the Page 704 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
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Even Hockey Highlights Are Better When Called By Spanish Announcers
It's no secret that when given the opportunity, we watch games called by Spanish-language announcers. (Yours truly being located in Florida, those options are plentiful.) So here's the Florida Panthers' winning goal by Scottie Upshall Thursday night, as called by Arley Londoño of ESPN Radio as par...
Bill Belichick Is Fed Up With All These Wrong-Ass Meteorologists
At today's press conference, somebody asked Patriots head coach Bill Belichick if he ever takes the weather forecast into account when game planning, and Belichick responded by going on a sustained grumble-rant about how shitty weather forecasters are at their jobs....
I Watched A Journeyman Fighter Get His Ass Beat In A Cage In St. Louis
From Thrown, Kerry Howley's new, great book on mixed martial arts, available now....
Here's The Deep-Thinking, Super-Alcoholic Beer For You
When last we Drunkspun, we were so angry at Stella Artois for sucking that we completely overlooked the fact that we don't even need the good Belgian beer around anymore. We were so busy praising all the good Belgian beer, lest we look ugly and ungracious by failing to properly appreciate their ce...
Little Kid At Giants Parade Yells "Fuck Her Right In The Pussy" On Air
The practice of yelling "fuck her right in the pussy" at inappropriate moments should no longer be a thing, but this instance is notable because of how young the perpetrator is. The kid jumps in there with the quickness, does his damage, and dashes off, leaving the poor reporter to try and salvage...
This Is One Of The Most Unfortunate Headlines We've Ever Seen
Hey, you guys remember Mark Whicker? The guy who wrote what is unquestionably the worst sports column of all time? Well, now he can add this headline to his collection of editorial facepalms....
Rappers And Cats: A Complete History
Meow the Jewels is a real thing. What started as a joke—with Run the Jewels, the acerbically bombastic rap duo of EL-P and Killer Mike, offering to re-record their fantastic new sophomore album, Run the Jewels 2, with "nothing but cat sounds for music" if someone gave them $40,000—has bloomed into...
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Scientific Proof Gatorade Is Better Than Powerade
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How Muhammad Ali's Rope-A-Dope Myth Suckered America
Myth now dominates our misunderstanding of Muhammad Ali, who was once the most accessible celebrity in the world. The truth of the man is nearly irretrievable. With Ali having receded into an exile of his own choosing, the jokes and half-truths and outright lies he once told to entertain us have h...
Fanboy Government Agents Illegally Spied On Costa Rican World Cup Hero
Keylor Navas was the best player on a Costa Rica team that exceeded all expectations in this summer's World Cup. Because of the goalkeeper's heroics, neutrals fell in love with him, Real Madrid fell in love with him, and Costa Ricans especially fell in love with him—a little too much, it turns out....
Idiot On The Field Slaps Franck Ribéry With Scarf, Flips Him Double Bird
Just because your team was getting spanked 3-1 by Bayern in the DFB Pokal doesn't give you the right to accost Mr. Ribéry like that, Hamburg fan. Though the surprising part is how rarely soccer idiots on the field are malicious assholes like this guy....
Pornhub-Sponsored Soccer Team Threatened With Ban
It started off as a prank. Then Pornhub caught wind, and everything went to shit. ...
I Love It When You Call Me Big Papa
Found this over at Longform: The New Yorker's legendary 1950 Lillian Ross profile of Hemingway:...
You Have To See These Indonesian Soccer Dudes Throw This Match
Words like "unbelievable" are thrown around too often in sports, but the highlight video above and especially the extended clips below of two Indonesian soccer teams throwing a match is exactly what the word unbelievable was meant to express. But then you realize that they're doing so to maybe save ...
Stella Artois Is A Disgrace To Belgium
A couple weeks ago, I wrote a big, trashy, sensationalist, and 100-percent accurate post titled "There Is No Excuse For Drinking Heineken," in which I argued that there are literally thousands of better-tasting ways to communicate to the world that you have a dollar more than the price of a Budwei...
NCAA Punishes Todd Gurley, Still Thinks It's An Actual Court Of Law
Georgia star running back Todd Gurley was suspended by his school earlier this month after a bitter memorabilia dealer snitched on Gurley because he wasn't making enough money off the player's autographs. It was some extremely dumb shit. Now, the NCAA has swooped in and hit Gurley with its own set o...
Evil Twin Hipster Ale Is Cool, Just Like You
Evil Twin is an interesting operation. In the unlikely event you have any free New York Times articles left on the 28th of a pretty newsy month, you can learn nearly everything I know about that operation here. A quick summary: It's a contract-brewing company run out of Brooklyn by a Danish guy who ...