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I Pooped Today
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Man Takes Chainsaw To The Neck, Somehow Survives
Even though this is just an X-ray of a chainsaw in someone's neck, and not an actual photo, it's still pretty damn horrifying. The craziest part is that the guy who took the chainsaw to his neck is still alive....

This Photo Is An April Fools' Joke, But We Wish It Weren't
No, Hank the dog did not bite one of the Milwaukee Brewers sausage racers on the dick, but we really wish he had. The photo, which has been floating around Twitter today, is from an obviously joke-y post on OnMilwaukee.com. But the fact that this photo is fake doesn't mean that Hank the dog isn't st...

How Would An NCAA Union Actually Work? A Guide For Perplexed Pundits
The real triumph of the decades-long propaganda war against organized labor isn't best seen in the ever-declining rate of unionization, or ever-increasing income inequality, or even the way the word "union" functionally works as an epithet. It's seen, instead, in the fact that so many otherwise smar...

Can Anyone Stop The Beliebers? Vote On The Bitchy Bracket Final 8
We're down to the regional finals of our survey of the most thin-skinned, defensive fanboys in America, and apparently you people aren't familiar enough with the lunatics at TEAM BREEZY because Chris Brown's virtual harem got spanked in the Sweet 16 by Beliebers, who make such obvious targets. Here...

I Bandwagoned The <i>How I Met Your Mother</i> Finale, Which Sucked
I have a nasty habit of jumping into popular TV shows at the last moment to siphon off a bit of counterfeit emotional payoff without putting in the years and years of tedious buildup. I did this with Lost (not bad!). I did this with Breaking Bad (I REGRET NOTHING). And last night I did it with Ho...

Jimmy Patsos: A True Student Of Gary Williams
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Welington Castillo Took A Foul Ball Right To The Dick
Happy Opening Day, Welington Castillo. Sorry about your nards....

Ten <em>Mid-Majority</em> Posts You Must Read Before The Site Dies In 7 Hours
Mid-major basketball maven Kyle Whelliston is shuttering The Mid-Majority tonight after ten years of operation, and deleting the site's entire content. It's been the home of some of the best college basketball writing around, and if you haven't had the chance to ever check it out, the clock is ticki...

Aaron Harrison's Game-Winner Made $329,166 For His Coaches, AD
Aaron Harrison's game-winning three that put his team into the Final Four may very well end up being the iconic shot of this tournament. It was also a shot that that put a lot of money in a lot of people's pockets, and none of them is named Aaron Harrison....

The Homecoming Of Willie Mays
Slide on over to the Daily Beast and check out this terrific 1972 Esquire story on Willie Mays by Murray Kempton:...

Best Ever: The Making Of "What Do You Think Of Ted Williams Now?"
This piece originally appeared in the eighth issue of The Classical Magazine. It is reprinted here with permission. ...

2014 Name of the Year: Round Two, And A Note On Middle Names
Before we get to the second round of our tournament, I'd like to share a tip we received from a reader named Jeffrey. Jeffrey is not himself a Name of the Year nominee, but he is a Brandeis alum familiar with Mingus Mapps, the Bulltron Regional's 8-seed and a Brandeis poli-sci professor....

A Bay Area Expat's Guide To Bay Area Rap
There is plenty to miss about the Bay Area, if you are ever fortunate enough to live there and then unfortunate enough to leave—the burritos, the vistas, the A's, the tech-doofus-dystopia hijinks, the absurdly temperate weather. ("At least you're part of the national conversation," crowed a sunny-an...

Chicago Sports Radio Host Shits In The Studio, Flees The Building
Les Grobstein, overnight host for 670 The Score, is a sort-of legend in Chicago, not just for his encyclopedic knowledge of area sports but for being, basically, the real life Oscar Madison. (See this great old Ben Joravsky piece, which among other things details how Grobstein got the infamous Lee E...

Sean Avery And Marty Brodeur Are Chirping About <em>Dancing With The Stars</em>
Former bad hockey player Sean Avery participated ever-so-briefly on this season's Dancing With The Stars, getting eliminated after one week. His old nemesis Martin Brodeur had something to say about his performance. So naturally Avery fired right back, and goddamnit here we go again....

Jiu-Jitsu Master Eddie Bravo Wants You To Know The Truth About 9/11
Eddie Bravo is a curious case, a serious jiu-jitsu player who some think is a crackpot and some think is the truth. Best known for training UFC commentator/living expression of Reddit Joe Rogan, he's also done some impressive stuff in competition—his win over Royler Gracie at an event the Abu Dhabi ...

This UNC Athlete's Paper Is A Joke. Who's To Blame?
On Tuesday, Outside the Lines broadcast a piece on the academic scandal unfolding at North Carolina, which according to a whistleblower funneled athletes into sham classes with minimal standards and workloads. The internet's big takeaway was this screengrab of one athlete's final paper, which report...

Kick 'Em All: How <em>The Raid 2</em> Turns Violence Into Art
Violence is such a constant in movies that we rarely appreciate when it's done well. The smallest hint of sexual content or nudity lands a film an R or a dreaded NC-17, but summer action blockbusters can inundate us with shootouts, explosions, car crashes, and off-screen deaths, and as long as th...