the Page 711 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Paula Deen Wint Awn <em>The T'Day Show</em>, Is Still Grosser 'N Shit, Yawl
Crazy-eyed butter-marm Paula Deen took to The Today Show this morning, ostensibly to talk about life lessons and learnin' from mah mistakes, yawl and other such nonsense, but really to promote her dumber-than-hell ill-conceived new subscription-based online network. ...
Denzel Washington Will Kick Your Ass Now: <em>The Equalizer</em>, Reviewed
1. I know we just talked about Liam Neeson around here, but I feel obliged to bring him back up, because suffice it to say, if Liam Neeson doesn't have the aforementioned late-career action-movie rebirth, there is no way The Equalizer exists. Ostensibly a big-screen reboot of the CBS crime procedu...
How A GOP Strategist Tells The Panthers To Market Their Stars
Top political strategist Frank Luntz is the man setting Roger Goodell's message, but he's also working with individual teams, including in Washington, Chicago, and Carolina, to market their star players. Below you'll find LuntzGlobal's notes on three Carolina Panthers players and how best to se...
Floyd Mayweather Claims That His Reality Show Is Completely Fake
Boxer and serial woman-beater Floyd Mayweather appeared before the Nevada State Athletic Commission today to answer questions about a brutal sparring session that Mayweather facilitated on a recent episode of his Showtime reality series. Mayweather defended himself against the commission's questions...
Never High Five A Guy Who Can Only Make A Fist
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10cc's "I'm Not In Love" Was The Real Song Of The Summer
Right now, on the upper reaches of the Billboard 200 album chart, in the midst of 21st-century pop frivolities like Maroon 5, Jeezy, Sam Smith, Ariana Grande, and Now That's What I Call Music 51, sits Guardians of the Galaxy: Awesome Mix Vol. 1, which once reigned at no. 1, and now sits comfortabl...
NFL Owner Grumpycat Displeased With Team's Performance
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Dead Men Do Tell Tales, Apparently
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I'd Wear A Spider-Man T-Shirt On TV Too, If I Could
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Jameis Winston's Status Revised, Now Suspended For Entire Clemson Game
Florida State's administration suspended Jameis Winston for the first half of tomorrow's Clemson game earlier this week after engaging in the public execution of a meme. Now, after having time to think about it, interim FSU president Garnett Stokes and AD Stan Wilcox have decided to bench the Heisma...
James Dolan Is A Shitty Boss, Part 4,593
New York Knicks owner and crap-ass wannabe blues musician James Dolan tried to set some kind of world record for the most people playing kazoo in one room. He enlisted New York Knicks Amar'e Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony, who would have probably rather been anywhere else, to help him lead the crowd...
21st Amendment's Bitter American Does Low-Alcohol Beer Proud
Welcome to the first Drunkspin Sub-Five-Percent Friday! And maybe the last, because who knows if we'll manage the schedule properly, but the idea is to showcase a different lower-alcohol beer each week, to help shoo you into the weekend with a blueprint for maintaining a respectable 48-hour buzz. ...
This Poor Bastard
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You Need More Bruce Lee In Your Life; Start With <em>The Chinese Connection</em>
The most iconic moment in 1972's Bruce Lee vehicle The Chinese Connection, and maybe of his entire career, comes when he walks into a Japanese dojo with a sign that the Japanese, as an insult, left at his teacher's funeral. He says he'll take on anyone in the dojo, and when one guy steps up, Lee s...
This Is The Best Fall Beer
You know how dickheads of a certain stripe like to accuse the rest of us decent and delicate folk of being "fake outraged" when we get offended by things like racist team names, sexist advertising, or casual child abuse? They are so certain of their wrong opinions that they cannot imagine that we ...
Jon Stewart Murders NFL On Air; Goodell Asks Mueller To Investigate
Jon Stewart probably thought he was done with the NFL for a little while when he took them on a week ago, but here we are. The Minnesota Vikings suspending, then unsuspending, then suspending Adrian Peterson again caught The Daily Show's attention, and Stewart spent part of Wednesday night's sho...
Greg Hardy Goes On Exempt List As He Awaits Domestic Abuse Trial
Following the lead of the Vikings' Adrian Peterson, Panthers DE Greg Hardy will be placed on the exempt list, which will effectively suspend him indefinitely and with pay as he awaits a jury trial on domestic violence charges....
15-Year-Old Russian Twins Busted For Doping Because Russia
Famous for its dash cams and terrifying lo-fi drugs, Russia now adds a new blemish to its resume: doping up its youth....
Sandy Koufax: Jackie Robinson Tried To Make Things Easier For Me
The beauty of the Internet is that it offers up surprises and treats. Never know when you're going to find something worth remembering. I was toolin' around my Tumblr feed the other day when I ran across a beautiful illustrated piece by an artist named Katherine W. Wirick. Another talented picture-m...