the Page 709 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
This Is What It's Like To Be A Giants Fan
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NCAA Relaxes Penn State Sanctions, Continues Power-Mongering
Today, the NCAA announced significant reductions in its punishments for Penn State stemming from the Jerry Sandusky scandal. Specifically, the school's four-year bowl ban has been lifted immediately, and starting next season, it will have all 85 of its scholarships restored. This, like all power mov...
MLB Is Clarifying Blocking-The-Plate Rule By Making It More Complicated
Jayson Stark is reporting that MLB and the Players Association are close to an agreement that would take the hugely unpopular blocking-the-plate rule and give it a few more moving parts, in the hope that it will give umpires just enough leeway to avoid any postseason fuckups. ...
Dude Eats Cereal Out Of Box At Panthers-Bucs Game Like It's No Big Deal
How'd he sneak that cereal box into the game? It most likely wouldn't be sold at the stadium, right? Just full boxes of cereal? Whatever. Do you, dude....
DeAngelo Williams Dyed His Hair Pink For His Late Mother
DeAngelo Williams's mother, Sandra Hill, died of breast cancer last May, and Hill's four sisters—Williams's aunts—all died of the disease from 1992 to 2011. Today, Williams is playing with his hair dyed pink to help raise awareness about breast cancer. ...
Sometimes You Have To Shove The Trombone Player So You Can Kick
Sure, it’s inconvenient when you want to kick and you’re hemmed in by some big stupid marching band. But on the other hand, do you know a better way to simulate kicking in the midst of an onrushing defense?...
Antonio Brown Kicks A Punter In The Face, In Extreme Slow Motion
We already brought you some video and a GIF of this, but the sheer beauty of the moment really demanded we bring our special approach to sports highlights. So here's the Steelers' Antonio Brown kicking Browns punter Spencer Lanning in the face—in extreme slow motion....
Lagunitas Sucks Is America's Finest Quart Of Beer
One of these days I'm going to write about 40s—it would be irresponsible to forever ignore one of the most iconic corners of American beer culture—but I keep putting it off, because I can't find a worthwhile angle beyond nostalgia. Most of your better brewers opt not to package their wares in 40-oun...
Miami Fuckin' Florida
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NASCAR Race Goes Yellow Due To Idiot On The Catch Fence
Tonight's NASCAR Sprint Cup race at Richmond went under caution with 70 laps remaining after an idiot Idiot climbed the catch fence to, according to bystanders, take a selfie. ESPN's broadcast didn't want to say much about what happened, so here is some video....
This Game Has Been No <em>Vacation</em> For Arkansas State
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You Will Never Be As Cool As Brock Hekking
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Anchor California Lager: Because Ale Makes You Fat
You're getting chubby, and that's mostly because you spend all day looking at slideshows of the "27 Fried-est Foods at the Iowa Tractor Guild's Annual Corn Jousting Festival," which makes you shake your damn head at all those crazy, fat maize warriors and their deep-fried mutton cupcakes as you sm...
Penn State To Alums: Please Stop Being Crazy Truthers
Most of the country has moved on from talking about the Penn State scandal, accepting that university administrators and former head coach Joe Paterno made grievous errors in judgment upon becoming aware of Jerry Sandusky's crimes. According to a letter that was sent today by the university to a mas...
Never Trust Your Kids Around The Onlinerman
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Fisherman Pulls Monstrous Nightmare Shrimp Out Of Ocean
Try to see how long you can stare at this gigantic monster shrimp before becoming wildly uncomfortable and convinced that something totally just crawled across the back of your neck. What if I told you that its eyes are on stalks and can move independently from each other? ...
NCAA: Geno Auriemma's Phone Call To Mo'ne Davis Was A Violation
UConn women's basketball coach Geno Auriemma called little league pitcher Mo'ne Davis last month to congratulate her success with the Taney Dragons. Someone anonymously reported the call to the NCAA as a recruiting violation, because Davis, who is 13 years old, also plays basketball. The NCAA actual...
Floyd Mayweather Sued By Ex-Fiancée He Accused Of "Killing Babies"
Floyd Mayweather is being sued by ex-fiancée Shantel Jackson. You'll remember her as the woman whose old sonogram Mayweather posted on Facebook, claiming he broke up with her because she got an abortion. "And I'm totally against killing babies," he wrote....
Man Does Money Sign In Background Of CNN's Joan Rivers Death Report
It's what Joan would have wanted....