the Page 709 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
So Normal It Hurts: The Triumph And Tragedy Of Phil Hartman
There were few thrills in preadolescent life as dependable as the voice of Troy McClure. That first resoundingly confident "Hi!" triggered a Pavlovian response like no other single syllable: Here, without a doubt, comes a belly laugh....
Attention To Detail
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Here's Every Edit ESPN Has Made To Its <em>OTL</em> Ray Rice-Ravens Report
We noted earlier today that Friday's bombshell Outside The Lines report included some odd, paraphrased quoting of supposed text messages to Ray Rice. That, alongside the wild—later retracted—claims about the Revel Casino providing a copy of the tape to the Ravens and NFL security led us to examine e...
Vancouver Papers Apologize For Describing Jordan Subban As "Dark Guy"
How would you caption this photo of Vancouver Canuck Jordan Subban celebrating a goal with his teammates? Maybe you'd reference his uniform number, since it's the only one not clearly visible. Whatever the solution, "dark guy in the middle" was not it....
ESPN Made A Very Weird Mistake In Its Big Ray Rice Story
On Friday, ESPN's Outside the Lines published a thoroughly reported and damning story about the Baltimore Ravens' handling of the Ray Rice case. Based on new information, though, it's apparent that one major part of the story was awkwardly mishandled, for reasons that aren't quite clear....
Baseball's Best Fans
The Cubs topped St. Louis tonight on a walk-off, leaving at least one Cards fan to tarnish some otherwise friendly confines....
Paula Deen Wint Awn <em>The T'Day Show</em>, Is Still Grosser 'N Shit, Yawl
Crazy-eyed butter-marm Paula Deen took to The Today Show this morning, ostensibly to talk about life lessons and learnin' from mah mistakes, yawl and other such nonsense, but really to promote her dumber-than-hell ill-conceived new subscription-based online network. ...
Denzel Washington Will Kick Your Ass Now: <em>The Equalizer</em>, Reviewed
1. I know we just talked about Liam Neeson around here, but I feel obliged to bring him back up, because suffice it to say, if Liam Neeson doesn't have the aforementioned late-career action-movie rebirth, there is no way The Equalizer exists. Ostensibly a big-screen reboot of the CBS crime procedu...
How A GOP Strategist Tells The Panthers To Market Their Stars
Top political strategist Frank Luntz is the man setting Roger Goodell's message, but he's also working with individual teams, including in Washington, Chicago, and Carolina, to market their star players. Below you'll find LuntzGlobal's notes on three Carolina Panthers players and how best to se...
Floyd Mayweather Claims That His Reality Show Is Completely Fake
Boxer and serial woman-beater Floyd Mayweather appeared before the Nevada State Athletic Commission today to answer questions about a brutal sparring session that Mayweather facilitated on a recent episode of his Showtime reality series. Mayweather defended himself against the commission's questions...
Never High Five A Guy Who Can Only Make A Fist
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10cc's "I'm Not In Love" Was The Real Song Of The Summer
Right now, on the upper reaches of the Billboard 200 album chart, in the midst of 21st-century pop frivolities like Maroon 5, Jeezy, Sam Smith, Ariana Grande, and Now That's What I Call Music 51, sits Guardians of the Galaxy: Awesome Mix Vol. 1, which once reigned at no. 1, and now sits comfortabl...
NFL Owner Grumpycat Displeased With Team's Performance
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Dead Men Do Tell Tales, Apparently
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I'd Wear A Spider-Man T-Shirt On TV Too, If I Could
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Jameis Winston's Status Revised, Now Suspended For Entire Clemson Game
Florida State's administration suspended Jameis Winston for the first half of tomorrow's Clemson game earlier this week after engaging in the public execution of a meme. Now, after having time to think about it, interim FSU president Garnett Stokes and AD Stan Wilcox have decided to bench the Heisma...
James Dolan Is A Shitty Boss, Part 4,593
New York Knicks owner and crap-ass wannabe blues musician James Dolan tried to set some kind of world record for the most people playing kazoo in one room. He enlisted New York Knicks Amar'e Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony, who would have probably rather been anywhere else, to help him lead the crowd...
21st Amendment's Bitter American Does Low-Alcohol Beer Proud
Welcome to the first Drunkspin Sub-Five-Percent Friday! And maybe the last, because who knows if we'll manage the schedule properly, but the idea is to showcase a different lower-alcohol beer each week, to help shoo you into the weekend with a blueprint for maintaining a respectable 48-hour buzz. ...