on land, grabbing a crab, and pulling it back underwater was shot in Australia just days ago, which means that there's a good chance this very octopus and others like it are still alive, which means that you and I and all of ou...

This Is The Best Seasonal Beer
If there's one thing the self-appointed guardians of the Craft Beer Movement™ like to complain about, it's aardvarks and the noise pirates make and every single other goddamn thing up through zymurgy its very blessed self. As I've noted here before, it's entirely possible that the knitting communi...

The Floyd Mayweather-Manny Pacquiao Fight Is Officially On
Floyd Mayweather Jr. will face Manny Pacquiao on May 2nd in Las Vegas, bringing to reality a fight for which boxing fans have clamored for years (and one which is likely to be terrible for numerous reasons.)...

Al Pacino's Worst Movie Ever Is <i>Revolution</i>
Flipping around cable, I land on 1993's Carlito's Way and check in for a few scenes of a lurid, pulpy, and very Brian De Palma movie that's arguably like Scarface with an interior life. And as Al Pacino struts and chews his way through another role with another weird accent that ultimately leave...

Nobody Wants To Wake Up To This, ESPN
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Definitive Analysis Of That One Time Cassidy Rap-Battled Himself
It shouldn't surprise you that Cassidy, a baby-faced, Philly-born rapper who, about a decade ago, conspired with an alleged sexual predator to make one of the catchiest songs of all time and (allegedly) shot a man to death in the span of a few weeks, is a savage. I forgot about this for months or ...

ESPN's Dan Rafael Seems Like He Could Use A Nap
ESPN boxing writer Dan Rafael is, as our own Iron Mike Gallego has long enjoyed pointing out, a stooge and a nitwit, but the run-up to the announcement of the long-delayed Floyd Mayweather/Manny Pacquiao bout has revealed something else about him: Like much of the rest of the boxing media but even m...

Even God Cheats: How Anderson Silva Shocked Us By Doing The Expected
The Nevada State Athletic Commission is a bumbling, soulless government agency, and so a strange agent for the delivery of the message that our gods have forsaken us. They never have been particularly diligent messengers in any event, but for whatever reason—bureaucracy, incompetence, something more...

<i>The Running Man</i>'s Goofy, Violent Dystopia Hasn't Arrived Yet, Alas
Right around New Year's Day, I saw a bit of online chatter pointing out that we were entering the year depicted in Back to the Future II, and that to our great disappointment, we still don't have hoverboards or '80s-themed diners. Tragic as that may be, I'm more concerned that we're now only two yea...

Wait, Jesus Christ, There's A Different Ball Scandal? What The Fuck?
Have you been following the latest developments in the investigation into the use of shady balls during the AFC Championship? Probably not, because you're normal and football's over and it's all so confusing. But listen a second: this new stuff is weird....

Celebrate Throwback Thursday With A Heartwarming 9/11 Memory
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These Beards Ought To Be Feared
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Kevin Durant Is Turning Into Drake Right Before Our Eyes
In case you haven’t noticed, Kevin Durant is making a transition. Tired of the unselfish, humble, respectful, One Of The Good Ones role he was involuntarily cast in when the sports press needed someone to hold up in opposition to the post-Decision LeBron, Durant is apparently in the midst of a publi...

New Tricks From An Old Virginia Brewer
By now, everyone has figured out that February is the longest month of the year. The Man had a nice little run of fooling us with his calendar games, but we don't fall for those cheap math tricks anymore; we're all well aware that the 28 days of February are each at least 50 hours long....

The Greatest Fake Law Firm Ever Has Even More New Partners
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Q&A: Nathan, A Bloodhound That Did Not Win The Westminster Dog Show
Another year, another February; another parade of dogs coming to a gray and bitter New York in hopes of winning the big ribbon at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. Of all this year's upsets, few were as touching as the toppling of Flessner's International S'Cess, a handsome bloodhound from Mar...

Screencap Classix: See You All In A Few Years
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